Victor: Hi there, dreamgirls. I hereby call to order the Globe Panel for MakeÖ Astute Predictions, Wild Guesses Plus Gratuitous Asides About Glorious Academy of Motion Pictures' Shortlist of Proposals for Greatness. Ms. Schneller, want to start us off? Among all the big-name nominations, did one stand out to you as especially inspired, undue, or otherwise strange (aside from that weird lineup of finalists for best sound mixing: What was that about?)
Johanna: Well, the list isn't terribly surprising, is it? Seven for Babel, six for The Queen, five for The Departed, four for Little Miss Sunshine and three for Little Children. Pan's Labyrinth getting six nods — now, that is surprising. And inspired. But put your money on this: Scorsese will finally get his golden man for The Departed.
Victor: I think he should get it for acting. After many years of trying, he seems to have utterly finessed the role of Eugene Levy channelling Groucho Marx.
Johanna: Helen Mirren will be regal, and Jennifer Hudson [Dreamgirls], the one person on this list who absolutely cannot act, will go on the Pia Zadora list of infamy. I don't think I'll be able to watch if she wins an Oscar over Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal; I think I'll have to leave the room.
Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat (Matt Sayles/AP)
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Elizabeth: I don't think you have to worry about a surplus of Ms. Hudson, Johanna. I foresee Beyoncé — who was snubbed by the Academy — throttling her rival with an ostrich-feather boa and then hiding the corpse under her glorious weave. Dreamgirls has yet to open over here in the land of the real Queen, but I suspect it's no Mahogany. (Now there was an oversight: Diana Ross nominated for Lady Sings the Blues, but not the fantabulous Mahogany? I ask you.)
Victor: I kind of liked Hudson's bravura belt-it-out performance. My problem with Dreamgirls was that I just couldn't buy that this would ever happen in real life — where you'd have a sixties Motown girl group in which the gal with the great voice but plain face and fat behind (I'm told the technical term is with "a lot of junk in her trunk") gets shunted aside by the tinny-sounding but svelte and pretty one, who goes on to launch a fabulously successful solo career. As a plot, it just seemed far-fetched, even by Hollywood standards.
Johanna: I think Hudson shrieks rather than sings her big number, but what do I know? I thought Brad Pitt would be nominated for Babel, Sacha Baron Cohen for Borat, that Daniel Craig deserved a nom for Casino Royale, and that Leonardo DiCaprio got nominated for the wrong movie (I think he was way better in The Departed than he's getting credit for).
I also think that Blanchett's role in Notes on a Scandal was a lead part, while Forest Whitaker's in The Last King of Scotland was a supporting one. For my money, Children of Men is the best-directed movie of the year, but Alfonso Cuaron didn't get a nomination.
Victor: Possibly because his freak-laden cast (my favourite was the cloaked, hook-nosed WitchiepooÖ character who helped Clive Owen dodge bullets near the end) deserves the Oscar for most irritating ensemble performance. As for the directors' shortlist, I don't think Stephen Frears should be getting any thanks for The Queen, which had great acting but felt like it should have debuted on Channel 4. It was one movie this year where I supported the soldiers but definitely not the war.
Johanna: But Victor, look at Cuaron's filmmaking in Children of Men — those long, fluid takes, so you always know where you are in time and space. How everything in the frame is meaningful and furthers the story. But alas, I am whistling into the wind. I am totally thrilled, though, that Dreamgirls isn't a best-pic nom. It was grating cheese, with two leads whose eyes are blank, and terrible songs (despite their three absurd nominations). But mostly I'm shocked — shocked! — at how overlooked Volver was.
I think Pedro Almodovar should have gotten a writing and a directing nomination — and usually the Academy loves him. Go figger.
Elizabeth: Okay, Johanna, I'm afraid it's Bic pens at dawn. Do you really think Brad Pitt should be nominated for Babel? I thought it was a one-note performance in a half-note film. Although the makeup artist who gave him those Wrinkles of Profound Sorrow deserves a prize.
