Sometimes, I think only a moron could vote for Rob Ford as mayor of Toronto. And sometimes, I think I might vote for him myself - especially when I recall the wretched fate of Bridgette Pinder.
Ms. Pinder had the bad luck to be selected by the city as one of eight entrepreneurs to launch the Toronto a la Cart program, a plan to broaden the variety of street food beyond hot dogs and sausages. Simple. Cities license vendors all the time. But this is Toronto, where the intrusive nanny state has reached unparalleled heights. Ms. Pinder's jerk chicken and roti had to pass inspection by armies of bureaucrats for its nutritional value, tastiness, safety and contribution to ethnic diversity. Then she was made to buy a portable food cart specially built for the city. It was massively overpriced, and it wasn't even portable. Two years later, Ms. Pinder is bitter and broke, and hungry citizens are still stuck with hot dogs.
Rob Ford would never stand for this. And that's why, despite the horror of my friends, Rob Ford is still leading in the polls. The large and solid Mr. Ford has all the flair, intellect and vision of a block of concrete. He's also the only candidate who seems to get what's wrong at City Hall. And that's what horrifies me.
For the most part, Toronto is a remarkably vibrant and successful city. But the people who run the place have lost touch with the people who live in it. Many of those people are fed up with being hit by new fees and levies every time they turn around. The city is deep in deficit, and the traffic is permanently stalled. But City Council seems obsessed with recycling schemes, food carts and bike lanes. Mr. Ford may be as dumb as a bag full of hammers, but the last guy was a Harvard economics graduate, and look what good it did for Ms. Pinder.
Mr. Ford has a very simple platform: Cut spending, cut red tape, and clean up the graffiti. His chief rival, George Smitherman, has an even simpler platform: I'm not Rob Ford. His best hope of winning on election day is that people are so terrified of Mr. Ford, they'll turn out en masse to vote for him.
Spotting the difference between the two of them is pretty easy. One is gay and one is straight. One is a big fan of the arts, and the other's last encounter with the arts was the time he acted in a high-school play. One objects to all those marathons that tie up traffic, and the other runs in them. But now, the two are beginning to look more and more alike. Mr. Smitherman, who began this race with no other platform but "Vote for me because I deserve it," has now declared that he, too, will cut spending and red tape at City Hall.
Mr. Smitherman has a lot of experience as a powerful provincial cabinet minister. Mr. Ford has a lot of experience in his family decal business. Which is better? Well, when Mr. Smitherman was health minister, he created a special layer of regional health bureaucracy that's done nothing to improve health care but did add a lot more cost and confusion to the system. As energy minister, he rammed through a ridiculously expensive "green energy" scheme that's filled with boondoggles and will jack up people's hydro bills.
Rob Ford is not nearly as smart as George Smitherman. But maybe that's a good thing.
Over at Queen's Park, the Premier's office is said to be terrified because, if Rob Ford wins, it means the populist revolt is truly under way. A provincial election is coming up next year, and it would be awkward if people suddenly started asking why Dalton McGuinty was fooling around with all-day kindergarten while Ontario was racking up $40-billion more in debt.
No, it's not the Tea Party. But something's on the boil. And incumbents will get scalded.