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As a founding member of the United Alternative, the fledgling attempt to "unite the right" that ultimately put Stephen Harper in the living room of 24 Sussex Dr., I read Norman Spector's recent column on uniting the left with great interest.

His musings on what the Liberals, New Democrats and Greens must contemplate looking at their barren political landscape reminds me of what we faced in the conservative movement when we began to bring our fractious family together in early 1998, half a decade after the rise of Reform and the collapse of support for the Progressive Conservatives.

Looking back, what astonishes me to this day is that what Mr. Spector says the left must do to unite, which we thought would take us eons to accomplish, took just eight years. We thought it would take 20.

Far be it from me to offer assistance to the unholy trinity of Stéphane Dion, Jack Layton and Elizabeth May, but here is what we learned on our tortuous journey from United Alternative One, to United Alternative Two, to the Canadian Alliance, to the Conservative Party of Canada, to the government of Canada.

First, there must be a weary yearning on the part of the rank-and-file party memberships to end the losing. The Canadian left isn't there yet, as we were by 1998, but it will come. Eventually, the debilitating knowledge that elections can't be won will galvanize the membership to force the adults in the various parties to confront reality.

Second, that will force the donors to slowly begin to turn off the spigot.

Campaigns are not won on prayers alone, and as they say in the jungle, when the water dries up, the animals begin to look at each other differently.

As the money dries up, the third phenomenon takes place: middlemen reaching out to the other parties to begin negotiations.

These talks will be held not by the calcified elders whose ancient animosities are carved in granite, nor by the overprogrammed youth spoiling for a fight, but by a subset of pragmatists who, at this point, will be neither seduced by applause nor depressed by failure. When they start talking, things start happening.

The fourth step involves the negotiators leaving everything at the door.

It is tempting but pointless for the amateurs in the room to focus on current logos, slogans, colours, cultures or candidates, but the pros in the room must focus the discussion on the common set of political objectives to be achieved.

This is by far the hardest step - accepting that after all these years of fighting and losing, we actually do agree on a lot of fundamentals. That there is a lot of common ground if we would all just shut up, down weapons and go look for it.

Throughout this noisy and public process, with so many egos laid bare, the news media's obsession with winners and losers can only be endured, as we found out so painfully. The lesson is that if you can't stand their scrutiny as you build it, you will never be able to stand their scrutiny when you try to run it. So quit complaining - treat them like they treat you, and watch them behave in a hurry.

After all those painful steps and lessons, comes the most important ingredient of all, as in all great undertakings: leadership.

A couple of guys named Peter MacKay and Stephen Harper stepped up as they had to do in order to close the deal, but during the eight-year long trek to unite the right, there were so many others who went unnamed while carrying the freight.

And this is the most important lesson of all.

I am no Mary Poppins, but I know this: By 2004, the leaders of the Progressive Conservative Party and the Canadian Alliance had been essentially called onto the carpet by their membership, their fundraisers and their voters, and told that enough was enough.

So to the Liberals, the NDP and the Greens, there you have it. For myself and the hundreds of foot soldiers who did our part, we just pray that you aren't as successful as we were.

Are.

So far.

Rod Love was chief of staff to former Alberta premier Ralph Klein.