Rodger Cuzner has drawn inspiration from Dr. Seuss, delivering a rhyming statement in the Commons lambasting Bev Oda.
“I must have pulled some shifty scam / to end up in the jam I am,” the Nova Scotia Liberal MP said. “Staff first said ‘Yes’ – I cannot lie / But with one word I would deny.”
The verse was well delivered, with much laughter and applause from MPs – though not on the government bench.
“The hand that changed the ‘Yes’ to ‘No’ / Was on the arm of the PMO,” it concludes.
Mr. Cuzner has a reputation for making creative statements in the Commons before Question Period begins and he did not disappoint Tuesday. His target was the International Co-operation Minister, who is under fire for allegedly misleading Parliament about a doctored memo.
At first she said she did not know who changed the Canadian International Development Agency document but later said that, under her direction, a “not” was inserted to deny funding to the faith-based aid group, Kairos.
Ms. Oda was in the Commons again Tuesday but is still not speaking for herself – something the Liberals were highly critical of during the daily jousting match. Government House Leader John Baird fielding questions instead.
Mr. Cuzner told The Globe that it took him roughly 45 minutes to pen the verse. “I could have done it quicker but I had trouble finding a rhyme for pathological,” he joked.
Here it is in its entirety:
This KAIROS issue begs some excuse / A ministerial statement from Dr. Seuss
I must have pulled some shifty scam / To end up in the jam I am
Staff first said ‘Yes’ – I cannot lie /But with one word I would deny
How it appeared, it¹s hard to say / But does it matter anyway?
Top bureaucrats, they did, I think / Inscribe the ‘NOT’ in deep red ink
They wrote the ‘NOT’ above the margin / It was not I, as they are chargin’
I had no role, is what I said / I had no role to make it dead
I had no role to stop the cash / It’s bureaucrats that you should trash
I do not like this KAIROS bunch / Nor does my boss, that’s my best hunch
That’s why he put me on the spot / That’s why he made me add the ‘NOT’
That’s what he made me think, I thought / That’s why my credibility is shot
Handwriting experts in the field / Provide the truth that should be yield
The hand that changed the ‘Yes’ to ‘No’ / Was on the arm of the PMO
