People of Canada, lend me your ears.
I am Michael the Great. I have returned to Canada to save you from yourselves and that Stephen Harper.
You should be very grateful that I left Harvard and made this sacrifice for you.
It matters little what I stand for because it truly is all about me and why I am good for you.
No one is better than I. When Dion beat me it was a fluke. And surely now people see what a mistake it was not to elect me. I do.
The Liberals deserve power because, well, that is required for you the public. I know this because I am wiser than all.
Spending $300-million to run this popularity contest is in my best interest.
Vote I for Ignatieff and I guarantee I will be the best because that is what I have always been anyway.