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Protect your friend's feelings with a copy cat

DAVID EDDIE

From Tuesday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 7:29 PM EDT 11/07/07

If you lose your pal's cat, lie like a rug ...Read the full article

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  1. Thumb Sucker from Toronto, Canada writes: The solution to this problem is as follows:

    Person A: "I have bad news, your whole family died"

    Person B: "OH NO! sobbb cryyyy"

    Person A: "No no, don't worry, your family is fine - except for your cat"

    Person B: "Thank goodness for that"
  2. margaret gunning from Canada writes: This is the worst advice I've ever heard. Surely it's meant as a joke. ANY pet owner would be able to tell the difference. My bet is that both the letter and the response are fabricated, to give the columnist a little time off from thinking in the summer (when everyone's brain turns to mush). Shame.
  3. H K from Winnipeg, Canada writes: You've got to be kidding me. How disrespectful of a friend can you be to try and pull a fast one like this? Or is it because the friend is a woman that you don't think she can handle the truth? Even if you have to lie about something recently happening to the cat to cover up years of pretending it was still alive - that's eminently better than perpetuating the lie. I speak from experience: I can handle the cold hard truth - because sh!t happens - what I can't handle is some lout who treats me like an emotionally-immature child by lying to me.
  4. Ellie K from Canada writes: This is real dumb dumb advice. First this person, entrusted with a cat, loses the cat, an act of carelessness that gets it killed. He has the animal for three months, it's dead. This bodes ill for future Fluffies.

    So the advice is... go and get yourself another one! Not so you can provide a loving home to a homeless animal, but so you can continue lying to your friend!

    The moral of the story is... some people should have animals, some should not. And some people should dole out advice (like very, very few), and others SHOULD NOT!
  5. J S from Canada writes: That is really stupid advice. Does the guy want another cat? Pets are a big commitment in time and expense and should only be acquired when someone really wants something that is going to be with them for over ten years. You shouldn't get a pet just so that you don't look like a liar. If the guy doesn't want to fess up about how long the lie has been going on, tell the friend that Fluffy just died. If the friend asks to see pictures of Fluffy, he's screwed but at least another cat won't be.
  6. Miles Stanley from Canada writes: Dont' try to fool a true cat lover - Your friend will somehow know that the cat you are presenting as "Fluffy" is not the real "Fluffy". It's time to tell the truth... the cat went out "a while ago" and never came back. This is essentially true, just remember to be vauge on the details.

    I've used a similar excuse under similar circumstances and it worked quite well.

    Good Luck
    Miles in Richmond Hill
  7. Sean L. from Toronto, Canada writes: Who gives a person a pet as a gift? A pet is not a product to buy and give away like some christmas sweater that ends up in the bottom of your drawer - a pet ownership entails responsibility, and selecting a pet is a personal decision.

    What are they worried about - that they will appear unresponsible or just unsatisfied about the gift in the first place.

    I would have chided the writer for fabricating an elaborate lie about a simple problem. Cats run away all the time. The only time you might want to shield someone from the unfortunate car incident is if you are talking to a very young child.

    If the writer lacked the character to say that they did not want the pet when it was given, they can conveniently "whitewash" the truth. They can honestly say the cat ran off and did not return - they can omit the "running over by a car" incident as extra uneeded detail. As they did not have the guts to tell this when it happened, they should also omit the timeline from the story.

    Buying a look-a-like cat to continue the fabricated story is just unethical.
  8. Don Currie from Canada writes: "THATS'S NOT FLUFFY"! "Yes it is, I swear it is". "YOUR A LIAR, WHERE IS THE REAL FLUFFY"? Gone but not forgotten................
  9. Erika Fecteau from Gatineau, Canada writes: This is the stupidest advice I've ever heard! Are you kidding me? Get another pet to replace Fluffy? What if the guy doesn't want a cat? He can't just "borrow" one and take it back when he's done with it.

    My advice is to say that Fluffy ran away or got hit by a car recently. "Recently" would be the only white lie...
  10. elle ryker lychkova from montreal, Canada writes: this was absolutely horrible advice. everybody above pretty much summed it up:

    1. lying to your friend is bad.
    2. lying to cover up your irresponsibility is worse.

    3. getting a copy cat for the sake of covering up your lie is even more irresponsible, because:

    4.animals are living creatures, this isn't a broken dish you are talking about. living creatures need constant love and attention - i noticed there was no suggestion about what should be done after the friend leaves and the cat is no longer needed/wanted...

    tell the friend you are sorry, but the cat ran away a while ago and you didn't know how to tell them because you knew they'd be very upset. skip the part about the poor thing getting hit by a car, the mental image and consequent anguish are completely unnecessary.
    leaving it at the 'ran away' point at least allows the friend the comfort of imagining that her baby is safe and warm in some kind stranger's home...
  11. Ken Ohrn from Vancouver, Canada writes: What immature, pathetic and deceitful advice.

    It sounds like 5 bad minutes from some dreadful sitcom. So dreadful, in fact that I think I'll drop it from my viewing (... er ah... reading) list.
  12. janet howard from Rose Blanche, Newfoundland, Canada writes: It is exactly the right thing to do. A friend of mine foisted a similar cat on her 94-year-old mother after having to euthanize her cat because of cancer, and since the mother's eyesight was far from what it was in her youth she never knew the difference. When she remarked that the cat wasn't paying attention to her at first, my friend said, well, that's to be expected, he's been at the vet's for a week. This cat outlived the mother and continues to enjoy a loving home.
  13. GlynnMhor of Skywall from Canada writes: The original problem was lying about the demise of the first cat. basically one could take the advice given here and get another one, or 'fess up right away.

    Getting another cat offers the very real possibility of never having to admit the first one died. If the old Fluffy had been a kitten ('too young to be running around...') then the friend is unlikely to be able to recognize the switch unless the new cat were quite different from the old.

    The fact that you've gone to extraordinary lengths not to sadden your friend should count for a great deal if an apologetic explanation ends up being necessary after all.

    This assumes, of course, that you like cats and want another one anyway. If you hate cats, then you ought to confess and not put another poor wee creature through the same misery that Fluffy suffered.
  14. ginny ! from Canada writes: this is stupid. and clearly the advice of someone who's never had a cat of their own.
  15. Bat Man from T.O., Canada writes: Thankfully pets are a renewable resource.
  16. Amy H. from Toronto, Canada writes: I say Fluffy is an outdoor cat who simply doesn't happen to stop in while your friend is over. Leave a dirty saucer on the back porch as proof he came home to eat last night. Open the door and call Fluffy. Express minor annoyance that the beast never comes when called. (Note this won't work if your friend had Fluffy de-clawed).
  17. paul childs from camelot, writes: Reminds me of the joke: a man called Percy lives with his Mom and his cat Tibbles. Percy's boss talks him into taking his first vacation so away he goes, leaving big brother Sid to look after Mom and Tibbles. Percy calls home after 2 days away:

    Percy: Sid, it's me Percy. How is everything?
    Sid: Wot? Okay I guess.
    P: How's Tibbles?
    S: Tibbles is dead. Hit by a truck.
    P: What, how, oh my god..........couldn't you find a better way to tell me that?
    S: Like wot?
    P: Well, you could tell me he was playing on the roof like a naughty cat, and something happened, and he got hurt, so you took him to the vet, and then after a few days of telling me the vet was working hard and he was fighting to hang on, he slipped away in his sleep.
    S: Oh.
    P: Well, how's Mom.
    S: Mom.........Mom was playing on the roof.....

    Tibbles is dead. Own up to it.
  18. Johnny Red from Canada writes: Haha the only thing better than the advice is all the prudes on this comment board harping on it!

    My only addition would be for Mr. Accidentally-Killed-The-Cat to set up a video camera to YouTube the reaction.
  19. S G from A Happier Place, Canada writes: I am about to go on vacation tomorrow, leaving my cat to an inexperienced cat-sitter for 3 weeks. Bad timing to read this article tonight. Gulp!
  20. Ek Balam from Toronto, Canada writes: The letter writer will probably end up getting a pregnant female instead of a male. That's going to be a lot harder to explain to the original owner.
  21. miss gamaliel from toronto, Canada writes: Oh.My.God. And to think I had a moment of disappointment in myself for failing this writer's weird quiz. No more!
    Catless Guy: your odds of finding a lookalike cat that will fool the original owner are slim to none. And you will look like an enormous moron for trying. Please ignore this hilarious advice and go with a softened but basically truthful story about Fluffy's disappearance.
    Then, as penance, DO adopt a cat from a shelter, love it dearly and care for it all the days of its natural life, and at least your friend will see that you are not a total jerkwad.
  22. Michael Tripper from Vancouver, Canada writes: my cats are my family - anyone attempting to fake one would simply set me off and I'd probably end up charged with assualting the idiot and spend time in a serious jail - my guys are my catsons!

    think of them as the other person's kids and the correct moral answer should be obvious or at least discernible in all cases.

    you should have come clean right from the get-go - you're an **shole for not saying anything then and there's no way to sugar-coat that. I mean accidents happen - "He got out accidently and..."
  23. Frank Dixon from Toronto, Canada writes: Is is just me, or is New Life in the Globe (tm) suffering some serious quality control issues? If he hadn't been executed yesterday, you'd almost think that the guy who used to run China's drug approval bureau had moved on to a new career as a Life section editor.

    Maybe instead of this crap they could spend their money on some more actual reporters, and fill the newspaper with some, you know, news.
  24. D S from Toronto, Canada writes: bad idea. It may work it may not, but the fact is you are repeating the behaviour that got you into this mess in the first place.
  25. robert quinn from Japan writes: Anyone that would leave a pet with someone else takes their chances. I have no problem with the writer's gambit except that it's too bothersome. Tell surfer girl the truth and save youself the effort of going to the animal shelter, or thinking about it for more than a second.
  26. Jenna H from London, Canada writes: While I can appreciate the cutesy tongue-in-cheek tone of this article, as a proud companion to two individualized, unique felines I have to admit that I find Mr. Eddie's assertion that "cats are all pretty much interchangeable" both insulting and ignorant. If that statement is true, then I venture that, shucks, all toddlers, teens, adults, and, yes, even dogs, are likewise interchangeable. It irks me that this "article" irks me so much--it is poorly written and falls flat in its attempt at humour...irony?--but I really think I ought to take a stand here: life is valuable; nothing is interchangeable. If we take on this attitude, especially when it comes to dependent creatures, we risk extending this callous behaviour to the more "important" (for lack of a better word) members of society: our families, friends, and neighbours.
  27. Carolyn Perkes from Canada writes: Quite simply, the author of this article thinks it is okay to lie. Says it all. Carolyn
  28. Peter Cromerovich from Erehwon, Canada writes: I am so glad this dull, shallow, dishonest author is not an advisor on matters of state, medical procedures or nuclear power safety.
  29. A D from Canada writes: "My bad"? The cat gets run over and this guy can only say "my bad"? Not "I screwed up", or something similar. Hard to get more calloused than that. This guy sounds like a real heel. Not someone that I, or anyone else for that matter, would want as a friend, all the rest of the lying aside.
  30. Brian Dell from Alberta, Canada writes: Col. Jessep [Jack Nicholson]: You want answers?
    Lt Kaffee [Tom Cruise]: I think I'm entitled.
    Col. Jessep: You want answers?
    Lt Kaffee: I want the truth.
    Col. Jessep: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
  31. Cold Clear Water from Canada writes:

    Kudos, Brian Dell from Alberta, I love that scene and that film. David Eddy is instinctively dishonest: “You should make a clean breast of it, confess,” and so on, but my instincts say no." The Nick Nolte look-alike photo is the TP to go with what he shovels.

    At least Anthony E. Wolfe seems honest and can write, though about parenting as snippets and bandaids, I'm guessing for households with 2 working parents unable to cope with their offspring.

    Pass on both.
  32. Barry Kojima from Hamilton, ON, Canada writes: Did we forget the person gave the cat away in the first place? Wow! She must have really loved it then too!
  33. Kathleen Mortensen from Kitchener, Canada writes: As an owner of 4 felines, each with their own distinct appearance and personality, let me just say that there's no way you could pull this off with a true cat-lover!

    This would be comparable to losing someone's best friend in the jungle and coming home with someone else in the hopes of passing them off as the original. Good Luck!

    Take my advice: come clean. Your friend might be angry for a while, may never even speak to you again (I wouldn't), but at least you will have respected their intelligence and they can never fault you for that.

    A cat-lover in K-W
  34. Elisa Minakis from Toronto, Canada writes: "The plain truth of the matter is that sometimes we have to fly really low, under the radar, and perform acts that are a little bit naughty (if not downright wrong). This, I would suggest, is one of those times"

    You are sick. Seriously. You need help. Lots of it.

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