The question
I have a question about recovering from bullying in the workplace by a direct supervisor. I was hired on an 18-month contract and found out six months after I got the job that I had been hired against the HR director's advice for a job that I was technically less qualified for than other candidates. Others on the panel thought I'd be meek and mild enough to work for a known bully and that my lack of experience would prevent me from being perceived as a threat. Instead, as the HR director predicted, I was still seen as a threat and my direct supervisor marginalized me, kept me out of meetings and kept me from doing work in my job description. She tried to have me fired on the basis of “poor interpersonal skills.” The effort nearly cost her her job, and though I was told I have a case, I decided not to go ahead with harassment charges for the sake of salvaging my job reference.
My question has to do with how I prevent this from affecting my job prospects after this contract ends (because she will not be renewing it). Her supervisor – the now past-president of the company – has agreed to be a glowing reference for me. My supervisor has also agreed to be a reference, but I'm worried that her tone and belief that I have poor interpersonal skills will come up in the reference check.
Is it better to take the risk on an iffy reference from a direct supervisor, or leave her out of it and hope that having the past-president as my reference will be impressive enough to justify excluding her? They will no doubt ask him questions about how I worked with my supervisor and I'm not sure how he plans to answer that. Also, when asked questions in an interview about a past job where you were legitimately bullied, is it better to pretend like it didn't happen? In my case, as a result of being so marginalized, my job title implies a lot more responsibility and diversity of tasks than I was actually allowed to perform. It makes being honest in interviews tricky. I usually imply that it was a one-off contract that didn't allow for renewal (which isn't true) and talk about what I did accomplish even if I know that that work sat unacknowledged on her desk without follow up. Thoughts?
The answer
Ahhh, the bullying boss, the toxic boss, at best the difficult boss. I have a feeling there will be many readers here who will relate to your situation. Supervisors – like any other role – come in all shapes and sizes. A difficult situation indeed, but the good news is that this tough chapter in your career does not have to define your future career prospects.
First, I would encourage you to not focus exclusively on this one contract when preparing to tell your career story. Without knowing your background, I suspect you have a track record of some career experience that enabled you to earn this role. Make sure you recall those parts and include them in your narrative. Take time to reflect on your successes, accomplishments and acquired skills.
But alas, you still will need to have something that speaks to this 18-month contract. My advice on this front is to not make “bullying boss” the central theme. It’s very important to prepare thoughtfully how to appropriately side-step that or at least deal with it professionally.
You are wondering if you can or should include your direct supervisor as a reference. That depends on whether or not you trust what she would say. You can certainly ask her but if you don’t trust her, I would caution against including her.
You wrote that your supervisor’s boss agreed to be a “glowing” reference for you. That is a very good thing! And because he was your boss’s supervisor and a past president of the organization, this brings even more credibility. It may not hurt to have a frank conversation with this individual to ask what he would say about you – especially in light of the challenging relationship you had with your supervisor. Additionally, if there is another person at the company who could be included as a reference, that couldn’t hurt either. And of course, references from other work experiences outside of this contract would be good to include.
