Impulses: We often are derailed by momentary impulses. You might be in a meeting and impulsively commit to help out on a big project that will thwart your intent to be home more this month with your family. To counter those impulses, you need a crystal clear goal. If you intend to spend more time with loved ones, set clear expectations, write it out, and make it emotionally salient, perhaps by placing a picture of the family in a prominent position on your desk. “Keep it present and active in your brain,” he says.
Skills: We can lack the skills to make the change happen. We might not know how to sidestep some work obligations, for example, while still showing everyone we are dedicated to work. Learning such skills requires practice.
Social forces: With many social forces at work pulling you away from family, you need contrary social forces to help attain the right balance. Get family and workmates to help you keep your commitment to better balance. Make sure you see the comments from family as “support” and not “nagging.”
Teamwork: Look at the people around you, determine whether they are enabling or hurting your change effort, and figure out how to get the team fully onside. That may involve some negotiation with your boss, to help him see the advantage to your performance if you have more family time. Keep a distance from workmates who have been accomplices to you not having work-life balance.
Rewards: The paycheque you receive may scare you from changes that take you out of the office more. Counter that by clearly stating the values – the other rewards – that drive you. Mr. Grenny says it can also be helpful in the early stages of change to give yourself small rewards for success, like celebrating if you keep your goal for a month. The goals should be tangible, and near term.
The environment: If you have a cellphone constantly on your hip, it may be difficult to get away from work. Look at what changes you need to make in your environment for better work-life balance.
The more of those six invisible forces you have working in your favour, he says, the more likely you will be to make behavioural change at New Year’s.
Good luck.
Postscript
Becky Robinson, a consultant and blogger in Toledo, Ohio, has a simple, 12-minute approach to changing work-life balance. It started when she tried to find more time for her family by giving herself a 12-minute deadline for writing her blog posts. Now she applies that concept more broadly. Before American Thanksgiving, for example, she spent 12 minutes calling people to express gratitude. “Maybe it’s not 12 minutes for the task. Maybe it’s 30 minutes or an hour. But that sets a limit. Otherwise work expands to fill the time,” she says. So she recommends committing to these limited bursts in the New Year.
Harvey Schachter is a Battersea, Ont.-based writer specializing in management issues. He writes Monday Morning Manager and management book reviews for the print edition of Report on Business and an online work-life balance column.
E-mail Harvey Schachter
