The man has gone through more nicknames than Apollo Creed in the original Rocky. At one point in his Canadian Football League career, he was hailed quite seriously as Milt Stegall the Touchdown Beagle.
It may him sound like a Beanie Baby. Collect them all while supplies last.
Then came Turtle Man, which was supposed to pay homage to his turtle-like ribbed stomach. Instead, people thought he was a Teenage Mutant Ninja stand-in with a withdrawn personality.
But now, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers' ace receiver, who is but two touchdowns away from becoming the CFL's top career touchdown maker, has come of age with not one, but two nicknames - and this is what you'd expect from a guy who remains both fit and funny at an age (37) when most football players are having body parts refitted.
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The first moniker is Quatre-vingt cinq, which is French for "the hat of my aunt." Actually, it translates to 85, which is Stegall's jersey number and a play on Chad Johnson's National Football League nom de plum, Ocho-Cinco, Spanish for "great receiver on lousy team."
Stegall's other nickname is Chocolate Milt. His college teammates at Miami of Ohio first laid that on one him eons ago, back when Stegall hadn't a clue where Winnipeg is. These days, Chocolate Milt is back in vogue and the biggest story to the start of the 2007 CFL season.
Beginning with Thursday's game against the Edmonton Eskimos, Stegall needs one touchdown to tie legendary running backs George Reed and Mike Pringle, who each scored 137 times in their careers, and two to stand alone as the ultimate touchdown beagle.
Given the fact covering Stegall on a football field is as easy as keeping tabs on his many nicknames, there's every reason to think the record will fall quickly, maybe even in the first game or two.
While addressing the media yesterday in a telephone conference call with Reed, Stegall offered no grand predictions or headline-grabbing promises, except to say he would not emulate Cuba Gooding Jr.'s touchdown celebration in the movie Jerry Maguire.
"I'm too old for that," Stegall said.
Better to save himself for the party afterward, right?
"I'll probably take the whole offence out for some good healthy carrots," Stegall answered, "and prune juice."
Carrots and prune juice. Those could be his next two nicknames.
Stegall's heroics over the years are the result of contributing factors - his savvy, his athleticism and his ability to play with injuries and avoid bone-breaking setbacks. He's also benefited from an era far different than Reed's; a time when CFL teams are prone to throwing the football more so than running it.
That's helped spawn an interesting debate as to which feat is greater - a running back being the CFL's top career touchdown scorer or a receiver?
"You can argue both ways," Stegall said. "This is a passing league. I am going to get opportunities. You take advantage of your opportunities and your skies can be the limit."
Reed said his Saskatchewan Roughriders of the 1960s and early 1970s could both run and pass and it comes down to what kind of offensive system a team wishes to employ. Even then, Reed said, "it's still a tough thing to put it into the end zone."
In other words, times change; talent and determination persevere.
Of the many touchdowns he scored, Reed has a few favourites, mainly the one that secured Saskatchewan's victory in the 1966 Grey Cup. He admitted he has given away much of his memorabilia, but has yet to fumble his record-setting footballs.
As for Stegall, he said the record-tying ball will go to the Blue Bombers' organization while the record breaker will stay with him, his wife, Darlene, and their son, Chase.
"This year, I've decided to just cherish every moment and soak it all in," he said. "More than likely, this year is my last year. This year, I'm going to be happy about everything."
Should he set the record and win the Grey Cup, Stegall would be sailing through the uprights of joy. Once again, he stated he would willingly spend the entire season on the injured reserve list if it guaranteed Winnipeg a CFL championship.
Of course, the Blue Bombers will take their chances with Quatre-vingt cinq, the receiver formerly known as Turtle Man, in the lineup driving defensive backs batty. It's what he does and soon we can say no one has done it better.
Your thoughts, Mr. Milt?
"The last time I was out of shape was when my mother had me, and that was her fault," he said.
Told you prune juice could be next.
Stegall in a nutshell
Born Cincinnati.
Age 37.
CFL experience Entering 13th season, all with Winnipeg Blue Bombers.
Highlights Six-time CFL all-star and seven-time divisional all-star; he had 79 catches for 1,269 yards and scored on 100-yard touchdown catch to beat Edmonton Eskimos on final play of game last season; needs one touchdown to tie running backs George Reed and Mike Pringle for most career touchdowns in CFL with 137; holds CFL record for most career touchdown receptions (133) and for most touchdown receptions in one season (23); CFL's most outstanding player in 2002.
Plans Retire after this season.
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