Every day, young Muslims seek out Munir El-Kassem with questions.
Questions about faith. Questions about love. But mainly, questions about clothes.
"It's a constant," said Dr. El-Kassem, a London, Ont., imam and chaplain at the University of Western Ontario who often finds himself mediating between young Muslims and their more traditional parents.
"But it is the same in any culture, any religion: you cannot impose any kind of dress upon a teenager."
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Late Monday night, one of those many conflicted Muslim teens died, succumbing to injuries she received at the hands of her own father, if the police version of events is true.
Friends said the 16-year-old Mississauga teen, Aqsa Parvez, had enraged her parents by refusing to don a hijab, the Islamic headscarf worn by some Muslim women.
Canadian Muslims condemned the slaying, calling it an extreme and reprehensible perversion of Islam.
But some said the cultural clashes that reportedly precipitated the killing - a teenager's rebellion against her strict, devout father - are playing out within Muslim families across the country and must be addressed.
"This is a wake-up call for law enforcement to tighten its grip on incidents like this," said Farzana Hassan, president of the Muslim Canadian Congress.
"The atmosphere is unfortunately there for something like this to happen again. People from back home are coming to Canada with these very rigid notions of religiosity that makes them do these things - that enrages them to ensure compliance to such an extent."
Ms. Parvez's friends told reporters the Grade 11 student would wear a hijab on the bus to school and change into Western-style clothing after arriving at Applewood Heights Secondary School in Mississauga.
The family infighting over her dress had become so intense that Ms. Parvez temporarily moved out of their two-storey Mississauga home in September, friends said.
Ms. Parvez's father, Muhammad Parvez, 57, appeared in a Brampton, Ont., court yesterday, charged with murder. Her brother, Waqas Parvez, 26, is charged with obstructing police. Police have so far refused to say how Ms. Parvez died.
The tragedy appears to be an extreme case of the cultural and religious clashes that roil many families in Canada.
"So many girls are trying to live a faith-based life within a larger secular society," said Ausma Khan, editor-in-chief of Muslim Girl magazine. "They are trying to fit in with friends and stay true to Islamic values. It can be a struggle."
Frustrated parents often phone Saudia Azeez of the social services department at the Islamic Foundation of Toronto with issues that face all parents of teens: missed curfews, slacking grades, too much time spent with a boyfriend, or pregnancy, Ms. Azeez said. Other conflicts are more culturally specific.
"It's unrealistic expectations sometimes," she said. "Parents come to a country and there's really the illusion that their kids are going to be just like them."
Seeking help can be difficult, Ms. Azeez said, because parents may feel ashamed, or don't know what services are available. There's also a need for programs geared specifically to minorities to accommodate language and cultural needs, she said.
In the past, that shame has led to murder - sometimes called "honour killings" - in other countries, but cases are rare in North America.
A court in British Columbia convicted Rajinder Atwal of murder in the July, 2003, stabbing death of his 17-year-old daughter, Amandeep, who died shortly after she moved in with her non-Sikh boyfriend, whom she had been dating secretly.
There have been several high-profile cases in Europe, including the death of 20-year-old Banaz Mahmod, whose father and uncle were given life sentences in London this summer for killing the young woman whom they believed had shamed their family by leaving her marriage and finding another lover.
Tarek Fatah, the outspoken founder of the Muslim Canadian Congress, said this type of violence against women will continue until certain religious leaders quit pressing young woman to wear headscarves.
"I put the blame straight at the feet of people who have made young Muslim girls feel that they are sinners if they don't cover their heads," he said. "How many more Muslim girls have to die before the liberal intelligentsia wakes up and the feminists wake up and say the hijab is a symbol of oppression?"
