Dear Corporate Governess
One of my employees has a swimsuit calendar hanging in his cubicle, and I'm pretty sure it's angered some women in the office. A few of them have responded with beefcake pin-ups. Should I head off this conflict by enacting rules for cubicle decoration?
Robin S., Calgary
Dear Robin
The idea of waging a war with Brad in a loincloth and Pammie in a thong is enticing, but I agree this would be distracting in a business environment. Whether formalized rules for cubicle decor would work depends very much on the culture of your office. Employees have only a few cubic feet of space they can call their own, and many regard this as sacred territory. I knew a woman who redesigned her office according to the elements of feng shui (wood, fire, earth, metal and water). It was meant to bring her luck, but it backfired when her fish tank sprung a leak, damaging the office below. She ended up knee-deep in hot water.
While most employees' preferences run to portraits of their spaniel or spouse, taste is personal and difficult to regulate. Your efforts to establish a set of dos and don'ts could dissolve into a debate over the relative offensiveness of the accountant's cactus collection versus the marketing assistant's Beanie Babies. What are you going to do, appoint a decorating marshal? So, to answer your question: Rules would be overkill. A quiet word to the offending parties that the joke is over is probably all that's required.
Dear Corporate Governess
I'm currently being interviewed for a new job. Things are going well, and I think the company might make me an offer. Problem is, I haven't told them I'm four months pregnant. Should I wait until I have the job?
Rachelle F., Ottawa
Dear Rachelle
Yes, wait. You're under no obligation to reveal the pregnancy and, under Canadian law, the employer isn't supposed to ask. Tell them and it will be hard for them not to discriminate against you. Unfortunately, many companies only give lip service to the law. It's true the company will be inconvenienced and probably a trifle miffed by your news. Unfair? Perhaps, but so is morning sickness, varicose veins and the indignity of looking like a Playskool Weeble. According to a 2003 study by Statistics Canada, nearly half of first-time mothers wait until they are over 30 years old to start their families. Women have earned the right to both a job and a family, just like men.
Once you have the job, spill the beans to your new boss. Confirm your long-term commitment to the company and work out a plan. Offer to help with the transition and the training of your maternity-leave replacement. Then work your tail off till you're ready to pop.
Dear Corporate Governess
At a recent trade show event, I said way too much about my company's business to a competitor. While I blame the scotch, I'm sick that my indiscretion is going to get back to my employer. I plan on keeping my mouth shut from now on, but should I come clean to my boss first?
Nathan G., Oakville, Ont.
Dear Nathan
Secrets have a shorter shelf life than an opened bottle of Cristal. So tell your boss before your competitor acts on the information you so freely gave him. Wondering when your nasty little secret will surface is bad enough, but a failure to consider the company's interest would virtually guarantee no mercy when it does. It's better to own up before the shit hits the fan. Yes, they might fire you, depending on how damaging your indiscretion was. But doing nothing is worse.
You've committed a serious breach of trust. In some cases—if you've signed a non-disclosure agreement, for instance—you could be subject to legal action. In fact, I'd bet on it, if the slip ends up costing the company. Come clean now and they may have time to do some damage control. Apologize and offer to do whatever you can to help. If you're lucky, your boss might realize the gaffe was unintentional and forgive you.
In future, stick to Perrier and impress your competitors with your maddening ability to keep a secret.
