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Aging really is depressing (until 50)

TRALEE PEARCE

From Wednesday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 9:31 AM EDT 01/02/08

The biggest risk for a midlife crisis is the act of aging itself ...Read the full article

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  1. The Iconoclast from Canada writes: Confucius had a right more than 2500 years ago:

    At 15 - you start to have an idea what you want to do in life
    At 30 - you become independent
    At 40 - you start to see things more clearly and devoid of illusions
    At 50 - you come to recognize your true destiny in life
    At 60 - you are more harmonious and take things less seriously
    At 70 - you are free and yet you will not overstep your boundaries
  2. Modern Observer from Ottawa, Canada writes: It's true. Been there, done that.
  3. Don Quixote from the Banana Belt Ont., Canada writes: Just now people are discovering that they do have a limited
    'shelf-life'......
  4. s like from Canada writes: I've been telling everyone I know that I don't know anyone who's really happy and that its the forties affect.

    I explain it as that time of life when everything seems to change. Still trying to be thirtysomething because, well jeez, it wasn't that long ago. Being thirtysomething in your forties just doesn't seem to work or bring the satisfaction it once did. Eventually you accept that you really are getting older and move on.

    It's a relief to know it'll all pass.
  5. William Hughes from Vancouver Island, Canada writes: You hit the bottom of the "U" when you lose your sense of immortality.
  6. True Canadian from Hamilton, Canada writes: I am pretty sure that some drug company will turn it into a "disorder" and come with a "cure" (aka drug) for it!
  7. CD W from Canada writes: It has been fun. Now time to take it all in, a little skiing and then summer fishing. It could be worse, I could be in India cleaning sewers.
  8. Garry Sugden from Richmond Hill, Canada writes: Well, this finding is going to depress the hell out of my adult kids; but I'm cool! Cheers!
  9. Emma Hawthorne from Canada writes: I think young people should be warned that early adulthood can be very trying, yet these difficulties lift considerably as adulthood progresses. Although distress often revisits in the fourties, life improves dramatically from there. Much of the serious life distress suffered by Canadians could be helped with some mental-health focused counselling from highly-skilled non-medical professionals. Too many Canadians succumb to stress, stress-related illnesses, too many routinely end up in less helpful and often toxic psychiatirc treatment, and live greatly diminished lives, all because of this erroneous medical focus. Canada has excellent highly-skilled social workers and psychologists who can provide targeted efficacious life-changing assistance. They need to be covered by medicare, and endless stress illness treatments (possibly the most common medical complaint) and nearly all psychiatric consultations (which are needed only for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and psycholsis) need to be properly curtailed. Forcing medicare to get smart will save billions in currently wasted health care dollars and benefit the population immensely.
  10. Kevin Desmoulin from TO, Canada writes: I do not think it is easy at any point and a lot depends on attitude but ya most get down when they realize they looking the hill, etc. dreams not realized, regrets and time gone by, but you do realize your depth of experience and hopefully come to a healthy point of self actualized and acceptance, one common thing I found you have less time for BS but more tolerance too, strength of character.
  11. Wanda Fyooka from Vancouver, Canada writes: I had a ball in my 40s! The bottom of the U managed to hold off until the mid-50s, when the switch to a desk job plus the resultant reduced fitness, brought it on. Fortunately, in my experience, the climb up the back side of the U is pretty fast. At 66, I'm having a ball again! Sometimes life begins again at 60!
  12. Alan Burke from climatechange.dynalias.com in Ottawa, Canada writes: It's about frame of mind. I still feel young, having been here for 6 decades. I have never thought about age except to wish a happy birthday.

    I'll fade eventually but it will be with kicking and screaming feet. I'd rather go into my grave or flames saying

    It was a hell of a ride. I hope you have as much fun.
  13. Laura Dover from CALGARY, Canada writes: I agree with someone above who spoke of immortality. At some point, something happens that you have no control of. It could be a disease, it could be gaining a chin or losing your hair, receding gumline, losing your memory. But it happens, your healthy lifestyle didn't stop it and any fixes are only temporary. And then you have to recognize how limited your resources, including time, really are. It is an adjustment.
  14. Alan Burke from climatechange.dynalias.com in Ottawa, Canada writes: And the average life expectancy when Confucious was alive was what?
    Perhaps 40?

    There's a difference between intelligence and wisdom. Our youth cult has emphasized the former.
  15. Alan Burke from climatechange.dynalias.com in Ottawa, Canada writes: Pass your wisdom on to your heirs.
  16. Jared Bernstein from Huntington, United States writes: Well, for me it has been just the opposite. My twenties were hell, thirties slowly getting better, very good in my forties and now (at 52) every year just gets better. But then, I've always been different.....
  17. Hugh Draper from Vancouver, Canada writes: Another factor underlying our tendency to report greater happiness past our 40s relates to the death of brain cells.
  18. dave ross from Canada writes: Alan Burke from climatechange.dynalias.com in Ottawa, Canada writes: Pass your wisdom on to your heirs.

    Actually I'm just trying not to lose my hairs.
  19. DRR VCD from Canada writes: I'm 24, soon to be 25, and I have had a lot of difficulty getting over the fact life is moving ever so quickly. I find myself frustrated by the fact that there exist so many things I wish to do, and yet only so much time in which to do them. Too many dreams clashing with the reality of my limited time here. My grandma lent me a book not to long ago, one of Carnegie's classics, I honestly forget the name right now, but it is about stress. In any event, although written decades and decades ago, the wisdom still rings true. One particular quote which is in fact a few hundred years old goes: ""Happy the man, and happy he alone, He, who can call today his own; He who, secure within, can say: 'Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have liv'd today." Anyway, the point is/was to remember to enjoy the present. I have found myself often too focused on the future, 'when I am done high school', 'when I am done university', 'when I start a career', and more recently, 'when I have more money'. Eventually it will be, 'when I retire'. And after that it is over. So if any other younger people reading these comments, and at times kinda feel stressed about the limited time left of their youth, suck in the everyday moments and appreciate them for what they are, good or bad. Because in the end, it is not the destination, but the journey.
  20. Chase Sanders from Vancouver, Canada writes: To DRR VCD, that's quite an impassioned piece of advice. I myself am still a teenager just starting university. In a sense I do know what you mean...it's just mortality procrastination - when I'm done grade 8 I'll do this, when I'm done grade 12, when I'm finished with university, when I get my first real job...the list goes on. Too many "when I"s and not enough of the present. To a great extent I still don't completely know who I am, and the note of immortality still lingers from my earlier teens. At 14/15 the idea of death is so far away that it is an abstraction at best. At the moment death by old age is still a distant concern - when you're constantly surrounded by youth you forget that one day you'll be old. It's hard not to take the vitality of youth for granted...because a lot of us are still stuck in the mentality that this will last forever.
  21. Alan Burke from climatechange.dynalias.com in Ottawa, Canada writes: Yeah, the drain bamage gets to us all.
  22. Jennifer Rollison from Canada writes: I love my forties and they have been a roller-coaster ride. I feel confident, I know who I am and I know what I want. I even found the love of my life in my 40's...maybe I'm lucky but I have also had lots of people tell me they, too, loved their 40's. On the other hand I have a friend who is just feeling comfortable with our 40's now and we are almost 49. Partially I believe it is the 'value' our society places on youth. To this I would say, the man I love now I would never have loved in my 20's. He and I even laugh about this. But I would never have loved so deeply then as I do now, either. Age gives this to us...we see greater value in others, I hope. Anyway, 50 is approaching and I hope they will be as good as the past decade.
  23. Peter The Not Quite Great from Edmonton, Canada writes: "His favourite explanation is that in our 40s, we come face to face with our unfulfilled dreams, and admit our personal weaknesses."

    I guess for many of us it takes until our 40's to reach maturity. I like to think I realized my limitations earlier than that but I'm probably just fooling myself.
  24. james cyr from Balmertown Ontario, Canada writes: The conclusions of this study represent a meaningless generalization taken from rather subjective statistical data. My response to this study is.."so what?"
  25. Hannah McCormick from Canada writes: The difference is that in your forties, you're stuck with teenaged children. In your fifties, you get darling grandchildren. :D

    At least, that's what my mother says!
  26. Karina_I (my art at windstream.ca) from Canada writes: To Hannah McCormick from Canada writes The difference is that in your forties, you're stuck with teenaged children. In your fifties, you get darling grandchildren. :D

    I think you are absolutely right - I was 35-40 when my son was a teenager - a lot of stress on all fronts! Now I am 42 - he is in the University (but leaving at home) and because he is maturing I am becoming considerably more peaceful and I am looking forward to get my darling grandchildren! So I think that it is not really a "physical" age but rather at what stage of life you are in.
  27. Socrates speaks from Canada writes: Very subjective / No real merit.

    Happiness it the state of mind. And you have to cultivate it...
  28. Moose Pie from Toronto, Canada writes: I hit my mid life crisis in my late 20s and early 30s. No worries now .... unless that really was mid life ......
  29. westcoastgroovin victoria from Canada writes: It is no secret that the 40's is the decade when most people experience emotional crises. The succeeding decades often bring resolution and prespective which allow us to make sense of those experiences and profit from them. Not all do, but on the whole, most do. Also, there are fewer pressures to go along with the increased wisdom.
  30. steve allan from Welland, Ontario, Canada writes: It's true....after 50 you don't give a sh1t anymore. hahaha
  31. Henry Allen from East Bank, Don River, Canada writes: The neat thing about getting older is that you become an ever larger collection of all the ages you've been before, starting from the time you were a little kid, only with grey hair and wrinkles.
  32. Two Creeks from Ontario, Canada writes: The shape of the life course seems to fit my experience. As long as they don't shove food into my body and cause another downward plunge near the end.
  33. Freshand Forwardthinking from Canada writes: Henry Allen - you are sweet and wise. Your imagery gave me quite a chuckle.
  34. old curmudgeon from Armenia writes: For me, life became simpler when I realized a few things. One, I had little control over my life, and was a lot happier just enjoying the ride. Two, change is something to be sought out rather than feared. Three, reasonable expectations and happiness with small things are preferable to comparing oneself to others. Four, things could always be worse. And five, a two-pronged rule--a), don't sweat the small stuff, and b), most things are small stuff. I believe strongly that the improvement in our lifeview relates to the knowledge we acquire as we age, rather than any real improvement in our surroundings or circumstances.
  35. Leslie Tobias from Toronto, Canada writes: It depends where you live and how a person is treated. I have noticed men & women are treated better to be part of the family unit. Whether they are 40, 50, 60, male or female. These are people from Europe, Middle East and some asian communities. In Canada we tend to give less respect as we age and experience an adult has learned over the years. On the flip side. Adults regress giving young people more control assuming they are mature to handle any crisis. Although, unscientific we tend to rely depend more on technology that we do not take the time to communicate or build on having relationship with real people. Computers are not real people. They assit us, they do not replace the human condition.

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