A friend is dreading her return to work from vacation. Although she loves her job as a director of human resources, two of her staffers are driving her crazy.
One she calls "the princess." This employee arrives at precisely 9, leaves at 5 on the dot, and refuses to do anything beyond her job description.
Nonetheless, every week, she lobbies her boss for a promotion. Never mind her company's needs. Her pitch is that she would be "happier" at a more senior level.
The other staffer my friend bluntly refers to as "the idiot." "No matter how simple the task, he makes mistakes," she says.
My friend is at her wit's end. She has repeatedly coached both employees, to no avail. "I can't deal with them any more," she says. "They just don't get it."
We have all worked with people who "just don't get it." They don't listen or overestimate their worth or have no insight or are just plain thick.
While they are all different, their behaviour provokes a similar reaction: exasperation. We feel helpless because we can't influence them.
But their effect is powerful: They can poison how we feel about our work.
Short of murder or self-medication, what can bosses and co-workers do to deal with "don't get it" types? Here are some of the most common, and some strategies to cope:
The unjustified self-admirer
One client, new to her job, had to conduct annual reviews. To get a picture of her staffers' performance, she asked for names of people they had worked with before she arrived. One employee offered up three, adding, "Oh, these people loved me."
Needless to say, my client was bemused when all three indicated the staffer was one of the worst people they had ever worked with.
This staffer suffers from delusions of self-admiration.
Such people are tricky. Because they think they're so terrific, they're contemptuous of anyone who questions what they are doing or how.
Tread carefully. Their sense of self is so fragile that, if you challenge them, they may lie or attack. They are often not capable of having two dissonant thoughts: I am competent but not perfect.
Be mindful of how you express yourself when giving feedback. Avoid any statement that could be construed as an attack on their competence. Phrase comments in a way that allows them to save face. For example, "I may not have made clear the urgency of this project, so I understand why it is late, but ..."
The insatiable ascender
This person is a top performer - and also so intensely ambitious that as soon as he or she receives one promotion, the lobbying starts for another.
If you're the boss, you want to keep this top talent. But you also have to feed a bottomless hunger for status and recognition. While you have repeatedly counselled him or her to curb ambition in the short term, it falls on deaf ears.
If you're a co-worker, you resent the fact that your colleague can't understand why he or she acts more entitled than you to plum projects and recognition. They also make you feel a bit dim and worthless relative to their star cachet.
So what do you do? If you're the boss, you need to ask: What lengths are you willing to go to keep this person? If the answer is far, then you will need to feed the unquenchable thirst for status with a rich diet of high-profile assignments, large bonuses, constant pats on the back and significant opportunities to interact with senior executives.
But beware: You risk the good will of solid performers who will resent being consistently passed over in favour of the star they call your pet.
