Born Nov. 5, 1994, Sammy has been described as a mama’s boy who grew up in a wealthier Aleppo enclave and went to Al Amal, a private Christian school. He went to church on Sundays and his mother’s home was decorated with pictures of Jesus. He played the guitar, listened to Arabic music and swam in the pool at Mr. Baurak’s grandmother’s house.
About five years ago, though, Mr. Yatim’s life appears to have been turned upside down. He left the comfort of his mother’s home and the instability of Syria for a new start in Canada, where his father, a management consultant, has been living for about 30 years. It’s unclear when or where the parents met or if they’re now officially divorced, but undoubtedly Mr. Yatim had trouble adjusting to living with his father. He grew frustrated by things like having to eat frozen pizza every night because his dad couldn’t cook.
Mr. Yatim and his father fought over him smoking pot and drinking hard liquor, but his cousin, Eiad Yacoub, said the troubles were far more deep-seated – that Mr. Yatim resented Nabil because he felt “he wasn’t there to support him.” And his mother, who started fearing for her safety in Syria during the civil war, left the city of Aleppo to be here in part because she felt her son “wasn’t on the right path.” She was worried he was stumbling in his studies and abusing substances, and was considering starting life anew in either Toronto or Montreal, where she has family.
“All she felt was guilt over the things she could’ve done,” Mr. Yacoub said, describing what he witnessed when Ms. Bahar learned her son was dead. “She was crying his name, crying all the things she was feeling – that she was responsible, ‘I shouldn’t have sent him to his father. I should’ve been there. I knew there was trouble.’ ”
Mr. Yatim returned to Syria and his mother during his summer holidays, until about a year ago when the war escalated, but when he was in Toronto, he did his best to fit in with his clique. Ms. Maghami said Mr. Yatim went from being an “Adidas tracksuit kind of guy” to sporting baggy pants, a backward hat, “like all the cool dudes,” and adopting profanities and slang like “yo,” “bitches,” and “pussy” – the latter used, for example, if someone chased a shot of hard alcohol with a sip of a milder beverage.
“It wasn’t a struggle, because people loved him, but he definitely changed his image,” said Ms. Maghami, who met Mr. Yatim at summer school in 2009 before he started at Brebeuf College, an all-boys Catholic high school. (She joked that he did poorly on a summer school math test, despite trying to copy her answers.) “You could see Syria would have been easier.”
Mr. Yatim spoke often of fond memories from Syria. The first time Ms. Maghami met him, she told him she didn’t know what Syrians look like, and he said: “They all look different, but I look the best.”
Emulating his friends may have distracted Mr. Yatim from his schooling. He was always texting on his phone during class and had to borrow other people’s notes at test time, said Joshua Cumberbatch, a Grade 11 biology classmate. At times, he said, Mr. Yatim went to school but skipped class and hung around in the hallways with friends.
“I think he was under some kind of pressure,” said Mr. Cumberbatch. “It looked like he was trying to fit in, but if he would just try to be himself, he would’ve probably done a lot better.”
“He was almost afraid to show us who he was,” echoed Ms. Maghami. “If he was smart, someone may say he’s a nerd and not cool. And he would much rather be cool.”
The last time Mr. Baurak saw his childhood friend was five years ago at the Aleppo airport, when he and two other friends joined Mr. Yatim’s mother and sister in sending him off to Canada. The boys carried him around on their shoulders and tried to enjoy their last few hours together. Mr. Yatim was conflicted about his departure: on the one hand excited about the prospect of a brighter future, and on the other upset at having to leave his friends, Mr. Baurak said.
“It was sad to say goodbye,” Mr. Baurak said of the farewell. “It’s sad to lose someone that you’ll miss and love.”
With a report from Cynthia McQueen
The printed and earlier online version of this story said that Sammy Yatim became an Adidas tracksuit kind of guy who sported baggy pants, a backward hat, and adopted profanities and slang. This online version has been corrected.Report Typo/Error