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(Fred Lum/The Globe and Mail/Fred Lum/The Globe and Mail)
(Fred Lum/The Globe and Mail/Fred Lum/The Globe and Mail)

Satire

The Ana Bailao Story: The Official Movie Trailer Add to ...

A PG-13 rating appears. Dissolve to: An NFB logo. Dissolve to: A Telefilm Canada logo.

Tinkling, portentous piano music plays.

NARRATOR: Her roots were humble.

A teenage Bailao walks home from West Toronto Collegiate as several privileged students speed by her in a car and yell “…Sucker!”

NARRATOR: Her degree was worthless.

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A jubilant Bailao jumps for joy in front of a sociology department.

NARRATOR: But she had the one thing it takes to get elected to city council…

Bailao knocks on a door of a Ward 18 home. It is opened by a grey-haired man wearing an egg-stained brown bathrobe and black socks.

NARRATOR: … a pulse.

Cut to: Bailao delivering her campaign victory speech on the night of Oct. 25, 2010, as supporters throw confetti in the air.

NARRATOR: She was the perfect downtown councillor.

Settling into her new office, Bailao tosses an “Adam Giambrone” name plate into a garbage pale as workers in haz-mat suits remove a worn out couch.

NARRATOR: Progressive….

Bailao walks past an idling car and shakes her head in disgust.

NARRATOR: … a woman of the people…

Bailao, her fist in the air, voices her support for Jarvis Street bike lanes in front of a crowd of cheering cycling activists wearing spandex.

NARRATOR: … and a fervent believer in in naïve pseudo-Keynesianism.

Addressing city council, a teary-eyed Bailao champions paying city cleaners $64,000 per year instead of investing the money in actual social services.

NARRATOR: From the producers of Hoffa, Nixon, and Boogie Nights comes this epic tale of really bad judgment.

Addressing a stunned city council, Bailao reverses herself and votes against the Jarvis Street bike lanes. An astonished Vaughan vomits in disbelief.

NARRATOR: The story of how one woman set out to eradicate the vortex of slime and hypocrisy at City Hall….

The Thompson Hotel, the night of the ironically titled Mayor’s Ball for the Arts. Two MGM casino lobbyists in flashy suits hang out in front of a swanky bar.

NARRATOR: …only to get sucked into it.

A casino lobbyist hands a crantini to a brunette in a fancy dress. Her back is to the camera. We cannot see who she is. She sips from the drink and turns. It is…Councillor Bailao.

NARRATOR: And in the process...

The lobbyist tips his flute of sparking wine in her direction.

NARRATOR: …gets turned into the one thing…

Bailao boogies on the dance floor with Doug Ford, who dances like he’s drying his rear end with a beach towel. The pair join a conga line.

NARRATOR: …she promised herself...

Bailao gets into her car in front of the Thompson Hotel and starts the engine without turning the lights on. Cut to: Bailao driving up Bathurst Street listening to “Walking on Sunshine” at full volume. Cut to: Bailao blowing into a breathalyzer.

NARRATOR: …she would never become.

The morning after. An ashen-faced Bailao holds a press conference and announces she will plead not guilty to a charge of drinking and driving.

NARRATOR: A politician.

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