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Gather around the Christmas tree and open up those relationship puzzles

MICHAEL EVANS

From Friday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 12:50 PM EST 27/12/07

Concentrate on your important relationships this holiday ...Read the full article

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  1. dallas mcquarrie from Regina, Canada writes: Enter situations with goodwill, and seek out those people who return goodwill. Avoid those who don't. And remember, friends are God's apology for relatives.
  2. Trish Taylor from Canada writes: "Developed in the 1980s by Gerald Klerman and Myrna Weissman, IPT does not focus exclusively on your specific psychopathology but instead focuses on your major relationships: family, work and social. The main idea is that if we can heal our relationships, then we can heal our issues. If you can get to a good place with these social connections, then this is healing." I have a hard time accepting this theory, despite the supposed body of evidence that says this approach is successful. If you troubleshoot the current relationships and make them successful, what about the next ones that come along? Do you spend your whole life troubleshooting each new relationship? And what about those relationships that can't be corrected to a level of satisfaction because of the wildcard component...the other person(s) involved? Are you doomed to unhappiness? If you don't look at root cause and address that, it continues to cause you grief. As the article concurs, you can only control yourself. If you can manage your OWN self in a way that you are happy with in an ongoing basis IN these family, work and social relationships, then it will apply to everything and you will only need to pursue therapy for the ones that you can't seem to manage. If, after thoughtful and careful examination, you are content with yourself and you know where your own boundaries are and are living an authentic life that pleases YOU, then it should automatically permeate each sort of relationship you encounter.
  3. Kay Ay from Canada writes: I agree with Dallas!
    I had to laugh at "parents think they know their child better than anybody"! HA! My mother-in-law is the perfect example of this.
    I like her and we get along but neither my lovely husband or his siblings are perfect (I've yet to meet someone who is...).
    Anyway, as the relatives have all gone home I think the holiday was successful and pleasant.

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