ART & MUSEUMS
The Artist Project
There's no such thing as a stupid question, and there's no such thing as stupid art. Everything you wanted to know about contemporary art and were afraid to ask is explained during a festival of 200 artists and a series of chats which includes an introduction to art buying (March 4). March 3 to 6, $8 to $12. (Opening night preview party $25.) Queen Elizabeth Building, Exhibition Place, theartistprojecttoronto.com .
Betty Woodman: Places, Spaces & Things
The significant ceramicist is celebrated with an exhibit of colourful pieces and large-scale wall installations from the past 20 years of her career, including a group of fifty elegant vessels created during multiple residencies at the Sevres Factory in France. March 3 to June 5 . $6 to $12. Gardiner Museum, 111 Queen's Pk., 416-586-8080 .
L'Orchestre d'Hommes-Orchestres performs Tom Waits
The eccentric bohemian-styled singer-songwriter Tom Waits has fairly concocted himself, and now in that spirit of offbeat innovation a Quebec City troupe present a music carnival of his work performed on some 100 "invented" instruments. March 2 to 5, 7:30 p.m. $25. Theatre Centre, 1087 Queen St. W., 416-538-0988 .
The U.S. pop cyborg has invited a 10-year-old Winnipeg YouTube phenom to make an appearance here, but all eyes are bound to be on the New York singer who famously taunts the fame monster, conventional fashion and Lady Madonna. March 3, 8 p.m. $66 to $191.50 . Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay St., 416-870-8000 .
You've seen the new documentary ( Lemmy, a tribute to the culture of Marlboros, Jack Daniels and blitzkrieg rock music), now see the man. Ian Fraser Kilmister, 65, fronts Motörhead, which tours in support of its rugged and coherent 21st album, The Wörld Is Yours. Saturday, 8 p.m . $45.75. Kool Haus, 132 Queens Quay E., 416-870-8000 .
After his well-crafted solo debut album from 2003 ( Party of One), we lost track of the soulful Toronto singer-songwriter. He's back now with his third album, Repeat Offender, another suburb effort of blue-eyed relationship-rock. Tuesdays in March, 10 p.m. $5. Dakota Tavern, 249 Ossington Ave. , 416-850-4579 .
She was the "genius straight from the slums." The story of late British playwright Andrea Dunbar and her troubled daughter is told by director Clio Barnard, who introduces her new wave documentary to Canadian audiences for the first time. March 2, 6:30 and 9:15 p.m . $12. Bloor Cinema, 506 Bloor St. W., hotdocs.ca/docsoup.
Which one is Natalie Portman? The Mariinsky (Kirov) Ballet dances its signature piece, featuring a black queen, a white queen and the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony. March 1 to 6 . 2, $60 to $225 . Sony Centre, 1 Front St. E. , 416-872-2262 .
It's a shadow of its former self - and that's okay. The 15th annual event, involving identical diorama frames, gathers for auction original works from more than 150 Canadian and international artists, in benefit of the Textile Museum. March 3, 6:30 to 9 p.m. (pieces on view now). $35. 55 Centre Ave., 416-599-5321, ext. 2246 or shadowbox2011.eventbrite.com.
Often compared to George Carlin and Bill Hicks, the left-wing podcasting satirist has earned praises from Robin Williams and Janeane Garofalo and scorn - "Jamie Kilstein is a doofus" - from Fox News Channel's Glenn Beck. Saturday, 8 p.m. $15 to $20. Comedy Bar, 945 Bloor St. W., 647-898-5324 .
It's no news flash that the humourist is warm, genuine and funny, even when she talks about hot flashes, which she does to uproarious effect in Wit's End III: Love Life, her post-menopausal monologue. To March 13. $30 to $70. Winter Garden Theatre, 189 Yonge St., 416-872-5555 .
Kids Summer Camp Expo
They'll love it at Camp Grenada. Parents in need of camp-counselling are invited to check out summer possibilities for their knee-scraped juniors. Saturday, 11 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Register for free tickets at campexpo.ca. Roy Thomson Hall, 60 Simcoe St.
Winter Indoor Farmer's Market
There's room at the inn for all manner of artisan gifts and farm-fresh foods at a monthly market. March 2, 2 to 6 p.m. Free. Montgomery's Inn, 4709 Dundas St. W., 416-394-8113.
Billy Elliot: The Musical
The story of a boy who trades his boxing mitts for ballet shoes packs a heartwarming wallop. Scored by Elton John. Indefinite run. $36 to $200. Canon Theatre, 244 Victoria St., 416-872-1212 .
A Midsummer Night's Dream
A serious consideration of love in its many guises is woven through Shakespeare's tale of romance, forest-dwelling fairies and an untalented troupe of amateur actors. Good fun, from the Soulpepper Company. To April 15 . $32 to $60. Young Centre, 55 Mill St., 416-866-8666 .
La Voix Humaine (The Human Voice)
"The style of this play excludes anything resembling vigour," Jean Cocteau said of his 1930 monodrama. The director Ivo van Hove and the actress Halina Reijn ignore the French playwright in a voyeuristic, emotionally lively production about a woman and a desperate final phone call. (Performed in Dutch with English surtitles.) March 2 to 5, 8 p.m. $45. Enwave Theatre, 231 Queens Quay W., 416-973-4000 .
More Fine Girls
Following up the 1995 hit The Attic, The Pearls and Three Fine Girls, the Fine girls reconvene 10 years after a divisive party in a comedic play about family and the realities of middle age. March 2 to April 3 (now in previews). $22 to $44 . Tarragon Theatre Mainspace, 30 Bridgman Ave., 416-531-1827 .
Are You Okay
Described as a "mutual biography in space," a new theatrical dance piece is created and performed by dancer and choreographer Peggy Baker and award-winning playwright and actor Michael Healey, and directed by Daniel Brooks. Together these masters explore body betrayal and the fleeting nature of professional capability in simultaneous one-man, one-woman show. March 4 to March 13 (previews begin March 1).$15 to $25. Factory Studio Theatre, 125 Bathurst St., 416-504-9971 .
LITERARY & LECTURE
The star astronomer brings the latest news from the final frontier, discussing Strange New Worlds: The Search for Alien Planets and Life Beyond Our Solar System, an illuminative new book with a title light-years long. March 2, 7 p.m. Free. North York Central Library, 5120 Yonge St., 416-395-5535.
Beatnik-hobo rockabilly music, done each week curiously by the veteran singer/double bassist. Saturdays, 3 to 7 p.m. Dominion on Queen, 500 Queen St. E., 416-368-6893 .
Elgin and Winter Garden Theatre Centre
That's not just any backstage fur ball: Over its long history, the double-decker theatre has been home to vaudeville productions, soft-core pornography and the long-running musical Cats. A free tour takes crowds upstairs, downstairs and places behind the scenes. Saturday, 11 a.m. (No reservation required, but arrive 10 minutes before tour starts.) 189 Yonge St., heritagetrust.on.ca.
Alice in Wonderland
They're nothing but a pack of cards: Montreal's Théâtre Tout à Trac uniquely adapts the Lewis Carroll's fantastical classic, using puppetry, props and masks to tell the peculiar tale of a rabbit-chasing girl, a mad hatter and the Queen of Hearts. (Recommended for ages 6-10.) March 1 to 19. $15 to $20. Lorraine Kimsa Theatre for Young People, 165 Front St. E., 416-862-2222 .
Totsapalooza: Franklin's Backyard Birthday Blitz Edition
He's not so shy, once you get him out of his shell. A popular event gathers indie-rock bands along with author Paulette Bourgeois and illustrator Brenda Clark and their famous creation, Franklin the Turtle. Sunday, 2 to 4 p.m. $8 to $12. Revival, 783 College St., smallprinttoronto.org
The Fantasticks To March 24. Young Centre, 416-866-8666.
The Secret Garden To March 19. Royal Alexandra Theatre, 416-872-1212.
Barrymore To March 9. Elgin Theatre, 416-872-5555.
South Pacific To April 10. Toronto Centre for the Arts, 416-644-3665.
CanAsian Dance Festival Saturday. Fleck Dance Theatre, 416-973-4000.
Rhubarb Festival To Sunday. Buddies in Bad Times, 416-975-8555.
AutoShow To Sunday. Metro Toronto Convention Centre, autoshow.ca.
National Home Show To Sunday. Direct Energy Centre, nationalhomeshow.com.
Toronto Classical Singers Sunday. Christ Church Deer Park, 416-443-1490.