Suze sounds off

Women & Money: A Complicated Relationship

Full interview. An excerpt ran in the May 22 edition
of the magazine.

Globe Investor Magazine, May 22, 2008
Photograph by Marc Royce

Suze Orman, author of “Women and Money” has been known to whip up crowds in her motivational speeches across the United States, Canada, Asia and Africa. Since starting her own financial planning firm 20 years ago, she has published six New York Times personal finance bestsellers and continues to host “The Suze Orman Show” on CNBC. She has been giving advice for decades, recently as a contributing editor to Oprah Winfrey’s “O” magazine. But her latest project tackled a subject she had been hesitant to write about: Women and their finances. BNN’s Kim Parlee talked with the 57-year-old Emmy award-winning host on how women are getting worse, not better, at dealing with their money.

Your latest book is called “Women and Money.” Why on earth in the year 2008 do women need a book like this?

The truth of the matter is that women are making more money than they ever have before. But the one thing that has not changed is the fact that women still use their money for everyone else’s purpose before their own. Are you married?

Nope, I’m not.

If you were married, if you had children, you would take every single penny that you are making and you would make sure that your kids were okay, your husband was okay, your parents were okay, your brother was okay and your sister was okay. You would not think about yourself on any level, until it is too late. Until you get a divorce, you are ill, you suffer a death of a spouse, or a life partner, and then you would wake up.

What tragic stories you have heard?

Oh, God, it makes me want to throw up. I’m famous for saying, “Don’t ever co-sign a loan for anybody.” And the truth of the matter is men don’t. Women, on the other hand, women will co-sign for their sons, for a boyfriend, almost anybody, and then the people stop paying ... and then the woman’s credit is ruined.

Why do you think women do that?

Women say “yes” out of fear rather than “no” out of love. They’ll feel one thing, yet they’ll do another because the last thing they want to do is to make somebody else feel bad. Because that is part of their socialization process.

Aren’t women changing for the better?

No, it’s getting worse – because now women have more money to give.

Then, why did you wait so long to write this book?

I didn’t want to believe it. What I didn’t get until my own TV show is that what women do with the money they make is different than what men do with the money they make. And it really came to my attention when I was thinking about all the calls I have ever gotten, that never once have I gotten a call from a man who co-signed a loan for somebody. There is one instance of a couple where the husband, who is $100,000 in credit card debt, everyone thought it was the woman who was at fault. I just found out that the woman doesn’t even own a damn credit card. And why? Because he hasn’t worked for three years. And why? Because he lost his job three years ago and he can’t find anyone else who can hire him. And why can’t he find anybody who wants to hire him? He’s 62 years of age. He’s too embarrassed to go and try. And a woman will do anything if she has to do it.

You say in your book the eight qualities of wealthy women are harmony, balance, courage, generosity, happiness, wisdom, beauty and cleanliness. What does cleanliness have to do with wealth?

Everything. When you aren’t clean, you have clutter. When you have clutter, you cannot find that which you need. When you cannot find that which you need, you go out and you buy something again. I had a friend, she was a one of the main fundraisers for the Republican Party, and she would pick me up in this fancy Jaguar, and I could barely get in. Why? Because her car was so full of junk. I was like, “What the hell was that?” As it turned out, she had so much debt. I then started to make the connection that a filthy car usually has owners with credit card debt. So if you cannot respect what money can buy, you cannot respect money. Period.

What is the most common investing mistake a woman makes? She doesn’t get involved with it enough. She believes her financial advisor always has her best interest at heart. She thinks her husband knows what he is doing when it comes to money, and he is nothing more than a financial faker. The biggest mistake she makes is she doesn’t think she has what it takes, because she thinks she’s not good with numbers. Not that she buys or sells wrong.

Do women make investing decisions differently than men?

They may be more conservative. For instance, real estate. The majority of women would like to own their home outright. The majority of men don’t want to own their home outright. They have more of a tendency to take the equity of their home and do something with it.

And why do you think that is?

Because a woman intuitively and intelligently knows that, actuarially speaking, she will live longer. She will be on this planet for 10 to 20 years longer than her male counterpart. And therefore she doesn’t want to risk anything. The other thing you have to remember is that you have the ability to give birth, you have the ability to feed that which you have given birth to, it is your nature to nurture. So a woman – it is imprinted in her soul. It’s not imprinted in a man’s soul that way. It is not his nature.