Fast four-by-fours. Now there's a contradiction, surely? But no, a quick scroll through the sport-utility vehicle listings reveals a handful (and that's not an incidentally employed word) of mega-horsepower, asphalt-wrinkling, gas-consuming and often hugely fun, in some not-very-politically-correct ways, vehicles those words describe nicely.
But, you ask, aren't SUVs meant to be sturdy overgrown station-wagon-type vehicles designed for the dual purpose of carrying families and their "active lifestyle" belongings along highways en route to wholesome adventures in the wilderness? Haven't their creators struggled to retain their plodding and grinding off-road capability while providing them with on-road characteristics that won't make them too actively prone to killing their occupants? Where does fast come into this? And why?
Good questions. Don't expect sensible answers.
My first interesting experience with a fast four-by-four occurred a couple of years ago, when I arrived at a sweeping uphill lefthander on some proving-ground road course in the Deep South at the wheel of BMW's 4.6i. This was the first of the wrong-way-round -- pavement performance uber-off-road ability -- hot-rod SUVs.
A number of things relating to "fast" began to occur in a rapidly compressing time frame. I realized, hey, this thing can really accelerate; we're going really fast here. I was then very fast to jump on the brake pedal but realized just as quickly that I had to start turning into the corner pretty fast.
A whole lot of other stuff went on at a very fast rate for a few seconds -- including the row of orange cones becoming dunce-cap shaped projectiles -- but I eventually scraped around, still on the pavement. Legendary racer Stirling Moss once said that to understand what the word fast means, try taking a 30-mph corner at 31 mph. I now understood.
This introduction to street-fast four-by-fours has left me a little chary of them. While there's something kind of neat about accelerating rapidly and generally charging around in something as big as these things, I can't help a vague sense that there is something intrinsically not right about it either.
I'm sure a number of you believe SUVs aren't about speed, they're about utilitarian things, such as hauling buddies and gear and towing a boat.
There are a number of SUVs with big horsepower and loads of torque and while they can accelerate hard, they are mainly aimed at load-carrying and trailer-towing. What we are talking about here are those that can handle and stop as well, sort of like overgrown sports sedans. SUVs built to go fast, in other words.
BMW was the first to modify an SUV with handling and braking commensurate with its engine performance with the X5 4.6i. Its current road-sport SUV is the X5 4.8is, which is powered by a 4.8 litre double-overhead-cam V-8 producing 355 hp at 6,200 rpm and 369 lb-ft of torque at 3,500 rpm. It can accelerate to 100 km/h in 6.1 seconds and top speed is governed at 246 km/h.
The suspension has been tweaked, the front brakes upgraded and it sports 20-inch wheels shod with 275/40R20 performance tires up front and 315/35 R20s at the rear. It needs plenty of grip to keep its 2,275 kg adhered to the pavement when pushed by all that power. The X5 4.8 lists for $96,500.
Perhaps the most unlikely and outrageous of these vehicles is the Mercedes-Benz military-style G-55 AMG Gelandewagen. This looks a bit like a Brinks truck, but goes something like a Corvette thanks to a 5.5-litre, single-overhead-cam V-8 equipped with a supercharger that puffs up its power to 469 hp at 5,500 rpm accompanied by 516 lb-ft of torque at 2,800 rpm.
Prodigious comes immediately to mind, as this amount of power can shift even this 2,460-kg-plus rhino from beady-eyed threatening stare to full 100 km/h charge in about 5.7 seconds.
Suspension and braking system upgrades plus 18-inch wheels and road-roller-width tires help, but nothing is going to make it deal gracefully with this amount of power. To accelerate this quickly in something this heavy will cost you $152,450 and keep your gas card ready because it is force-fed fuel at the rate of 19.8 litres/100 km city and 15.1 L/100 km highway.
A bit less expensive at $125,650 is the Porsche Cayenne Turbo. This SUV has generated huge angst amongst some of the world's Porschephiles, but also profits so the execs in Zuffenhausen are just shrugging and telling them to get over it. The Cayenne is based on the Volkswagen Touareg, but a wave or two of Porsche's magic wand has wrought some changes.
The Turbo's engine bay is filled with a 4.5-litre, twin-cam V-8 engine that belts out 450 hp at 6,000 rpm and 460 lb-ft of torque at 2,250 rpm with six-speed manual or automatic gearboxes available. This one will get to 100 km/h in a tick over five seconds, and out-handle and outrun just about anything in its weight category.
You'll have to wait a couple of months for the last of our fabulously fast four, Land Rover's new-for-2006 Range Rover Sport.
This rather untraditional, road-oriented Range Rover is designed for "drivers" and will boast a supercharged version of Jaguar's 4.2-litre V-8 producing 390 hp and 410 lb-ft of torque. No performance figures or pricing yet.
Why? You're still asking. Well, it's all about boys (mainly) and their toys, after all is said and done. If you build it, no matter what, somebody will always want to make it go faster than God and the sensible application of physics dictate.
