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Rise of the Swiffer man

PETER SCOWEN

From Thursday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 9:45 AM EDT 11/10/07

Peter Scowen dishes the dirt on how a single guy can tidy up his digs. All it takes is a little organization - and an armload of disposable products ...Read the full article

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  1. Grouchy Guy from Victoria, Canada writes: Um...just a thought but shouldn't number 12 (dusting) come before number 7 (vacuuming)?

    Otherwise you're just going to be walking on all the stuff that you you've kicked up from your feverish dusting, no?
  2. Dano Garv from Peterborough, Canada writes: Why the need for all the disposible stuff? Mop? Sponges? Scrub pads? Toilet brush? What a load of waste to throw out! Rather condescending toward men too. I know as many women who have dirty/messy homes as I do men.
  3. Albin Forone from Toronto, Canada writes: I love this kind of article for some obscure reason, I think dating back to childhood when I read an article in one of Mom's Readers Digests by a Marine returned from Korea about his best tips for batching: in those days, breaking ice with his K-bar knife, and keeping soap water in a big tub to store his dirty dishes and cutlery for a few days between washings. Scowen says he's on a budget but this is an ad for a variety of expensive, overrated pre-soaked towlets and those stupid new vacs that make you vac again to clean up after constantly emptying the little can, in a mindless infinite regress from the Twilight Zone. And, in fact, those smelly super-microbe creating towets will go dirty grey and useless within a few swipes, and are no more convenient than spraying a little Mister Clean and wiping up with a cheap wet paper towel or the indispenable cotton rag you made made from old clothes, linens or towels, and did not wastefully take to the curb.
  4. Anthony B from Sydney, NS, Canada writes: 2) Take the sheets off the beds and get them going in the washing machine....
    3) Do a room-to-room sweep to collect dirty glasses and dishes; put them in the dishwasher and start it.

    Don't you have to wait until the washing machine stops before you start the dishwasher?
  5. Hugh Campbell from Canada writes: Swiffers are in the same category as inkjet printers. If the manufacturer call sell you the handle very cheaply, he'll have you hooked into buying regular supplies. As any budget-conscious person (or business) knows, it's the consumables that add up. A regular dustmop with a handshake of water droplets on it does just as good a job as the Swiffer ... and reduces commodity shipments and the size of our landfills at the same time.
  6. Claude Carriere from Canada writes: Your home will now look like someone is cleaning it. When you realize it's you, your enthusiasm will only increase.

    I have lived alone for many years, and I can tell you, my enthousiam Never increases just because it looks like I am cleaning it.

    That said, cleaning is one of those necessary evils, if for no other reason, do it for your health, do it to keep the creepy crawly bugs out, do it to impress the ladies when you invite them over to visit.

    Your mother or father should have thought you these things when you were a kid.

    You don't have to do it all at once on the same day either or, to pass a white glove test.

    While I am never enthousiastic about cleaning, I do get a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction when I get something done.

    This article is quite condescending, and shows obvious gender bias but, it is to be expected, our society is still quite immature when it comes to gender roles, sex, etc.
  7. Keen Observer from Toronto, Canada writes: Yikes! All that disposable crap. It's so easy to use traditional materials, such as mops and scrubbers and feather dusters. A bucket is cheap enough. Must be costing a small fortune, not to mention the environmental consequences.

    I do like the Mr. Clean bathroon scrubbers though. The 'disposable' scrubber lasts a good long while, and everything does wear out eventually, including mops, brooms, etc. And when a scrubber has passed its useful like for the bath tub and tiles, one can use it one last time to get at those really icky bits around the bottom edge of the toilet before throwing it out.
  8. My eyes are open, Are yours? from Canada writes: If you use shower gel you won't have to scrub your bathtub nearly as much - it's the bar soap that makes the scum. Get a bath squeegee, use it after you shower, no chemicals required.

    Wipe off your faucets with the used bath towel that you're going to throw in the wash. No chems required if you do it regularly. Therefore, save the laundry until after bathroom cleaning; start the dishwasher before. WHy are there dishes and glasses anywhere but the kitchen and dining room?

    Dust before vacuum; then empty the vacuum into the wastepaperbasket and then empty the wastepaper basket. Otherwise, when do you empty the vacuum?

    Dust during commercials in TV shows; you don't have to save it all for a 'big clean'.

    Get some cordless headphones and blast the tunes while you vacuum, it becomes much less tedious.
  9. Lotus Land from Victoria, Canada writes: Let me guess. Peter shops at Walmart too!
  10. I.M. APROUDCDN from Canada writes: What's with all of these ridiculous cleaning products that will just cost lots of money and fill our landfill or pollute our water supplies. How about an article with environmentally friendly options (i.e. seventh generation cleaning products)?
  11. Vladimir Kolcza from Toronto, Canada writes: Interesting how condescending Canadian media are to Canadian men. It is consistent and insulting. It is why I think Canadian media ar not worth subscribing to. That aside, I note that men who have a military background would find this piece - as well as the "men" who have posted eactionsso far - to be very hilarious. Post-military service, most European men undertake to do any "serious cleaning" in the family home because - by and large - women do not know how. Ditto pressing clothing. After hyears of pressing their own uniforms, military men can usually do a better job of a debutante's gown than can most women. Whay? For the same reason that most design engineers (both professional and school registrants) are PREDOMINANTLY male. men understand how things are constructed (and how to maintain them in consequence) MUCH better than women can. It is painful for me to watch my otherwise competent wife - or any other woman - try to press a blouse. She eventually finishes the job, but in ten times the time it would take me, and the job is not half as well done. Only in North America are the genders so alienated and relations between the two so poisoned and dysfunctional that such an article would garner serious or (attempts at) amusing commentary. That is a sad state of affairs, frankly.
  12. RD Lone from Vancouver, Canada writes: So you know how an iron and a blouse are constructed, thus your pressing skills are 1000%-2000% better than a woman? Uhh ok buddy, while in principal I think your points have some merit you are clearly taking this too far on the other extreme. Ultimately skill is generally gained through practice, thus whoever does it more is better at it. Just as it is a FACT as you stated that engineers are predominately male, it is equally as true that in North American culture, traditionally speaking, the female has done the bulk of housework. This is not ‘poisoned and dysfunctional’ - just different from where ever you are from. In some European countries people kiss each other when they meet, we don’t here; does it mean that we hate each other and are totally uncaring? No. Assuming you are from Europe you will surely agree that the female body is exploited far greater (in magazines, media, etc) extent than in North America. Regardless, I’m not going to make the same mistake as you and pass judgement based on cultural differences. Things are different everywhere, and one small factor cannot be the basis of determining if it is poisoned, nor dysfunctional. The article itself was meant to be a light-hearted piece thus the multitude of jokes in there that men would understand. I’m sorry that you didn’t find it funny; perhaps you can propose alternative ways to create humour.
  13. Vladimir Kolcza from Toronto, Canada writes: RD Lone:

    Keep defending the status-quo, RD, it's most amusing to watch. Without recidivists and ostriches with their heads buried in the sand, the word "progress" loses much of its "context" and, therefore, much of its meaning. We DFEPEND on dinosaurs such as yopurself, RD. Keep up the recidivism. You'll disappear up your own a--hole in the fullness of time. You'll like it there. it's warm, dark and cozy. You'll be alone. That's what WE like most about the whole process in which you are inextricably engaged. You are, in that respect, RD, "self-managing". I respect that.
  14. D McAnn from Canada writes: It's OK Peter. All these comments regarding the "waste", "expense" and "condescension", etc. obviously show that many don't understand satire and parody. Relax folks...I think if you re-read the article you will catch the tongue-in-cheek nature of the writing.
  15. J P from Toronto, Canada writes: D McAnn, you took the words right out of my mouth. Everybody needs to relax - the intent of the article is clearly humorous and tongue-in-cheek. If you don't like, you don't have to read it - the word "Swiffer" was in the headline after all!
  16. brokeback mountain from toronto, Canada writes: so much easier just to hire a cleaning lady
  17. Sam Snead from Canada writes: From Article: "Your home will now look like someone is cleaning it. When you realize it's you, your enthusiasm will only increase."

    This self awareness moment can go either way. sometimes it's encouragement, other times you re-evaluate your position on the the clean - dirty continuum.

    It's a good program, well designed. I especially like the idea of getting the laundry on the go first as this creates dead time where you must either wait or do something else. It also creates the challenge of beating the timer on the washer/dryer which increase your cleaning heart rate and lowers your concept of clean to match the elapsed time. It also puts an end time on your cleaning activities which serves to convince yourself that this will not go on forever.

    I also recommend using the 80% rule of clean. The "it's not clean until it's 'product name' clean" philosophy is overkill. Using this methodology, use can easily adopt a split routine which enables you to keep more things 80% clean. Some men of course adopt a 50% clean split routine and manage to convince themselves that it is more efficient, but more often than not they simply didn't do the math.

    Another factor is managing expectations. You do not want to set your goals too high. But some areas require high goals. You can use 'cleaning cost averaging' to achieve your desired effect here. So your bathroom can be at a 95% while the coffee table is 70%, etc, to achieve your 80% percent rule. AND of course always proclaim your abode is in a messy state before visitors enter to create the illusion that some magically clean world exists, they just missed it. (Women have been pulling this trick forever)

    One important key to cleanliness, is to minimize all flat areas.

    All I'm saying is, if you put in the effort, understand the math involved, tweak the numbers maximizing benefit and minimizing effort, within 2-3 hours you will have a really good plan.
  18. Jane Doe from Canada writes: Oh guys, come on. I haven't read something equally amusing or entertaining in a long time. Lighten up.
  19. Kevin Desmoulin from TO, Canada writes: LOL Kinda of a article that make men look stupid like we never learnt to be clean or keep a clean place, To each his own I say, I guess some may never know how to do this chore or even have the will. got to admit it is easier to have a clean freak around whatever gender
  20. D K from Canada writes: And that lump growing on your neck? That's cancer from the toxic waste dump aka your clean house.
  21. Rollo Tomasi from Is Cleanliness next to impossible?, Belgium writes: I can imagine a battle plan would be needed for those who live like utter slobs for 3 weeks in between cleaning his apartment. Hopefully he cleans himself more frequently.
  22. Dawn Lotus from Toronto, Canada writes: But if the satire is lost on readers is it still satire?

    I'm cringing at the thought of a wack of people marching out to buy Swiffers and Mr. Clean.

    That said, I tend to find humour founded solely in how it panders to established biases somewhat lacking unless done with particular brilliance.
  23. dray Frazer from Vancouver, Canada writes: I like to clean the bathroom first, it is the ugliest. I do it all without the new toxins, just the old ones. They are safer. I had no idea there were so many bachelors until reading these posts.
  24. Rodney Touche from Calgary, Canada writes: Entertaining. Paying for it can be the best option if you can find a self-employed cleaning lady for less than $65 an hour.

    This is what Cleaning Services charge and they send two ladies who only get $20. Why don't these ladies go out on their own?

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