A Calgary couple has negotiated a unique legal contract to ensure their kids will never have to do homework again after getting fed up with the weepy weeknight struggles over math problems and writing assignments.
Their daughter, Brittany, had to build in Grade 3 a playground from recycled materials, complete with moving parts. Their eldest son, Jay, was told to cut pictures of $1-million worth of consumer goods from a catalogue.
Do you have a crazy homework story? Tales of make-work projects, weird assignments or long hours slaving over math problems? Share them with Globe readers through our comments function and we'll feature some of the best submissions in this space Thursday.
Click here to share your homework story.
Airplanes that fly? Find-your-own dissection specimen? A selection of your best homework stories:
M.O. When I was in grade 10 (circa 1968), our biology teacher had us go out and find our own animal to dissect. The intention was for us to catch a frog or a snake, but some kids went directly to the local Humane Society and tried to adopt a pet -- that didn't go over too well with the School Board. When word got out, we figured we were home free (which would not doubt be the case today), but he insisted that we go out and get a frog and take it home to complete the assignment. Being a girl -- and not the tomboy type -- I had never attempted to capture an amphibian, so I took my dad with me for back-up. Grandma came along for the ride, and we left her sitting at a picnic table at the local nature park, while we hunted our prey. After about an hour, and several futile attempts to capture a croaker, we threw in the towel and headed back to the car. There stood Grandma, waving a plastic baggy in the air. She had managed to bribe a little boy by giving him a quarter in exchange for the frog that he was carrying. I always felt that it was thanks to my grandmother that I passed biology that year.
Nighhawk: Last year the grade 5 teacher assigned (beside the daily homework) 8 major projects while another class of the same grade had 3 projects. The first project was to construct an airplane that is capable of flying at least 10 ft, and of landing on its belly. The plane had to be constructed of 3 different materials (glue, tape or staples are not to be counted as material). A report was also to be submitted. This project was assigned to grade 5 (10 year olds. Guess who built that airplane??) One student's airplane consisted of an empty 2 litre pop bottle with a plastic fork stuck in it. I immediately imagined an anxious parent thinking "he wants an airplane.. here give him an airplane" as he/she stabbed the bottle with the fork. Oh, and the last project of the year was in June, 2 weeks before school was out for the summer.
ives: Grade 8, 1993: French class: I had to re-write my essay (word for word), because my lower case "P"s were not on the line, but looked to be somewhere between lower-case and upper-case "P"s, This happened three nights in a row. Math class, same teacher: for the whole year, we had to write out, by hand, the lesson part in our textbook to our notebooks the night before the class. This was the year I won the school-wide math contest... I could have done the exercises in the entire book in my sleep before the start of the year. I learned to hate math despite never getting less than 95% in any math class in high school. It was always make-work and always wasted my time. To this day, I find it infuriating when teachers go on power trips to push down the best student in the class.
KHardy78: The best project was to build a log house - grade 3. Naturally my kid tells us last minute. Out to the forest, pick up twigs try to figure out how to put them together so they stay, hilarious looking. The teacher's comments with her mark of C, it's a little breezy...we howled. There was a kid who used one of those log kits though and his dad sure looked sheepish
Pfff: My younger sister was assigned to make a paper maché globe, among other stupid projects (to teach her that the world is round, perhaps)? The globe, made of a paper-macheed balloon, took ages to make and floated around the house for a few days, but was nowhere to be found the day she had to hand it in. The entire family spent ages pulling the house apart, and it never did show up. It had floated into the path of my dad's weekly garbage round. To this day we accuse him of throwing away my sister's homework.
Ron-Cola: One day i didn't do my homework, my parents found out and took away the stuff that was very dear to me at the time (ie: hockey, tv, nintendo, going out). After that, I learned my lesson and did my homework every night.
SarahBella: When I was in primary school, I arrived home at 3:30 PM, did 30 minutes of homework. I still had time to go outside, to play to watch TV. Now children get home at 6:30 PM or later because most children in primary school attend day care or a babysitter after school. Our kids are tired, the parents are tired. We are all too tired, too depleted, to take on yet more tasks beyond dinner and baths and bedtime routines.