Dear Corporate Governess
Ever since my boss got on Twitter, she’s been driving me crazy with tweets on the tuna salad she had for lunch (repeated on her) and her new highlights (tawny gold). The entire office is expected to “follow” her, and she “follows” us. (Twitter ruined!) How do I make her stop?
Josh M., Toronto
Dear Josh
Beginners like your boss tend to blow it, frankly, because Twitter sends a High School Confidential kind of vibe when it asks, “What are you doing?” The natural response is to share something immediate or private, but that can backfire in what has rapidly become a very public and professional forum. (The Web-based service recently hit the five-million-user mark.)
Since you can’t really stop your boss from tweeting (Twitter accounts are freely available to all, including the most narcissistic), I suggest you offer her a Twitter tutorial on how to harness the service’s power. Help her get beyond irritating updates on acid reflux and into Twitter as a tool to inform and connect—to create brand buzz, maintain a direct line to customers, pick up on industry news, save the world’s endangered bats—and, of course, do it in an entertaining, non-pushy way, using 140 characters or less. By empowering your boss with a few pointers, you’ll look like a hero and she’ll look like less of a twit. If that sounds like more than you can handle, initiate a brainstorming session where everyone in the office (including her) can share Twitter tips. If that’s more than your boss can handle, she should consider the route of some CEOs and celebs and hire a professional to tweet for her. For the record, the Governess doesn’t tweet, nor does she want to find anyone following her.
Dear Corporate Governess
I decided to snap up the alligator-skin Burberry tote featured in your April issue. When I gushed my intention to a co-worker, she suggested I use the money to feed starving children in Africa instead. Why should I feel bad?
Samantha T., North Vancouver
Dear Samantha
To quote Woody Allen, “The heart wants what the heart wants.” While I personally don’t accessorize with dead reptiles (the Governess prefers a more politically correct faux-version), I think this is your call. Don’t let do-gooder guilt put you off a good purchase. I’m sure Burberry’s executives and stockholders are feeling the pinch too, and will be exceedingly grateful for your charity.
Still, if spending $8,500 on a bag pricks at your conscience—be it the conspicuous nature of the consumption or the idea that gators might exact revenge the next time you tee off at Palm Beach—go with a cheaper tote. The World Wildlife Fund’s “One planet, one bag” holds anything the Burberry can and costs $24.99, plus shipping.
