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mark schatzker

The new Yorkville’s outgrown its old mink britches

From Saturday's Globe and Mail

Mongolian granite sidewalks

Cost: $9-million

“Sidewalks are all about clack,” according to Jerome McFadden, opulence co-ordinator at the Bloor-Yorkville Business Improvement Association, “which is the sound you hear when a high heel comes in contact with it.” The vast majority of Toronto sidewalks are crudely poured rectangles of concrete and produce a muffled and unpleasant sounding clack. For the Mink Mile, the city airlifted in 400-tonne slabs of Mongolian granite and hired a Neapolitan “sidewalk tuner” – one of only four in the world – to hone each individual slab to 466 Hz, a frequency humans associate with taut buttocks and firm thighs. “Just wait till you see those debutantes strutting in front of Plaza Escada,” Mr. McFadden says. “You won’t believe your eyes, but you’ll be thanking your ears.”

Hydro wires by Prada

Cost: $7-million

When it comes to carrying megawatts of electricity beneath Toronto’s most fashionable shopping neighbourhood, the city didn’t go with any old wire. “Very early in the project, the city came to us and asked for help sourcing wire,” says Armand de Groot, a buyer of endangered textiles for Prada, “and we were more than happy to help.” With Mr. de Groot’s help, the city chose rhodium over plain-jane copper; at $2,300 an ounce, it’s one of the most fashionable metals going. Each strand is wrapped in a twill brocade of 60 per cent wild Thai silk and 40 per cent yak wool. And instead of the traditional black-white-red colour scheme representing hot, neutral and ground, they chose Amparo blue, camel and burnt sienna. “These colours are beyond timeless,” according to Mr. de Groot. “When they dig these things up in 25 years, people won’t believe how great they look.”

Luxury shampoo recycler

Cost: $3-million

Every day, in salons all across Yorkville, millions of dollars worth of Paul Mitchell shampoo, Bain de Terre conditioner, and Healium Deep pHusion treatment are rinsed from the scalps of millionaires and washed into Lake Ontario. The city plans on capturing that hair product and selling it – for a profit. “There’s a surprisingly large market for pre-used hair products,” according to Jim Keramatis, associate manager of waste innovation engineering at the City of Toronto. “We’ve teamed up with an Austrian recycling firm to create this one-of-a-kind technology.” In the first year, the city estimates it will achieve a 98-per-cent yield, and aims to be at 99 per cent by 2012. “Already we’re getting calls from New York about a special-edition TIFF-line of previously owned soaps,” Mr. Keramatis says. “This is shaping up to be a huge win.”

Xenon full-spectrum light standards

Cost: $5-million

The city’s award-winning ALAMP street lights may be energy efficient, but even the world’s top models can look gaunt and washed out under their pallid glow. For the Mink Mile, the city splurged on Korean-made 8,000-watt metal-halide bulbs that mimic the spectrum of light visible at the equator at noon on March 21, when the sun is at its zenith. “My friend Natasha is totally beautiful,” says Courtney Douglas, a 21-year-old PR intern who lives with her parents in Milton, “but she always has this puke-face thing going on at night.” Recently, Douglas was walking with her friend on the Mink Mile at night and noticed a difference. “I looked at Natasha and I was like, ‘Girl, you are totally hot. I would totally kiss you right now, if there were any boys around.’”