When she was growing up, Kathy Collard was painfully shy and withdrawn. “I was the kid who never put their hand up in class, even if I knew the answer. I had really low self-esteem,” she recalls. That lack of confidence was reflected in her demeanour, affecting the way she spoke and gestured and generally presented herself.
It wasn’t until she became an adult and opened her Kingston, Ont.-based business, Home Inspirations, that she recognized the value of improving her verbal and non-verbal communication skills. “I knew I’d need to be doing presentations and workshops, and I was terrified,” said Ms. Collard, a professional household organizer.
She joined a local Toastmasters group, which helped with her presentation style; but to move further out of her comfort zone, Ms. Collard sought the help of Catherine Bell, president of Prime Impressions Image Consultants in Kingston. Ms. Collard’s training sessions were videotaped and reviewed each week, giving her an accurate picture of how she appeared to others and what she needed to change to better project confidence.
The tapes, for example, revealed her tendency to lean to one side and cross her feet when standing, a position that made her appear uncomfortable, unstable and less grounded. “It was a real learning experience,” Ms. Collard said. Not only is she now more aware of the wordless signals her body language sends, but she’s also more sensitive to the non-verbal cues of others.
“It’s invaluable, especially in what I do as a organizer. A lot of times, physical clutter means emotional clutter. If I’m tuned into other people’s body language – whether they’re sitting facing me, looking at me, how receptive they are – it helps me help them.”
Non-verbal behaviour – facial expressions, gestures, eye movement, posture, and even tone of voice – send strong signals that tell others how well you’re listening and whether you’re interested in them, Ms. Bell said.
“Most people are unaware that their body language speaks far louder than what they are saying. And there’s a huge number of physical distractions that can certainly undermine or change your message,” Ms. Bell said.
About 93 per cent of all our communication is non-verbal, said Ric
Whether you’re managing employees, meeting with clients, making presentations or going on a job interview, both your verbal and non-verbal messages must align for effective communication, Mr. Phillips said. “People know when they see something odd; they may not be able to say exactly what that is, but they can sense when something is not right.”
A recent survey by CareerBuilder Canada of 200 hiring managers found that 68 per cent said they would be less likely to hire a person who failed to make eye contact during a job interview. Forty-five per cent cited the lack of a smile as a hiring deterrent, and 37 per cent said poor posture would also reflect negatively on job seekers.
Other body language that spurred a negative impression with the hiring managers included crossing arms over the chest (33 per cent); fidgeting (34 per cent); a weak handshake (33 per cent); playing with something on the table (32 per cent); and playing with hair or touching the face (21 per cent).
These sorts of gestures usually stem from our anxiety in situations where we want to appear confident and capable, such as making a formal presentation or during a job interview, Ms. Bell noted. And often the moves or gestures are unconscious habits.
Women and men make the same mistakes in body language, although women are especially prone to touching their hair, brushing it off their faces or sweeping it behind their ears, signs of insecurity and nervousness.
