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This week Collected Wisdom sets sail on a voyage of nautical discovery. So batten down the hatches, pour some grog down the hatch and try not to get three sheets to the wind.

THE QUESTION: Toronto's Fraser Fulwell asked if there is a technical difference between a boat and a ship and, if so, what is it?

THE ANSWER: The simplest distinction, as so many CW readers pointed out, is that you can put a boat on a ship but you can't put a ship on a boat. Erik Langeland of Edmonton agrees, but gets into more detail.

"Any vessel that has davits or other equipment for carrying a lifeboat or motor launch is a ship. If a vessel has only inflatable life rafts, then that vessel is a boat."

He says other rules of thumb include:

• A ship requires a full crew, while most boats can be run by just one or two people.
• Ships usually have several decks, while a boat is either an open craft or may have an open deck over a covered or enclosed deck.
• Ships are generally capable of sailing the ocean, while boats (except lifeboats) are usually limited to inland waterways or coastal areas.

"Canoes, rowboats, motorboats, speedboats, houseboats and pleasure craft such as sailboats and cabin cruisers are all boats," he adds. "Cruise ships, most car ferries, and most ocean-going freighters are all ships. Some vessels, such as tugboats and high-speed passenger vessels (catamarans or hydrofoils), can go either way."

Graham Watt of Sackville, N.B., has been poring over the U.S. Naval Oceanographic Office Navigation Dictionary, which says: "The distinction between a ship and a boat is largely one of size, but there is no well-defined line of demarcation."

Interestingly, adds Mr. Watt, submarines, some of which are enormous these days, are called boats by their crews.

But there's an exception to this, adds David N. Griffiths of Halifax, who points out that the crews of ballistic-missile-carrying submarines in the U.S. Navy call their vessels ships to distinguish them from their undersea cousins.

Mr. Griffiths also tells us that, in the days of sail, vessels were described by their rigging. A "ship" was, by definition, a vessel with three or more masts, square-rigged on all three masts, "as distinct from a schooner, a barque, a brigantine etc."

However, CW's favourite answer comes from Roy Littlewood of Burlington, Ont., who writes: "A life-long merchant seaman once explained to me, 'A boat is what you get into when the ship sinks.' "

HELP WANTED

"My wife and I recently enjoyed a 'last-minute' deal to the Dominican Republic at a four-star, 'all-inclusive' resort," writes Dennis D'Aoust of Kingston. "We each paid only $715 in total. Of that, $315 went for taxes. Which country received the taxes? That leaves $400 for airfare and the cost at the resort. How does anyone make any money on such last-minute deals?"

A seasonal question from Richard Pantel of North Vancouver: "What is less damaging to the environment — buying an artificial Christmas tree and reusing it for many years, or buying a real tree each year, and then chipping it when the holidays are over?"

What is the origin of the expression "dressed to the nines" asks Francis Mozer of Toronto.

Send answers (and questions) to wisdom@globeandmail.com. Include your name, location and a daytime phone number.