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The recent disappearance and death of a 15-year-old Ontario boy after a dispute with his parents over a video game has brought to the fore long-simmering concerns about computer games. This is not the first time these issues have been raised; people have been worried about video games since Space Invaders or even Pong. What's changed is that game playing has become nearly universal among youth: Nearly all children and teens - 97 per cent, according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project - play computer games at least occasionally.

With so many young people playing video games, more parents are expressing concerns about their addictive qualities. Many of the game players are worried as well: According to a Harris Interactive poll released in January, 23 per cent of gamers surveyed said they felt addicted to video games. It's long been a measure of praise to call a game "addictive," but it's now becoming clear that, for at least some people, both youth and adults, gaming can bear many of the characteristics of an addiction: a sense of euphoria; an inability to stop thinking about it; neglecting family, friends and school or work; and even physical symptoms such as migraines and sleep disturbance.

Yet, it's important to maintain perspective. We have a tendency to view the unfamiliar with suspicion: A teenage boy obsessed with hockey is seen as being normal, but one obsessed with a computer game is not. The fact that nearly all youth play video games tells us they are not all equally susceptible to addiction. It seems likely that some will be more at risk than others - those that are isolated, marginalized, anxious, depressed or suffering from low self-esteem.

Rather than jumping to the conclusion that an avid game player is addicted, we should look at the whole child. Is he doing well at school and finishing his homework? Does he have healthy friendships with peers, participate in other activities or have other interests? If things aren't going well in his daily life, gaming may have become a coping mechanism.

Parents, educators, governments and the gaming industry need to work together to develop an approach that ensures the well-being and healthy development of young people. Governments can fund research on gaming and children, and support education and public awareness initiatives. Industry members can provide parents with information to help them understand the rating system and better manage video-game playing in the home.

Some companies are responding by changing how they design their games. Blizzard Entertainment, creator of the online game World of Warcraft, updated its game to minimize the qualities that might provoke dependency in some players.

Parents should set household rules about computer use from an early age, although it's never too late to start. Research conducted by the Media Awareness Network's Young Canadians in a Wired World showed that rules do make a difference in kids' behaviour: Students surveyed who didn't have a rule about how much time they could be on the Internet reported spending 95 per cent more time online than kids who had restrictions.

Dialogue is critical and should be ongoing: Don't wait for something negative to happen before talking to your kids. Discuss issues that concern you, and ask them whether they're worried about their playing behaviour. What is it they find so engaging in the games they love? Is the content of some games disturbing? Why?

Parents also should make a point of playing games with their children, and encouraging them to use games with social components, such as Guitar Hero and Wii Fit.

In cases where addiction or other game-related issues are a serious concern, parents may need to seek professional help.

As always in media issues, education is the most important tool. New media - including video games - must be brought into the classroom curriculum, to help students acquire the literacy skills they'll need for the digital worlds they inhabit. Students need to learn to view what they see on the screen critically so they can recognize and respond to content that might be disturbing or offensive, to deal with online relationships, and to question their own gaming behaviour.

Cathy Wing is co-executive director of the Media Awareness Network, an Ottawa-based non-profit organization advocating online safety. Arlette Lefebvre is a staff psychiatrist at Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children and a member of the Media Awareness Network's board of directors.