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'I really regret it. I really regret having children'

DOUG SAUNDERS

From Saturday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 12:13 PM EDT 29/09/07

French mom Corinne Maier regrets having children. And, more so, she has decided that other women ought not to have them, if they know what is good for themselves and for the world. ...Read the full article

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  1. D. Hall from Winnipeg, Canada writes: AF: To avoid embarrassing yourself further, go do some reading before posting such nonsense. It appears you are trying to make some racist snide comment, but I suppose you may just be incredibly ignorant and naive.

    As for this article and the book - I have no interest in advice or even humour fro a parent who lets children determine when and where they will eat and then thinks it reasonable to take them to a surrealist gallery on the way home. Reading their writings would be like stopping to stare at the grisly remains at a bad car wreck.
  2. campbell johnson from Victoria, Canada writes: AF was asking the same question that occured to me: it's implied that France wants more pure laine, so does the welfare handout apply to whites only or all babies born in France, regardless of color? This is a serious issue in Europe right now and it's an important policy question.
    And D Hall you appear to have missed the entire point of the book and the story. The author is calling for an end to Children Above All. She uses an incident where she let her kids call the tune, had her moment of clarity, and written a book about it. Are you sure you can read or did someone else summarize this story for you while you were having your morning meth hit?
  3. R Evans from Virden, Canada writes: Man. This woman sounds like a spoiled freak, who now has spoiled children freaks.

    Parenthood is a calling. This woman is defective in her spirit.
  4. C Paugh from NH, United States writes: Well, she (the author) did have a choice in a) becoming a parent, and b) letting her kids call the shots. She needs to grow up and become an adult. More pathetic whining from a country that has tried to raise it to an artform - and failed at that. Give this woman a self-help book or twenty, and a reality check instead of state welfare. Since when is racism a 'policy question'? - only if you are in Europe where the world view is everyone get along because its the only civilized way to behave, except for us since we are better than you - Europe (minus the UK) is still just as tribal as the third world, there is just better window dressing around it.
  5. steve allan from Welland, Ontario, Canada writes: The Globe and Mail gets it wrong.........again. Maier is not French, she's SWISS.

    Standards have really slipped at the Globe the last few years.
  6. Bob from Winnipeg from Canada writes: I wonder what her children think of their mother telling others not to have children. I'm sure they'll turn out well. I only wish Canadian culture celebrated mothers the way french culture does.

    This woman sounds like a selfish child herself. May she should have grown up before having children of her own.
  7. Edmond Dusablon from United States writes: Stop the Presses! Parenthood is terribly difficult. Who knew? Fortunately for most of us, our mothers and fathers were not as self-absorbed as this pathetic whiner and did their best even under trying circumstances. I feel bad for her kids. Can you imagine being their age knowing that your mother thinks your very existence is nothing more than a burden on her? The woman should be marinated in Prozac.
  8. black and white from canmore, Canada writes: well Ms Maier has certainly done well for herself...her book is a bestseller and I give her lots of credit..she has found a nice nest eggy (oeufy) niche for herself,one that has not been discovered, til now: '[slices] of unvarnished tedium' if I may quote the writer of this loathingly informative and much ado about nothing article....
  9. john wardle from vcr, Canada writes: The only people who shouldn't have children are all those countries with a population of over 1 billion. Totally irresponsible sods.
  10. MJ Patchouli from Regina, Canada writes: Well put, Mondo! I don't regret my own little turnips -- I love them, love seeing them as adults, even though they aren't living my dream for them. But that is not my right to demand, even as Mother! I am not living my parent's dream either, right?

    But the author is right about many of her statements, whether we all think it's cool to say aloud or not.

    There was an episode of Oprah years ago, when my kids were quite young, and the parents were all saying that they would not have had children had they known how difficult it was.

    It is difficult, but the rewards are there too. Overall, I'm very glad I had children.
  11. pete brazil from toranna, Canada writes: are the little turnips turning out to be good cheap labour on the farm?
  12. jay willard from Edmonton, Canada writes: What this world needs are less people like this self-absorbed French woman. She regrets having children then why on earth did she have so many. I regret that we have to endure people like her in our free society. Her outward appearance certainly does justice to the magnitude of her thinking...
  13. MJ Patchouli from Regina, Canada writes: One turnip recently served as good cheap labour on a farm in Bundaberg Australia.

    I doubt that even if we lived on a farm that the kids would work well for us.

    Never hire your own kids to do anything. They will work harder for others, and as I told my son when he was a teen, I'd rather he was paid from a pot of money that wasn't mine.
  14. Liz Doesit from Canada writes: Well one thing is for sure, kids can be real expensive! Just think of all the money that can be saved and or enjoyed not having any. How's that for selfish?
  15. gord winters from Canada writes: john wardle, you win. that was crazy.
  16. ELeGAnTly wASted from Canada writes: The first few lines of the article give it away: Mum (the author) and Dad were having an argument outside the museum - probably quite heated gallic nonchalance notwithstanding (try gallic moodiness instead) AND in all likelihood in front of the children.

    Mummy, you have the children you deserve. But be grateful, in having spoiled them (in the true sense of the word), their existence still managed to make you money. Making money from your own failings. Bravo.
  17. Dave Pasquill from Cumberland, Canada writes: I am sure glad I am not that woman's children. They will grow up knowing that their mother wishes they did not exist. Sounds like she is a thoughtless and inconsiderate person to do that to her kids. And it sounds like she has thoughtless and inconsiderate children.

    Coincidence?

    The pleasant irony is that she is making her children monsters but at least she has to deal with them. The unfortunate part is that so do the rest of us. Please stop writing advice and start learning about parenting to create decent people.
  18. N Witen from Montreal, Canada writes: Actually, I think the comments on this board kind of prove her point about how much 'brainwashing' (mostly for the point of capitalism but also politically) is now infused into parenthood. Truthfully, to all women, how many of you come to the realization that you had children just because it felt like the right time (not that they aren't wanted, nonetheless?) I think Maier is trying to say that you should go into parenthood with your eyes wide open (few do) and you should have them because YOU genuinely want them. That's not a bad policy though her way of expressing said policy is a bit disingenuous.
  19. Might makes right? from Toronto, Canada writes: Yes, being a parent is often arduous and can be galling. In all likelihood however, Corinne Maier will do a complete 180 in her thinking probably in the next 10-20 years. That is, if and when she becomes a grandparent.
  20. Jim Cohoon from Chilliwack, Canada writes: The article reminds of me of a quote from Robert Bly: 'The increasing dislike of human beings by human beings concentrates itself in the current neglect of children. Perhaps this is the first time in human history that children, en masse, have picked up the idea that they are not wanted, not needed.' The resulting 'adult' climate of moral apathy and nihilism represents a festering tragedy for the young. Or as Hillary Clinton observed in 'It takes a Village': 'Everywhere we look, children are under assault: from violence and neglect, from the breakup of families, from the temptations of alcohol, drugs and sex, from greed, materialism and spiritual emptiness.' All of which has consequences, as Bruno Bellelheim saw: 'Whenever the older generation has lost its bearings, the younger generation is lost with it.'
  21. John L. Murlowe from Colony of Vancouver Island, Canada writes: 'We really regret it. We really regret having parents,' Laure and Cecil
  22. John L. Murlowe from Colony of Vancouver Island, Canada writes:
    I am sure my parents regretted have children, especially me, but they always loved me and would never campaign against others having children.
  23. No use for a name from Toronto, Canada writes: I'm glad I had children - are they trouble? Yes. Are there days when I wish I didn't have them? Of course, what parent doesn't have those thoughts.

    People should know what they are getting into before they have children.

    But the positives far outweigh the negatives.
  24. Christal Watson from Canada writes: She does seem rather a whiner. Sure, it's not easy having kids, but maybe, just MAYBE it'd be easier if she'd act like a parent and set the limits. Sheesh. I have two offspring and while they're challenging (they're only little still and destined to become MORE challenging) the positives definitely outweigh the broken sleep, broken dishes, Lego-strewn floors, and parent-teacher meetings. Sack up, lady.
  25. john wardle from vcr, Canada writes: Learn to think for yourself Gord Winters instead of being afraid of, and thus blindly following, status quo thinking.
  26. John L. Murlowe from Colony of Vancouver Island, Canada writes: '... the two of us thought ...to see an exhibition on Belgian surrealists. Once inside the museum, the children began to be awful.' Laure said that the exhibition was 'bullshit.' Cecil began to scream, so Yves took him outside. 'And I started yelling at him for this: 'Why aren't you more strong with him?' And we began to argue. We didn't see anything. And at that point, I thought, 'I really regret it, I regret having children.' '
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    The havoc that the Belgian realists have created among families is world-renowned.
  27. Jessica Rafuse from Canada writes: I think she hits on an important theme, that the idealization of parenthood and children is somewhat delusional.

    But for her to extrapolate her own insecurities and dissapointment (that she largely could have caused) to create such a message that children are the end all to the good life is ridiculous.

    I don't think she was asked tough enough questions. I feel like this article celebrates her bizarre conclusions, instead of challenging them.
  28. Dan H from Alta, Canada writes: Corinne Maier is a sad, selfish, self-absorbed and pathetic person.

    After reading the first page of the story I kind of assumed that she would be a feminist, socialist, or government employee; as it turned out she was all three. She expects to live a perfect life without her having to experience work or difficulty, and without regard to the people that ultimately do the work that supports her life of privilege. And in true socialist fashion, she wishes she didn't have children so this becomes justification for a crusade to stop others from doing so. Whether Mrs. Maier likes it or not motherhood is beautiful and, in my opinion, it should be valued because of its importance, sacrifice and difficulty.
  29. A F from Canada writes: AF: To avoid embarrassing yourself further, go do some reading before posting such nonsense. It appears you are trying to make some racist snide comment, but I suppose you may just be incredibly ignorant and naive.

    D. Hall: Thank you for your candid comments, but I am neither embarrassed nor naive to think that this pressure to increase the French population is completely innocent. I have been to Europe, and I can assure you that regardless of your personal views, this subject permeates many European societies and is on the minds of many of its citizens.

    Additionally, I have done some reading - I read the article. Have you? The article itself insinuates that racial concerns may underlie France's obsession with human reproduction.

    DIRECT QUOTES....

    ....a national celebration with distinctly racist overtones erupted last year when that fertility rate reached the stable-population point of 2.1 children per mother, making France the continental European leader in fecundity. Upon the loins of the Frenchwoman, the weight of a nation.....

    .....Indeed, this year's presidential campaigns were almost obsessively aimed at the merdeuf brigades, with both candidates hinting in their speeches that a fertile nation could keep the brown-skinned hordes at bay......

    My first post only asks a follow-up question to the issues brought forth in the article. Given this desire to increase the population of only a certain segment of society, how is the 1,000 euros/month allocated and distributed amongst society? I was only wondering if, and how, the French government was managing to use this policy to their advantage. At face value, the notion is both unethical and probably illegal, so I was interested in how this policy is carried out in France.
  30. A F from Canada writes: D. Hall: I would also like to extended your invitation to do some more reading to yourself. A review of World History and Civilizations will likely reveal that the use of population growth as an economic and political tool is neither new nor isolated to a particular time or society.

    DIRECT QUOTE......Upon the loins of the Frenchwoman, the weight of a nation.....

    This quote and its numerous variations have been said before.

    Finally, the political aspects of the article were the parts that jumped out at me. I am in a profession that deals with policy and the (sometimes uneven) allocation of finite resources. Therefore, you will understand why I have picked a somewhat small detail (of the article) to explore.
  31. James Cyr from Balmertown, Ontario, Canada writes: If she wants to regret having children, that is her prerogative. She has no right recommending or trying to dictate what other women want to do.
  32. Jennifer Rollison from Canada writes: I am sure glad she's not my Mum....what a horrible woman...
  33. Jimmy K from Toronto, Canada writes: First, France is up to 2.1? Wow.

    Secondly, this woman was an only child. Spoiled, center of attention, never had to make any sacrifice for the feelings and needs of others. I am not surprised. Parents, don't have just one kid, they always end up messed up.
  34. Albin Forone from Toronto, Canada writes: Setting aside the problems that French Belgians ('Walloons') are having in the larger polity, this book seems to articulate in detail the not-particularly-startling insight that bourgeois intellectual Euros have been having problems for a couple of generations now in multiplying fast enough to replace themselves. In fact, the richer people become and the more they think think think about having babies the less likely they are to have them. Babies are most easily born to the thoughtless, for better or worse. Maybe (I'm serious here) better.
  35. Former Prairiedog from Vancouver, Canada writes: A sarcastic hurray for those drawn into committing the ultimate 'genetic imperative'. It seems a much more civilised thing, however, to decide when enough is enough people in the world. Why do we have all these resource scarcity issues and global climate change staring us in the face? It's because we're (reproductively) acting like insects.

    (As an aside, I'm surprised no one has brought up Jacques Parizeau's remarks after losing the last referendum. Or Lucien Bouchard's statement that 'White women should have more white babies.')
  36. Greg Smith from Canada writes:
    As for a 10 year old screaming at the museum, likely a product of their mother and father's neglectful and regretful parenting.

    I've never read her book, but I too regret her having children.
  37. bj sutherland from Victoria, Canada writes: I think many of the posters who dismiss this woman as selfish do not want to acknowledge that many, many parents feel the same: men and women. I still remember how shocked people were years ago when 'Dear Ann' or was it 'Dear Abby' asked just such a question of women and the replies that the majority of women gave was that they regretted have had children. This world is overpopulated. Individual women of any race should not be pressured into giving birth. There will be plenty who will decide in the affirmative to keep humanity going until other reasons destroy us.
  38. xxx xxxx from Victoria, Canada writes: I married this woman (the updated childfree version) and I am so glad I did. Now I must read the book.
  39. BRIAN DUNPHY from new westminster, b.c., Canada writes: I regret that her mother had children.
  40. Kenneth Williams from Toronto, Canada writes: This book sounds like anti-child hate literature. The author is shallow, nasty and selfish. So what if there are many people who feel the same way... maybe that's why child abuse is so prevalent. I'm appalled.
  41. Eric Kuelker from Abbotsford, Canada writes: Let us lay out the logic here. Having children is proof of stupidity. Her mother had a daughter, Ms. Maier. Therefore, Ms. Maier is a living proof of stupidity.
    The irony is that her 'Me first' attitude and hostility to caring for others (even when it gets tough) winds up devaluing herself profoundly.
    On the flip side, we show how much we value something by how much we are willing to give up for it. I know I am valued because my parents gave up their freedom, time, money, and energy for me. In turn, they feel valued because I recognize and appreciate what they did for me. Thus, in laying down part of their lives, my parents have found life returning to them, both in my life, and my kids' lives. When Ms. Maier seeks to hold on to her life first, then she loses value in her own life.
  42. g h from Canada writes: I have four kids, or children, or turnips, or whatever. They and my wife are everything to me. End of story.

    MJ Patchouli: I like you.
  43. D M from Toronto, Canada writes: What a sad and pathetic woman.

    I wonder if her children regret having parents.
  44. Tom McMallow from Somewhere Beautiful, Canada writes:

    From the gushers entering her from her partner, has come a gusher of money entering her bank account. I think that's what this woman is really all about, and I guess that's fair.
  45. Bill Murtagh from Toronto, Canada writes: I think there will come a time, in the not too distant future, when the world, in order to survive, will enact laws limiting the number of children we produce. As we approach 8 billion, the planet is beginning to tell us that 'enough is enough.'
  46. French-Canadian Freethinker (Alain S.) from Bah Humbug, Canada writes: Many comments here are so typical of parents'. Their favourite keyword to describe people who don't want children is: 'selfishness'. Just a simple question here: why did you have children if not to please yourself for the short and longer term? (pointer: you will get old and someone will care for you... hmmm?) Just try to think about the whole concept of selfishness with honesty, people. Just try, please.
  47. campbell johnson from Victoria, Canada writes: The fact that the book is flying off the shelves is all the evidence you humorless breeders need that this woman is on to something.
    I hope I live long enough for scientists to invent retroactive abortion, so that the clueless teenagers, born of negligent parents, no longer walk, drink, pollute and graffiti my neighborhood.
    I'd like to see a government pay me for NOT burdening the school system with another dummy, the health care system with another snot-nose, and the public pools with another screaming ninny.
  48. Heidi Solberg Viar from United States writes: This is just one more example of the injustice of people like me who want children in their heart of hearts, knowing that parenting is not for wimps, but can't physically conceive them (and can't afford the high cost of adoption), and people who don't really want them getting them.

    I don't care what her point is. She gave copies of the book to her children. Won't they figure out at some point, if they haven't already, that she is writing about her regret in having them, no matter the reason? And her kids sound somewhat spoiled...whose fault is that? If you want good kids, you raise them to be good kids, you don't just expect them to come out of the womb saying 'please' and 'thank you' and 'may I' and accepting that you are in charge, not their best pal. If you've done your job right, and they end up acting like brats, then it's their own fault.

    And I don't necessarily think the whole thing is about the 'infantophile' culture of France--read again about the story of taking the kids out to eat and then to an art exhibit. It is more than 'I expected parenthood to be better'--it is 'I really wish I hadn't had these kids so I can spend my life being selfish and doing what *I* want.'
  49. Paul Rogers from Canada writes: What is being missed here is why people have children. The reasons for having children has changed dramatically over time. Formerly children were a necessity to help on the farm/business/family income and to care for the parents in old age. Now, they're optional, primarly desired for emotional fulfillment. So the reasons to have children are selfish, as they always have been, just for different reasons. If the justification is emotional, its bound to be regretted at times, when the burden of caring for children appears to out-weigh the emotional benefits of having them - as any honest parent will attest. Its hardly a wonder that the birthrate has dropped so much recently.
  50. Rae Vandenberg from Canada writes: The problem I have with comments like this author's branded as 'feminism' is that the comment comes from a woman who has a powerful career that pays lots of money and is something she's put many years into preparing for.
    Not all women have this kind of lifestyle. Most women work at low-paying jobs without a lot of authority. Frankly, I'd much rather have children and be master of my own boat than a cog in the wheel for some employer. The rewards are greater.
    Yes, if you're a professional woman, then perhaps having children is something you might not have time nor patience for. Like the woman in this article, you might have other priorities.
    However, most woman want balance in their lives. They also have a more balanced view in accepting the imperfections of their children. I know for certain at my death bed I won't be surrounded by the work I've done but by the family I've created.
  51. Mike Z from Canada writes: This woman is a bitter, disenfranchised person wallowing in her own misery and demanding that everyone else join her in the muck. I would suggest that she get some counseling, but I suspect that as a Psychiatrist, she would rather just take a pill and forget her problems for a while. Sad really, but mostly for the children.
  52. M Liggins from Perth, Canada writes: D. Hall from Winnipeg - your supercilious tone belies an arrogance that is undeserved by those you level it at, and unearned based on a review of your post.

    While free speech is democratically protected, ad hominem argument is the last refuge of a weak argument.

    Consider a more cerebral approach......
  53. Carson Calder from Canada writes: Methinks the women of France, though perhaps entertained by this woman's book, will ignore her advice. She's found a way to make a few bucks and they no doubt will recognize a gimmick when they see it.
  54. Kathryn Morrison from Toronto, Canada writes: I think books like this need to be written, if only to give some contrasting opinions to a world where having kids is the norm and to not do so makes one 'selfish' or 'immature.' Having children is a personal choice - and personally, I'm grappling with it, though I've never heard any pursuasive reason to have children. Only 'It's worth it' or 'It just feels right' or 'We're meant to have children. It's what we're here for.'

    To me, most of the posts on this board can be equated with Tom Cruise's anti-Brooke Sheilds rant, saying she was a horrible mother, all because she DARE say that motherhood was a challenge!

    Shame on you all buying into the national ethos that motherhood is the only way! Lemmings!
  55. Farm Boy from Big City, Canada writes: steve allan - You can say that again! I'm pleased to see that I'm not the only one who has noticed.
  56. Paige Turner from United States writes: In reality, she's probably not the only one who thinks this way. Not everyone is cut out for motherhood - society makes it all seem that every female should be the perfect mother. Even those mothers who give and give sometimes just see their children up and go their own ways, seldom to return or give a fleeting glance backwards.
  57. Farm Boy from Big City, Canada writes: Corinne Maier is the ultimate expression of feminism. This is exactly what feminism is all about. I hope her children will exact some kind of revenge.
  58. CD W from orillia, Canada writes: Now it is time to wait for her to call upon the european governments to have retroactive abortion.

    Kidding aside,it seems she had no support from hubby or spouse or co partner or whatever. I think her real problem is that her kids dont play hockey! Nothing better than saturdays and sundays in the rink with other families watching the game. That way you get to discuss childrearing issues with others, who might have figured it out. But on one account she may be right, 'How sharper than a serpents tooth, the tongue of an ungrateful child'. I think this is the crux of parenting, someday, you have to tell your ungrateful little b@st@rds to get the hay out of the house and out of your life, if they truly are ungrateful for your sacrifices.
  59. Ken Cowan from Paris, France writes: Here in France there is an incredible baby boom happening. It is the only country in the E.U. which is having enough children to maintain a balance for the future. But hey, at 1000 Euros for each kid after the second one - it's probably worth it. Unfortunately, the kids here in France are rarely taught the meaning of the word 'no'. As kids, it seems as if they have the right to do anything and everything they want. This is rather new. A generation ago (before May 68...) the kids were highly controlled...now their parents raise them with very few boundaries, and it is the rest of the population that suffers. By the way - as far as I know, it is anyone who is in the country legally that is allowed the bounty of the French system. Which is why many pure laine complain - the typical African family will have at least 5- 8 children... the Arab families are not that far behind. But I somehow doubt the figures - because if they were getting that much financial help, they would not still be poor.
  60. Sharon G from Winnipeg, Canada writes: I am so tired of this debate. Who says parenting is a good idea for everybody? There is no single activity that is a good idea for everybody! I'm sure there are even some people out there for whom flossing their teeth is a bad idea. I have kids, and I love being a parent. Some people do, and hate it. Some people don't, and wish they did. So what? How is this news?
  61. robert quinn from Japan writes: You want to maintain a world-class 'free' healthcare system in perpetuity? Then you'll need a new generation of dupes to pay for it. All those childless socialists who cherish our vast and growing social safety net better get out there and start procreating asap. Otherwise, we'll end up with the American version of society: families locked away in poor houses when unable to pay their doctor's bills; abandoned babies begging for pablum; dogs noshing on the decrepit, denied benefits by their HMO. The horror, the horror...

    On the upside, in another 30 years, that same horrible Swiss shrike will be impregnated by some dusky-hued paramour, then slapped into a niqab and told to talk when spoken to. So the outlook isn't all grim.
  62. D A from Canada writes: 'They are people like me and you, and they fail, they do things you don't expect, they dream of things you don't even imagine, things that are pointless for you but not for them.'

    I've yet to make up my mind as to whether I want kids (being in a position to is a long ways off anyhow), but if I were to do so, it would be because of this rather than in spite of it.

    Who wants a clone of themselves, or worse, a puppet?
  63. happiness is just a flaming moe away from Canada writes: Dear God. This woman subjects 13 and 10 year old children to a night of Belgian Surrealism with ma and pa eurotrash, and she's wondering why life isn't turning out so swell?

    If dropped on a desert island with utterly nothing, the French would invent complaint eons before fire. This is just another low water mark.

    If I were her kids, I'd write my own book and call it '40 reasons to Hate Your Vapid, Mindless Parents.'
  64. Chris Lalonde from Singapore writes: 'I really regret it. I really regret having children' OMG! That's like saying it's better that my children weren't born! What kind of parent would say that even in humour? Some people shouldn't be parents and this lady is one of them! As some posters put it, sounds like a lazy, selfish & spoiled little brat!
  65. albert rose from Canada writes: Tough problem. You get kids, you're stuck with them, whether you meant to have them or not.

    Unfortunately, unlike a dog you've allowed to grow up untrained and don't want anymore, you can't take your kids to the SPCA.

    So, you better hit the ground running and if you ever give anything your all, raising your child should be it.

    Again unfortunately, so many parents don't rise to the occasion, and their kids must sink or swim.

    The children of this author would appear to be well on their way to sinking.

    How awful for them and their parents.
  66. D A from Canada writes: People in this comment section do seem to be missing her point, though.

    She may come off as bitter and selfish, but [i]her point isn't that having children is bad.[/i] If you think that's her point, you didn't read very closely and/or reacted in knee-jerk rather than a properly considered fashion.

    Her point is that France is encouraging people who may not be suitable or happy as parents to have children for entirely the wrong reasons, and that this is a bad idea.

    Which is a very good point. We are, as a species and a set of cultures, not really used to our relatively new high level of control over our reproduction, which used to require really harsh social structures to even begin to manage. Now that we have a practical choice over the choice over whether or not to become parents, we should certainly consider the idea that some people should, simply due to their talents and inclinations in the area of child-rearing, choose to have more children than others who would honestly not be happy with children.
  67. Alberto Bayo from Canada writes: Sounds like she thinks her yard-apes should be acting like adults. Hey, they're kids...and what kid is into Surrealist art? What kid wouldn't think it was garbage.
  68. Michael Crowell from Halifax, Canada writes: No amount of money and self serving pleasures life has to offer can replace seeing your children be happy and successsful. I have a son who is a Geologist and a daughter in 4th year University going to Medical School. My wife and myself's entire focus is ensuring they are happy and established to become productive Canadians willing to help others. Meanwhile 20,000 children in the world straved to death today while this woman belittles her children. I would bet the farm she is a Socialist. I feel sorry for her.
  69. James Young from Brantford, Canada writes: The species will survive, since the basic animal instincts will over=come most pop cult opinions. I don't think the lady's babblings will cause a decrease in population growth.

    As an aside, I wonder if 'an exhibition on Belgian surrealists' is as dull as a visit to 'Epcot'. No wonder the kids were upset.

    Durgan.
  70. happiness is just a flaming moe away from Canada writes: D.A.: You're far too tedious to exist, so please stop.

    The 'point' is that this idiotic woman figured that having kids would 'complete' her bottomless ego. She thought they'd be obedient, that they wouldn't see through her rank hypocrasy, and that for some reason, they'd respect her and tolerate her constant, continous judgement.

    And now, instead of accepting her kids the way they are and allowing them to develop into actual HUMAN BEINGS, she's whining and trying to paint herself as a victim.

    Yeah, so, being a parent didn't take her to the top of Mount Reason For Being. Was it supposed to!? Who said? This woman is a lousy parent who has utterly alienated her kids, who have every right to think for the rest of their lives that they own mother wishes that they weren't born.

    If there is any poetic justice left on this planet, this woman will be charged with child abuse.
  71. gargi ganguli from montreal, Canada writes: The comments on here are all too typical - just jump on the bandwagon and bash a woman for telling the truth. Not all women regret having kids, but many do - and frankly, most women who have kids are a hell of a lot less interesting than ones who don't. Few women of great talent and accomplishment have had kids (Austen, Bronte (s), Woolf, Eliot, O'Keefe, Kahlo, Arendt - none of these had kids).
  72. Bob McDonald from Canada writes: I don't think the world will be worse off if this kind of self-centered person doesn't have children. I'm worried though that this kind of selfishness seems more apparent amongst the educationed than the uneducated. Will the world really be overcome by the uneducated offspring of the illerate? From another viewpoint: This woman is sherking her duty to her ancestors! She wouldn't exist if it were not for their sacrifice and she has no apparent appreciation for their cumulatively enormous efforts - drowned as she is in her own petty, selfish little world. I thought she was more 'whiny' than the children!
  73. Peter Burns from New Zealand writes: I do wonder if the insane mother that wrote this garbage would be more appropriate as a patient in a psych ward , wearing a straight jacket and on psychotropic medications , as her comments are a disgrace to all mothers and children of the world .

    I have seen some nutbars in my time but this weirdo simply takes the cake .
  74. albert rose from Canada writes: I understand how one can at times regret having had children. But that is an unproductive sentiment. One should apply one's energies to making a suboptimal situation better.

    As for gargi, I don't think being 'interesting' has anything to do with with one's fecundity.
  75. D A from Canada writes: The article supports my position, not yours, 'happiness.' I may be boring, but I'm right.
  76. happiness is just a flaming moe away from Canada writes: D.A. -- the fact that you need an article to support your opinion doesn't make you right, it makes you an utter, mindless sheep. What would you do if the article was written in favour of the kids? Let me guess: you'd have a different opinion.

    And we wonder why democracy doesn't work.
  77. Chris Yang from Canada writes: Wow... to tell your kids that you regret having them, and recommending others not to have children. Why did she even bother being a mother then? Never heard of contraceptives? This woman makes me sick. If every women had this mentality, then our race would go extinct. However, if every woman turned out like her, it'd probably be for the best anyways. Maybe the kids were referring to their mother when they yelled out BS.
  78. albert rose from Canada writes: Point taken, Happiness. But for this to work all the time the assumption must that 1. Everybody has a perfect mastery of birth control and 2. Everybody knows ahead of time whether they will a. enjoy being a parent and b. be a competent parent... for a unique child they haven't made yet.

    I think the problem is people who become parents by choice or by chance, and just don't try hard enough.
  79. D A from Canada writes: Are you capable of anything but name-calling? You haven't presented a single actual argument against my position. You just accuse me of being boring, a sheep, and so forth.

    The contextual information presented in the article supports my position, not necessarily its slant (insofar as it has one, since it is an attempt to present news that is as distanced as possible from its authors positions, rather than raw opinion).

    The relevant context is a state-sponsored, national campaign to convince people to have children for what she thinks are the wrong reasons. Numerous examples of this campaign and its effects on fertility rates in the country, and it appears to be very successful. The fact that she had children to, in your own words, ''complete' her bottomless ego' she attributes to this campaign. It is pointed out again and again that she wrote the book in reaction to this campaign.

    You seem to realize that having kids for the wrong reasons is a bad idea, and you seem to agree with her opinion that she had kids for the wrong reasons. And yet you seem to think it's fine that French government and culture continue to promote having kids for these same flawed reasons. And yet you object to someone writing a popular and effective book pointing out that these are the wrong reasons and reminding people of the difficulties involved in being a parent.

    I may be a boring sheep, but I understand how to place information in its proper context, so I'm one up on you.
  80. D A from Canada writes: A good example of placing an argument in context is Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' Taken out of context, it's an argument for selling Irish children to be cooked and eaten.

    Placed in context, it's satire on the state of British rule of Ireland at the time of its writing, of the fashionable Political Economists of the era, and very specifically of Malthus' justifications of the suffering of the poor in early industrial Britain.

    Maier's book isn't satire per se. But like any work of writing that reacts specifically to its cultural and political environment, it needs to be understood in the context of that environment. Otherwise you end up thinking the Swifts of the world are monsters.
  81. John L. Murlowe from Colony of Vancouver Island, Canada writes:
    ON THE OTHER HAND...

    The lady's decision to have children may have beeN a result of peer pressure, parent pressure, spouse pressure or all three.

    There is a good chance her children won't have children. And I kind of feel sorry for her because she may come to realize she really loves children.

    However, this may all be moot because I have a sneaking suspicion the G&M has hacked up another hairball in the headline department.

    'I regret it, I really regret having read this story.'
  82. Red Ensign is our glory! Real Canadian pride! from Canada writes: same goes for whatever idiot wrote this and what editor allowed this crap to soil the pages of the globe and mail.
  83. CD W from orillia, Canada writes: It is worse in China, all of the little male children are called 'the little emperors'. They have been denied nothing, and now they come to north america for schooling and the trouble begins. Parenting is tough all over.
  84. CD W from orillia, Canada writes: And one more thing, they get to pick her nursing home!!!! hahahahaha
  85. The Mangemeister from Victoria, Canada writes: Getting pregnant is not all it's knocked up to be.
  86. THX 1138 from Victoria, BC, Canada writes: Excellent post by Edmond Dusablon from United States. There is no such thing as a free ride forever! That loony Ms Maier is a petulant, self-absorbed prima-donna the idiots in Hollywood make reality TV shows about these days.

    Another great reply by CD W from Orillia about her kids choosing her rest home one day.

    I'll quote Homer J. Simpson when whiny old Grandpa Abe Simpson is moaning about being threatened with being put in a rest room. Homer replies 'You're already in a rest home and maybe I'll put you in a EVIL rest home, like those shown on 60 Minutes'.

    ha ha ha.
  87. Tom Willette from Niagara Falls, Canada writes: If her tongue-in-cheek pronouncements give people of either sex pause before they decide to embark on the road to parenthood more power to her. Too many people have kids not because they want them but because they are too lazy or too stupid to prevent them. As for the government being involved in the baby raising business, I think that we should have some sort of say about who and how before we start writing cheques.
  88. Wasabi Jones from Canada writes: I wish this woman's mother had never had her.
  89. Dogman Smith from Halifax, Canada writes: Tom Willette from Niagara Falls; Right on- the future for this country is immigrants and a liberal (small 'l'') immigration policy.
  90. THX 1138 from Victoria, BC, Canada writes: Do you need some extra-strength Prozac, Ms. Maier? My parents had me and I know they don't regret it. I sure as hell don't regret raising a daughter, either. My parents taught me a lot, including manners, responsibility, hygiene, etc.

    Parenthood isn't glamorous or trendy. Get over yourself, Ms. Maier. Suck it up!
  91. Kim Morton from Canada writes: Just another whiner who thinks she knows what is best for everyone else.
  92. Luke R from Toronto, Canada writes: To A F: are you really that stupid? do you honestly believe that there is an official policy of racism in France (in the European Union). racism may be rampant in French society but it is not offical gov't policy. therefore, all French citizens (white or coloured) are entitled to that EUR 1000 for the 3rd child.

    As for this woman - she is a psychiatrist? her license should be taken away.
  93. french girl from T.O., Canada writes: It has to be cultural. I kind of understand her. You should see how children are considered in France, 'l'enfant roi': they are kings.
    The government (l'Etat) promotes birth in a way, but all benefits haven't changed for a while. And there is no racism behind this.

    I think her book is more funny than anything else. It's just a warning to not forget that since 1945 in France women have worked hard to get what they have today (work, independance...), to fight this 'Enfant roi' education and to say that no, definitively it's not like on TV, that's not easy to bring up a child.
    It's all about perfection, and social pressure as she says.

    And I don't feel this in Canada.
  94. A F from Canada writes: To Luke,

    No, I am really not that stupid. I think I have explained myself in two follow-up posts. Even I did not think it would be official policy in France, however it is never prudent to assume things. Plus, you'd be surprised at how many unjust things are implicitly encoded in policy.

    As I have already mentioned, I am in a profession that deals with policy and the allocation of scarce resources. Distribution of said resources is uneven and could therefore be seen as unfair.
  95. A F from Canada writes: To Luke, again.

    Yes, of course, racism would never be the official policy in France. However, there are many stipulations and conditions that can be imposed that could, IN EFFECT, distribute more resources to a certain segment of society over another.

    Although these things would not be explicitly stated in policy, the end result can sometimes be surprising similar to what was implicitly intended.
  96. S Varga from Canada writes: I have to admit the 'soccer mom' phenomenon in North America is definitely alive and well. I made a decision in my early 20s that I did not want children. I had disliked children since I was a child (didn't want a brother or sister, despised the thought of babysitting another's children, etc.). I made the choice to surgically ensure that no 'mistakes' could happen when I was 25. The doctor made it very difficult for me to go through this process as he was sure I would regret it. Almost every woman I knew felt the same. They all told me about how different it is when the child is yours, how wonderful motherhood was. However, my mother had been honest enough with me when I got old enough to understand (late teen, early 20s) that while I was loved and she was proud of me, I was born out of a feeling of obligation - that as a young wife it was her duty to have a child. She helped me understand that it was okay for me to dislike children, and it was okay for me to make the choice I knew was right for me. I am now in my late 30's, highly successful with a rich and full life. My husband and I are happy and enjoy the freedom that not having children affords us. Neither of us regets the choice we each made individually (neither of us wanted children before we even met). I feel sorry for the children out there who have been brought into this world because of a mistake, a sense of obligation or in order to get that bigger government cheque (such as the 1,000 euros in France). I would much rather see women make the choice I did, then to feel 'forced' into motherhood. I still have people tell me I must have a horribly empty life without children. However, I look around at the children in our society and am thankful I have made the choice I made, because if that is parenthood, you can all have it.
  97. A F from Canada writes: The ONLY reason why I've been thinking along these lines? The article itself.

    DIRECT QUOTES....

    ....a national celebration with distinctly racist overtones erupted last year when that fertility rate reached the stable-population point of 2.1 children per mother, making France the continental European leader in fecundity. Upon the loins of the Frenchwoman, the weight of a nation.....

    .....Indeed, this year's presidential campaigns were almost obsessively aimed at the merdeuf brigades, with both candidates hinting in their speeches that a fertile nation could keep the brown-skinned hordes at bay......

    Thank you Ken Cowan from Paris, France, for constructively addressing the issue and answerin