Fred Lum/The Globe and Mail
"All parties appear to be protesters; backpacks; clothing and females all have hairy legs." – Toronto police officer's notebook, June 27, 2010
This week, a group of women from Hamilton sued the Toronto Police for $1.4-million, alleging they were arrested as they left a Yonge Street restaurant the day after 2010's G20 summit. The supposed reason? They had hairy legs. According to their lawyer, the Ontario Independent Police Review Director found corroborating evidence inside one of the arresting officer's notebooks. Herewith, a look at what else was in that officer's notebook.
June 30
Caught suspicious looking male; early 20s; eating veggie wrap outside Hockey Hall of Fame. Suspect became hostile at inquiry of "You call this lunch?" Handcuffed him to idling UPS truck until he apologized.
July 5
Observed three tall, blond women with short hair and unshaven armpits clutching maps and staring at CN Tower. Quickly deduced group was analyzing structural weak points in order to plant charges; perhaps from Edge Walk. Intercepted all three as they were buying ice cream. Suspects spoke in some kind of secret code. Arrested them and brought them to station.
July 6
Turns out suspects are German tourists. Captain is seriously pissed.
July 13
Arrest schnauzer after stepping in dog poo. Suspect in holding cell until DNA results come through.
July 20
Apprehended person of interest; gruff male; mid-30s; leaving Tim Hortons drive-through in a '04 Ford F-150. Claimed he is contractor. Appearance and tools match description; but something not right. Suspicions proved correct when suspect found drinking vanilla iced latte supreme. Likely member of sleeper cell. Impounded vehicle and dropped suspect off on gravel road near Uxbridge. As pulling away, rolled down window and said, "This is your last warning."
July 24
Doggy DNA results arrive from lab: no match. Schnauzer's exuberance upon leaving cell suggests suspect is guilty after all. Question whether lab has under control of radicalized agents.
July 30
Pull over bike courier. Extensive tattoos; multiple piercings; strange shoes that somehow attach to pedals. Claimed he is "live-and-let-live libertarian." Put bike in police auction and released suspect with stern warning.
August 4
Act on Crime Stoppers tip about group of radical youth forming drum circle at Trinity Bellwoods Park. Attempt to arrest but overcome by stench of body odour. Powerless against secret weapon.
August 9
Apprehend woman leaving drug store. Search car and find 10,000 pounds of fertilizer, remote ignition device, razors and shaving cream. Thank suspect for being good citizen.