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(Lyle Stafford for the Globe and Mail/Lyle Stafford for the Globe and Mail)
(Lyle Stafford for the Globe and Mail/Lyle Stafford for the Globe and Mail)

Limits

Lots of choices on Vancouver's campaign menu Add to ...

It may be one of the consequences of our at-large voting system – it may also be apathy or willful ignorance in the name of self-preservation – but chances are you’ve never heard of most of the candidates running for mayor and council in the Vancouver civic election.

And I know, you could read all of their profiles and click on their links and friend them on Facebook, but really, who has the time?

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I’ve done the work for you, targeting some randomly selected candidates.

This is not intended to be a comprehensive list. Think of it more as a peek at the municipal buffet, through a foggy sneeze-guard.

Candidates for mayor:

Gölök Zoltan Buday

Affiliation: Independent.

Occupation: Not listed

Issues: Opposed to “police state tactics,” unwarranted searches and “political psychiatry.”

Quote: “Government must be restrained like an animal.”

Distinguishing characteristic: On his website, misquotes the “definition of insanity” quotation most often attributed to Benjamin Franklin. This is Mr. Buday's sixth run for mayor.

Menard Caissy

Affiliation: Re Party Vancouver

Occupation: Small business owner

Issues: Raise corporate taxes, 2 per cent gas tax is “unacceptable.”

Quote: “I will and am bringing politics back to people that work for a living!”

Distinguishing characteristic: In candidate profile photograph, appears surprised.



Dubgee (Harley Jaimes Rose)

Affiliation: Independent

Occupation: Musician, youth advocate

Issues: Improve public transit with express bus routes, housing and homelessness

Quote: “We cannot let Darth Gregor go on ignoring the homeless situation.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Self-confessed Star Wars geek.

Robin Lawrance

Affiliation: Independent

Occupation: Not listed

Issues: Unsuccessful run for mayor in Ottawa in 2010, still unhappy about it.

Quote: “I Mr Robin Lawrance will win this Election and be Come your new MAYOR.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Appears to have slept through official photograph; when read aloud, his candidate profile sounds like it was written by Dobby the house elf.

Gerry McGuire

Affiliation: Vancouver Citizen’s Voice

Occupation: Not Listed

Issues: Surtax on unoccupied residences, partial ward system, sustainable development, responsible civic spending.

Quote: “When it’s time to vote, Rock the boat.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Cool name.

Victor B. Paquette

Affiliation: Independent

Occupation: Retired teacher

Issues: Introduction of ward system of government, police oversight, pay parking in parks.

Quote: “Lack of leadership, self-serving agendas of associations and the arrogant attitudes toward Vancouver citizens require another system of governance.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Appears to have a jump on “Movember.”

Darrell “Saxmaniac” Zimmerman

Affiliation: Independent

Occupation: Not listed

Issues: Excessive council spending, free transit.

Quote: “I’m guaranteeing no riots in the streets. I’ll be elected mayor the week before the Grey Cup, I’m guaranteeing no riot or I’ll resign my job as mayor.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Often brandishes plush-toy lobster as well as actual saxophone; nomination papers signed by Brian “Godzilla” Salmi.

Candidates for council:

Joe Carangi

Affiliation: Non-Partisan Association

Occupation: Lawyer

Issues: Government transparency, integrity, “gimmicky green initiatives.”

Quote: “Our city needs real solutions to real problems.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Aversion to neckties.



Cord “Ted” Copeland

Affiliation: None

Occupation: Not listed

Issues: Ideological/partisan politics, lack of meaningful public consultation, civic accountability.

Quote: “I may not be able to change anything, but I may be able to change everything.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Inability to disengage “Caps Lock” key on home computer.

Amy “Evil Genius” Fox

Affiliation: None

Occupation: Finance Director, Supervillain

Issues: Housing, real estate speculation, automobiles, street names, bait bikes.

Quote: “Let’s smash one third of the streets and upon their ruins build houses and parks!”

Distinguishing characteristic: Wears mask.

Ian Gregson

Affiliation: De-Growth Vancouver

Occupation: Activist, musician, writer

Issue: Sustainability through “de-growth,” cycling infrastructure, community gardens

Quote: “De-growth is not the total rejection of consumerism, but the adaptation of consumerism to de-grow economies in order that they be indefinitely sustainable.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Does not own car, nauseatingly fit.

Jason Lamarche

Affiliation: Non-Partisan Association

Occupation: Small business banker

Issues: Dogs, community planning, fair taxation.

Quote: “ If you elect me to Vancouver City Council I’m going to work very hard on your behalf and I’m going to really put myself out there in a way few politicians do.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Ladies’ man.

Tim Louis

Affiliation: COPE

Occupation: Lawyer, two term cty councillor and Park Board commissioner

Issues: Transit, housing, poverty, social justice, sustainability.

Quote: “Local government is in a lot of ways the most important level of government. It’s what impacts us every day. Everything is local and we need strong voices on council that get that.”

Distinguishing characteristic: Che Guevara wood-cutting on the back of his wheelchair, occasionally seen sporting Che Guevara T-shirt.



WENDYTHIRTEEN

Affiliation: Independent

Occupation: Live music promoter

Issues: Extending Skytrain hours to prevent drunk driving, staggering pub hours, housing and homelessness, safety for sex-trade workers.

Quote: “Do I really think I can change this city for the better? Hell yeah!”

Distinguishing characteristic: Not sure where to start…

Vote wisely.



Stephen Quinn is the host of On the Coast on CBC Radio One, 690 AM and 88.1 FM in Vancouver.

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