This weekend I watched In the Name of the King , a movie loosely based on Gas Powered Games' Dungeon Siege RPGs. It was directed by Uwe Boll, a modern day Ed Wood notorious for his terrible film adaptations of games like Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead, and, most recently, Postal.
Obviously, it was really bad. I knew it would be, but I'm a sucker for movies based on games—and I use the term “sucker” in its sincerest sense. I've watched dozens of films based on games, and I can count on the fingers of one hand those that provided even a shred of legitimate entertainment. Yet I keep coming back.
What's more, part of me still holds hope for upcoming movies based on games. I can't wait for this fall's Max Payne, in which Mark Whalberg will take on the role of the game's titular hardboiled cop. And next year's Prince of Persia, based on Ubisoft's popular fantasy/parkour game, will purportedly showcase the talents of director Mike Newell (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and actor Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Mountain). There's no way these movies can be terrible, is there?
Of course there is. As proof, I offer the following evidence:
I took a list of theatrically released films based on games that I found on wikipedia and cross-referenced it with Metacritic, a site that collates the reviews of hundreds of critics to reach a consensus. The best-rated movie ever made that used a video game as inspiration? Mortal Kombat . Yes, that kung-fu movie from the mid-90s that features a four-armed CGI creature so poorly animated that they'd have been better off using claymation.
Based on my Metacritic research, here is a list of the ten best-reviewed movies based on video games:
1. Mortal Kombat – 58/100
2. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within – 49/100
3. Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life – 43/100
4. Resident Evil: Extinction – 41/100
5. DOA: Dead or Alive – 38/100
6. Hitman – 35/100
7. Resident Evil: Apocalypse – 35/100
8. Pokemon: The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back – 35/100
9. Doom – 34/100
10. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – 33/100
In other words, movies based on games are universally wretched.
And yet, should any of the long rumoured film adaptations of the games God of War, Metal Gear Solid, BioShock, or Gears of War ever be made, you will almost certainly find me in line opening weekend.
Perhaps I should have that looked into.
And the very worst...
If the pitiful films above represent the ten best movies based on video games, one might rightly be curious to know the movies Metacritic rates as the ten worst. Here they are:
10. Pokemon Heroes – 27/100
9. Pokemon 4ever – 25/100
8. Pokemon 3 – 22/100
7. Postal – 22/100
6. Wing Commander – 21/100
5. Bloodrayne – 18/100
4. House of the dead – 15/100
3. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale – 15/100
2. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation – 11/100
1. Alone in the dark – 9/100
