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After a long, hot and relaxing summer, we step back into the office and all is right with the world. All those annoying little idiosyncrasies that our colleagues have do not seem to faze us like they did only a few short months ago. We can forgive them their little "wierdnesses," those actions that give us fodder for gossipy dinner time conversations with friends or spouses. And the mistakes that those under us keep making - they don't seem to matter any more. We smile, pat them on the back and say, "No problem. Try again. You'll get it next time."

Perhaps that describes a lame first episode of a new fall TV series, but surely not the reality that most of us live in! There is nothing that kills the relaxed and even euphoric feelings of a warm and lengthy summer more than stepping back into an office environment that is ripe with office politics, unresolved tensions and bitter rivalries. And the encroaching cold and dreary weather only exacerbates the tensions. So what do you do about it? As a manager, senior executive or even a fellow employee, you are partly, if not fully, responsible to deal with these situations and lead towards a healthier, more productive and enjoyable work place.

There are a myriad of good books, articles and problem solving manuals out there to deal with negative situations like this. One can find advice about any conceivable situation. Most go unread.

As I think about this situation, one word comes to mind: grace.

Now grace may seem an odd word in this context. Most of us think of grace as something some people say before they eat. Or you may think of it in terms of someone's "fall from grace" (a la Jimmy Swaggart, or Todd Bertuzzi). You may be hoping for a few days "grace" over those overdue summer novels!

What I mean by grace is this: extending unmerited favor to someone.

When someone wrongs us or fails us in some way, either personally or professionally, we have a few options as to how to respond.

• We can punish them.
• We can exact revenge in some way.
• We can show mercy and forgive them.
• Or we can extend grace.

Resisting our baser instincts to punish the culprit and forgive them is about as far as most of us can fathom going. In many situations that is difficult enough. But what would happen, do you think, if you went a little further? If you actually showed undeserved kindness toward your oppressor, or the one who has failed you? You can simply refrain from giving them the punishment you think they deserve (mercy) or you can give them something more, something they truly do not deserve (grace!) A kindness, a consideration, a compliment, an encouragement.

As impossible as this may seem, and before you write it off as naïve pulp, try putting yourself in the shoes of the one who deserves the punishment. You have failed. Your presentation was truly forgettable and you lost that key contract. You lost your temper with a client and their business is now gone. You did not do your homework and you lost what should have been a slam dunk account. After drowning your sorrows at the pub you crawl back to work the next day. You expect the worst. You won't make excuses. You'll ask for mercy!

Your boss responds quite unexpectedly. Not only do you receive mercy, he showers you with grace! Undeserved favour! He takes you out for a lavish lunch, full of encouragement and friendliness. Pie in the sky?

Tom Watson is the founder of IBM and made a fortune by letting his people make their own decisions. Even big decisions. There was a time when a young manager made a decision that lost the company 10 million dollars. When he came in to Watson's office to resign in shame, Watson said something like, "What? I just spent 10 million dollars on your education and you're going to quit on me?"

Would a response like that not make you think twice about your importance to the company? Would you not begin to change your attitude around the office? Would this not soften any tension between you and your boss? As time went on and grace was extended again and again, would you not begin to work a little harder, to try to live and work as if you did deserve this favorable treatment? If you could bypass your skepticism (not an easy thing to do for any of us) would you not be tempted to begin treating others this way?

Now, you are the boss. What is the cost to you of extending grace to those who fail you? Not simply forgiving them but showing undeserved grace? Could you do what Tom Watson did? It goes against our nature, to be sure (most of us, anyway). But what are the benefits? Are employees like the "you" in the previous paragraph worth cultivating — not simply people who fail but people who receive grace when they fail and are thus motivated to grow in passion and competence for what they do? Would your grace-filled leadership not, in turn, begin to unravel the tensions and rivalries that have been crippling your company or your department? What is the cost of not doing it?

This is exactly the way to turn a toxic office environment around in a hurry.

Looking for a challenge this Fall? Try Grace. You may be pleasantly surprised!

Dave Phillips, a Vancouver-based business and life coach will share his secrets for achieving both professional and personal success on globeandmail.com/smallbusiness. Mr. Phillips is a Guinness Book of World Record holder and a former national team freestyle skier. In addition to growing several nationally-recognized businesses from the ground up, he has worked as a ski show performer and stunt man for film and television. Mr. Phillips is married to 1976 Olympic Gold medal-winning skier Kathy Kreiner-Phillips. They have three children.

Dave Phillips can be reached at dave@courage4u.com. To read more about Dave's coaching philosophy, go to his web site . Dave's new book Three Big Questions that everyone asks sooner or later is available now.