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We've discovered our friends are nudists

DAVID EDDIE

From Friday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 7:37 AM EST 04/04/08

We're okay with it, we're not prudes. Do we tell them we know? ...Read the full article

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  1. robert quinn from Japan writes: I read this column and invariably come away thinking I have no problems in life, apart from the normal, everyday crap we all deal with.
  2. Kay Ay from Canada writes: I wouldn't tell them you've found out...unless you want to join them.
    But well they haven't invited you, and no offense, but I understand since I've never been one for having friends glued to my every move.

    Of course I also don't have any friends I would want to sit around naked with (except in the sauna or the occasional skinny dip).
  3. Allen Jones from Toronto, Canada writes: I think that the article is a fair characterization of what nudism is all about. There's more of a stigma attached to nudism in North America than in Europe. Here's hoping that we all lighten up a bit, shed our clothes when appropriate and enjoy the summer sun. After all, sun exposure is still our major source of vitamin D, which has been shown to reduce the incidence of several cancers.
  4. Jacques Shellac from Montreal, Canada writes: Why don't you just show up at the same nudist camp the next time they're scheduled to go away, if they're good friends, you'll have the time of your life and you'll discover that being naked in public is fun and not about sex at all.

    Peace.
  5. Erik Richards from Winnipeg, Canada, writes: I'm confused - what's the problem? Do you want to hang out with your friends while they're nude? If so, just join a group where you are likely to run into them. If you're not interested in shedding your clothes, why mention anything? It is no different if they decided to take up any other activity that didn't involve you.

    I would suggest that they will mention it to you in their own time - if they really want your company.
  6. Ursula Seawitch from Canada writes: Mr. Eddie, I love your writing

    (Maybe they're worried that (warning: tortured metaphor approaching) unless they untether the belt of your friendship, they'll never be able to drop their old selves to the floor and step forward into the sunshine of a brave nude world. )

    How long did it take you to come up with that one. Have you been hording it for years waiting for the right question?

    You made my day. I'm selling Daffodils tomorrow at the Grocery store for the Cancer society. Come and see me...bring your wallet.
  7. CD W from Canada writes: Leave them alone, do wait for the invite, shaddap!
  8. H M from Canada writes: That would a very unattractive and painful tattoo, guaranteed to look terrible past age 30.
  9. Mike L. from Canada writes: I guess this article and the one about the lady whose nipple rings set off an airport metal detector, are leaving me somewhat perplexed about the state of our society, and make me feel every minute of my 50 years (even though the nudists are even older... go figure).

    If this is the new "normal", I wonder what someone has to do now to be really kinky. On second thought, that's way more information than I probably need to enjoy my day...
  10. Antonio San from Canada writes: We have discovered our friends are Globe reporters. What do we do?
  11. Private Person from Toronto, Canada writes: The fact that the questioners haven´t already just talked openly to their naturist friends says it all. The friends have correctly identified them as squarer than they are and have moved on. The idea that naturism is a sensitive topic, that one should approach carefully after consulting with an advice columnin a newspaper, would be hilarious and silly in the naturist world.

    naturism is the ultimate No Big Deal.
  12. Dave Fleming from Toronto, Canada writes: Stephane and his wife are fine examples of dedicated naturists and when they have something to say, I would believe them.
    One way to bring up the subject is for him to ask his (nudist) friends if they have heard of any naturist beach or resorts nearby. That question would show to their (nudist) friends that they have an interest and are a bit open minded on this subject. I'm sure the (nudist) couple would open up with a flood of information which would result in an invitation to join the (naturist) couple. Our national organization is at www.fcn.ca for lots of information about where to go.
    As for the demographics, the younger people are seeing a wall of older people, but that has not stopped them from coming to Hanlan's Point Beach on the Toronto Islands. I am seeing more very young couples every year and I hope they migrate to the resort clubs where the heart and sole of naturism exists and where they would get a warm welcome compared to a beach.
  13. Paul Rapoport from Ancaster ON, Canada writes: Dave Fleming points out the existence of both privately operated naturist centres and public locations such as beaches. Both are important.

    Stéphane Deschênes hits all the right notes on this for me. I'm glad he was interviewed for this question.

    My only complaint is one spelling error in the original article. Hint: all those people who write, wrongly if in this context amusingly, "Just bare with me a moment."
  14. brokeback mountain from Canada writes: i discovered my friend is a tibetan monk, what should I do?
  15. J S from Canada writes: If I found out that my good firends had googled my activities I might be slightly annoyed.
  16. More or Less from Canada writes: Having been a naturist for decades, it always amazes me when people react to this as if I told them I was from another galazy. What is the big deal if your friends have an interest you don't understand or share? I don't golf, don't get it, have no interest in it; doesn't mean I run when friends start talking about the thrill of hooking a dogleg, or scoring 10 over on a 4 & 5 par course (zzzzzzz!) You can still enjoy doing the things together that were always been a part of your friendship; and if you are curious and interested in exploring being a naturist (nudist), then by all means ask your friends if they would educate you about facilities and information. It's not a big deal people! There's nothing new & different than what you see looking in the mirror--naturists are the people you see everyday on the bus, in the mall, and at work.

    @brokeback mountain : LMAO
  17. Mike L. from Canada writes: Private Person from Toronto, Canada writes: "The fact that the questioners haven´t already just talked openly to their naturist friends says it all. The friends have correctly identified them as squarer than they are and have moved on."

    I hate it when people are labeled as "square" for not subscribing to a particular trend or activity. In this case, the non-naturists probably simply value their privacy and consider exposing their bodies to strangers as overly intimate for their liking. That certainly is not "square"; in fact I would rather call it "good taste". People who throw that label around are actually being more intolerant than the allegedly "square" ones who are simply saying nothing more than "no thank you, we're not into that".

    That said, I happen to think that nudity is something best shared with your spouse, in private. Call me square if you will, but valuing your privacy is certainly nothing to be ashamed about.
  18. guy tozer from Saskatoon, Canada writes: So what? It's their lives. I certainly wouldn't let this "bit" of information ruin a long lasting relationship. You may not agree with the lifestyle, but you have to accept it. They are the same couple now that they were before . And if their ,not spending as much time with you now as before, bothers you, ask them. Just casually mention that you know and you think it's great, that they can be so openminded. Who knows, as someone said before, they just might ask you to join them for a camping weekend.
  19. Strawberry Blonde from Canada writes: I understand the writer's concern. If I had lifelong intimate friends who were suddenly keeping secrets and excluding me from their lives for the first time in 30 years, I would also feel hurt, abandoned or betrayed.

    I sense that the issue for the writer is not "nudism" at all but the pending loss of an important relationship .. "a bit like the feeling you get when your significant other is about to break up with you" (David Eddie, March 14/08).

    Or are these secretive friends typical of nudists? Are they all in the closet? Do nudists generally "hang out" (so to speak) with strangers while keeping it on the low down with family and friends? Is this sort of like anonymous sex? If so, perhaps the secretive activity is not personal and the writer has nothing to worry about.

    On the other hand, putting themselve in a magazine doesn't sound like they are hiding anything (at least not within the nudist community) so maybe the writer is, unfortunately, correct and their friends are gettin on with a new life and leaving them behind. :(

    Suggestions that the writer "show up" at a nudist colony hoping to "bump into" their friends seem a little desparate!
  20. bill wilson from Canada writes: David Eddie states: "Being curious, and based on cumulative facts gleaned over time, we Googled some of their camping locations. It seemed our friends had become naturists ... nudists."

    Isn't that stalking?
  21. Southside Guy from Edmonton, Canada writes: The friends of the closet nudists will now think twice before sitting on the leather couch when they are invited over.
  22. Harbinger from Out West from Prince George, Canada writes: A nudist is just a buff buff. Right?
  23. Mike L. from Canada writes: bill wilson from Canada writes: "David Eddie states: "Being curious, and based on cumulative facts gleaned over time, we Googled some of their camping locations. It seemed our friends had become naturists ... nudists."

    Isn't that stalking?"

    Not if it's in the public domain, and you're not hacking into secure sites. Very little that we do in the open these days can be kept private. If you don't want an activity of yours googled, don't do it anywhere but inside your own house.
  24. Dave Fleming from Toronto, Canada writes: If I read the article right, the nudist friends told their non-nudist friends the name of the camping club. I suggest to you that this was done deliberately to see if their non-nudist friends would take the information and investigate it on the web in their own privacy. It's very difficult, even for experienced naturists, to tell everyone about their naturist hobby, since it can be very damaging to the relationship if the person you tell turns out to be not as liberal as you thought. I have a friend, who says he is not interested, but everytime he sees me, he makes me suffer by cracking some joke about our nude life, but I do my best to ignore him. I don't need to hear wise cracks, so I don't call him anymore. This is a cautionary tale.

    If you want to promote our great life, ask an open ended question like, "Have you heard about the nudist beach or the nudist resort?" Then wait for the response. If it's positive, give out more information, if not, drop the subject. The question does not implicate you as an active naturist so you can protect your own privacy. This question form is the alternative to saying "Are you interested in nudism"?

    Break away and feel the FREEDOM!
  25. Gary Layng from Canada writes: I agree with Dave Fleming. I have dropped a few hints, and a handful of my friends have realized what's going on and have done their research and know that nudism/naturism is about social nudity rather than orgies. On the other hand, most of my friends probably would suffer from the "ewww" factor. I'd rather not lose them as friends, so why should I tell them?
  26. brokeback mountain from toronto, Canada writes: are they swingers?
  27. Beyond my BEST BEFORE date from Canada writes: Gary Layng from Canada writes: "nudism/naturism is about social nudity" Perhaps you could explain this.

    How is "nudism" different from skinny-dipping, nude-sunbathing, being naked in the rain, vacuuming in the nude, being nude in the sauna/hot-tub or swimming nude at the "Y"??

    I have done and enjoy all of those things but am not sure that I would enjoy sitting around playing cards or eating a meal with naked people who look like my grandparents (or me for that matter!).

    Perhaps that is the problem with the writer's secretive friends ... they are beautiful, nubile and fit and the writer and his wife are ... shall we say ... dumpy.

    Actually, this could be a case of reverse discrimination! Stéphane Deschênes said "When you're naked you can't express your feelings of social superiority over others through your clothing." But perhaps you can express your feelings of social superiority over others because you are more beautiful naked ??
  28. bill wilson from Canada writes: Mike L. from Canada writes: Not if it's in the public domain, and you're not hacking into secure sites

    I think the operative portion of the quote was

    "Being curious, and based on cumulative facts gleaned over time,"

    Since you think this is OK, I can conclude that you have no objections to me following you around with a video camera.
  29. Dave Fleming from Toronto, Canada writes: Nudism is about many and all things done nude if the activity is non-sexual. It's not just about social nudity, it's about showing respect for all ages, not staring at body parts, ignoring body parts, being friendly and outgoing, being protective of our fellow naturists and naturist families, especially since it's a nude environment, enjoying social interaction like having a camp wide Pot Luck or sitting with naturist friends for dinner, joining together to rent city pools especially the very popular Wave Pools, playing sports of all kinds from tennis and volleyball to winter swims where some groups play water volleyball and water polo while other swims feature big jacuzzies, saunas, water slides, etc, etc,.
    It's all good and relaxing and very healthy. As an example, in my case, since 1990, I have not had a serious cold, and any cold symptom has not lasted more than an hour or two, then disappears.
    Finally, Naturism does not really attract swingers, because they want to be with other swingers. If it's sexual, it's not naturist, in a social sense.
    Excuse me while I get ready for a nudist swim and water recreation night tomorrow. Fun guaranteed!
  30. The Happy Nudist from Canada writes: There are some excellent comments here, plus, of course, idiotic comments from a$$hole wingnuts. Having been a happy nudist for over 20 years, yet experiencing first hand what a$$hole wingnuts can do to one's reputation, I can fully understand your friend's reluctance to just talk to you about their new lifestyle. We discovered the joy of clothes free living 22 years ago. Wanting to share what we found with our closest friends at the time, we told them about it and invited them to our camp. Not only did they not come, they delighted in telling everyone they came across, the word spread like widlfire, and we were pretty much shunned. Did that ever hurt! But did we give up on the lifestyle? Nope. Continued in it, raised our kids in it, and through nudism, have made some of the best friends one could ever hope for. No, we don't tell new acquaintances, just not going to take the chance of this BS happening again. Mind you, people appear to be more open and accepting of nudism today, but, once burned...... I agree though, since your friends did tell you the name of the camp they go to, and did allow their pictures to be published in a nudist publication, they're probably just afraid of your possible reaction, yet in their own way, giving you a chance to find out about it, hoping you might bring up the issue. A good way to lead into a converstaion about it would be to start off a conversation with " I was reading an interesting article about nudists the other day.... do you know there are not only nude beaches and resorts, but there are actually nude cruises as well" Watch their reaction, as long as it's positive, continue on the topic, but using questions, rather than statements. I'll bet 2-1 your friends will open up about the topic with positive information about the subject. At the sake time, they're going to be judging your reactions, to see if there's any negativism there. When they don't see any, they'll talk more.
  31. More or Less from Canada writes: Beyond my BEST BEFORE date from Canada writes: "How is "nudism" different from skinny-dipping, nude-sunbathing, being naked in the rain, vacuuming in the nude, being nude in the sauna/hot-tub or swimming nude at the "Y"?? I have done and enjoy all of those things but am not sure that I would enjoy sitting around playing cards or eating a meal with naked people who look like my grandparents (or me for that matter!)." Best: How did you feel skinny dipping, hot tubbing, etc? Was it surreptitious or were you wish a bunch of friends who were all um, nubile? Naturism (a term that more accurately describes an attitude that goes beyond nudism and taking your clothes off) is about acceptance and openness. I won't dispute that there's a portion of the Naturist population who see this lifestyle as just being nude and having overtones of s*xuality. That's where girls-gone-wild imagination triggers snickering and ridulous assumptions (no need to worry about sitting on the leather furniture BTW). The people I've met over the years have been from toddlers to in their 80s and I would gladly play cards, chat, have dinner (usually this is done with clothes on or a towel around you--one of those etiquette things) or whatever. Naturists have something in common, and it isn't that we're not wearing clothes; it's an attitude that's hard to explain until you've experienced it. It's not giggling skinny dips or leering hot tub buddies.
  32. The Happy Nudist from Canada writes: As others have mentioned, nudism just is not about sex. There's a feeling of freedom, of joy, of contentment, when you can intereact with someone else totally naked. No one knows what someone does for a living, how much money they make etc. You're just dealing honestly with that Person as a whole and deciding if they're a decent person or not. Hard to do that in "textile" society where so much can be hidden, or, put on display. More and more people, especially the over 50 crowd, are opening their minds, enquiring about nudism. Many have their first experiences on nude beaches, or at nudist resorts, in the Caribbean, far from anyone they know. But rember, there are different types of resorts. Yes, there are swingers resorts, but most people aren't interested. check out the federation of canadian naturists website www.fcn.ca for excellent information about nudism, local clubs etc. Rather than making your first attempt in nudism at a full nudist resort, try a clothing optional resort where you cand dress or undress as you wish with no restrictive rules about nudity. There's an exellent one in the Carribbean, caliente caribe www.calienteresorts.com . It can be stressful for old time friends getting together in nudism.... we're going through it right now. A couple we've been friends with for over 30 years...we had told them about our lifestyle...they just thought we were crazy, but it never affected our friendship..... experienced nude vacationing for the first time in 2007. They came back, phoned us up, and excitedly told us hoe much they had enjoyed it, that now they understood why we've been nudists so long. We asked them about going on a vacation with us, but there's a problem.... they're nervous, simply because we've been friends in the textile world for so long.... think they'd be too embarrassed. But, in 2008, they took 2 nudist vacations...one to Mexico and one to the Carribbean
  33. The Happy Nudist from Canada writes: They enjoyed themselves even more, and are now talking about the possibility of joining us next year. Hey, we'll be uncomfortable at first as well, or at least, my wife will, but that will pass within 15 or 20 minutes. I know this from past experiences...my own, and others.

    So, get your friends talking about it. Even if you're not interested yourself, at least you can let them know you certainly don't look down on them for it, and want to maintain your friendship.

    95% of those who at least try it, go to a nudist camp or beach or resort, come away wondering why they were so worried about it. Many of that 95 % will continue in the future.

    In MY opinion, nudists, due to their openness and honesty, make the BEST friends
  34. Blind InTheSun from Canada writes: um. Just please don't eat anyting that's fallen on a couch or chair. I think the 5 second rule must be completely disregarded in this situation.
  35. Wandering Willy from Victoria, Canada writes: Nudists are not Swingers ~ Some may be both but for the most part they are two different animals. Swingers are generally secure enough to be naked in like minded company (Hedonism in Jamaica for example) but engage in sexual activity with others. Nudists well.....go through the day nude.

    My advice is if you are comfortable with being nude and it interests you, let them know you were reading up on it and let them know you saw them in a magazine.... and thought it was wonderful. Chances are if they posed for a picture in a public article then they are not that shy about it.

    If the relationship has just played out this will just hasten it if thats what it was, if not you just entered into a new level of friendship.// Good luck
  36. The Happy Nudist from Canada writes: Blind in the Sun. Idiotic comment. Nudists always sit on omething, a towel, a shirt. Just common courtesy, and common sense.... something you appear to be lacking.
  37. Harbinger from Out West from Prince George, Canada writes: Why do I think of the word "volleyball"' whenever the term "nudist" comes to mind?
  38. Two Creeks from wheatley, ontario, Canada writes: Surely this issue is not a friendship breaker. You should just lighten up. Your college metamorphoses have nothing to do with this. Becoming a nudist is not like joining Al Queda or Opus Dei.
  39. Iain's Opinion from Canada writes: Uhm you're friends, not married. So just bring it up and tell them, I googled you and wow you're nudists. Take it from there. But realize, they don't owe you anything so if they don't want to discuss it, let it go
  40. Judy Williams from Bradner, B.C., Canada writes: Friends not sharing their social nudist experiences ties in with body acceptance issues. Naturists say that body acceptance is the idea and that nude recreation is the way. I am 65, a retired teacher, life-drawing model, and life-long naturist. I taught high school for 40 years, and occasionally, my high-profile involvment with the preservation of N. America's largest clothing-optional beach would arise. I would deal with their curiosity as needed, and then get on with their education. As with anything in life, it is how you handle topics that determines how others react. The fact your friends shared their campsite names suggests they were offering you an indirect chance to ask them about their naturist activites. Only you know how close you are to one another. If you still socialize as you have always done, let them know you saw the magazine article and loved it and that you'd like to join them at some point in the future. Their reactions will guide you. And, they do vary! Recently, as I was about to deliver an eulogy before 300 people, a woman stood up and asked me publically how I could stand to be nude on a beach. Without missing a beat, I responded to her by saying: "The same way you can stand to swelter in an unhygienic, sweaty bathing suit." Again, it's all about the way you deal with a topic. Naturism is not all about physical attributes. Your bodies are your temples within which you lead your lives. You are perfect without embellishments. Naturism is living your life with respect for yourself, others, and for the environment. The Federation of Canadian Naturists (FCN), and the International Naturist Federation ascribe to this credo. Dec. 17, 2007, PayPal falsely accused FCN's Magazine and website of being pornographic, obscene and exploitive of children because of mere nudity. They cancelled our services and illegally froze our funds. For more info, or to share info, contact me @ judyw@direct.ca or via www.fcn.ca.
  41. Might makes right? from Toronto, Canada writes: I hope none of my friends find out I read this article.
  42. The Happy Nudist from Canada writes: For those interested in possibly experiencing the clothes free lifestyle, perhaps try it in a clothing optional setting.
    Go to www.calienteresorts.com go to caliente caribe, go to groups, go to sunward travel group and contact me via the group's e-mail address. Discretion assured. I'd be pleased to answer any questions you may have.
  43. Beyond my BEST BEFORE date from Canada writes: Judy Williams from Bradner, B.C., Canada stated: "Friends not sharing their social nudist experiences ties in with body acceptance issues."

    Huh? Now I am really confused.

    The reason the secretive couple is not sharing their experiences is because ... why? They are uncomfortable in their own skins? They are not prepared to "accept" their non-nudist friends' nude bodies?

    Please explain what your statement means.
  44. guy tozer from Saskatoon, Canada writes: Harbinger from Out West: In answer to your query.........it's because you have a gutter intelligence. Plain and simple.
  45. More or Less from Waterloo, Canada writes: @Beyond my BEST BEFORE date:
    I'm not sure what Judy Williams was trying to say. My own experience is that non-nudists just see naturism as a "nudie thing" (their words). Being comfortable in your own skin goes beyond what you wear; it's how you feel about yourself in general, but you don't realize it until you literally strip away the veneer we live with everyday--the suit, the dress clothes, the sweat pants, the uniform, the work boots: whatever defines who we are and what is comfortable for us. For non-nudists who have been interested & open minded enough to ask about why I like this without sniggering and rude comments, I explain it's a form of honesty you would never find in a clothed world. I don't see my body as s*xual when I meet other naturists, it's just my skin and it's just their's. Who they are is inside. Most of the 'ewww-ness' factor comes from non-nudists imagining (1) for the men believing they'll have uncontrollable reactions and if you truly fear this ridiculous prospect, then carry a towel with you everywhere, and (2) others will judge their body, and there's no cure for that. That's your problem, not other people seeing you. Naturists look each other in the eye when talking (no looking at a woman's chest--what a concept, eh?).
  46. R Staybare from Canada writes: It seems as though both sets of friends have an interest in naturism. The couple that allowed their photo to be used in a naturist magazine are likely becoming more open about their interest in naturism if they allowed the photo to be used by the magazine. They may be giving a few hints as well, if they are saying where they go camping. After many years of sharing their textile friendship, they may still find it difficult to blurt out " Oh by the way, we are naturists!" The couple that are feeling left out, seemed to be interested in naturism or why would they be reading naturist magazines. If they are truly interested in enjoying naturism with their friends a subtle comment about one of the camping spots could help to break the ice.
  47. Julee Ann from New York, United States writes: Nudism is a fun, healthy, freeing and wholesome way for men and women to socialize and live without clothes.
    One of my friend spend their holiday at nudist resorts every summer with his wife after they met and fall in love at nudistcenter.com.
  48. Beyond my BEST BEFORE date from Canada writes: I apologize if this is somewhat off-topic relative the the original reader's query but as others are using this thread to "promote" naturism I have to ask ...

    More or Less from Waterloo, Canada writes: "Naturists look each other in the eye when talking (no looking at a woman's chest--what a concept, eh?)."

    OK, so say I buy that argument. Then what is the purpose of filling naturist magazines with pictures of naked people ... to look them in the eye? What naturist (non-sexual) emotion is to be evoked when viewing these people voguing for the camera?

    Or perhaps, more to the point and a great example of the "ewww-ness" factor, why do naturists create, advertise, sell and buy DVDs and videos of minor children (all girls from what I can see) engaged in "Jon Benet Ramsey" type nude beauty contests.* Is this so that the viewer can see "who they are [...] inside"??

    And, who is making the decisions to exploit these underage girls in this fashion? They are certainly in no position to provide informed legal consent for something that will follow them for the rest of their lives.

    I am certainly not disputing the exhilaration, freedom, innocence and acceptability of being nude ... solo or in groups ... in context. ie. swimming, sunbathing, sauna, hottub, etc. Even volleyball! ;) That is all quite "natural"!

    But I can't seem to get beyond the kinkiness of the forced, artificial structure, the magazines, pictures, web-sites but mostly the seeming abuse of underage children as mentioned above. It takes on a seedy tone and there is nothing "natural" about it.

    *     I am referring to advertisements in "Going Natural", the publication of the FCN.
  49. More or Less from Canada writes: Beyond my BEST BEFORE date from Canada: You are correct, things seem to be going off topic from the article. The writer was concerned about how to let the friends know they 'knew' and how this interest would affect their friendship. For me, the point to make was, knowing their friends have a new interest shouldn't affect the friendship. As a long time naturist, I've learned that friends don't always react well to learning this--depending on their personal feelings about not wearing clothes. To address your concern about naturist magazines and other media: some of these things make me uncomfortable as well. There are naturist resorts that are venues for beauty contests and have a reputation for swinging. They do not appeal to me anymore than a resort frequented by clothed people with the same activities. There are many family oriented resorts that do not allow those activities and have strict policies about picture taking (as they now do in health clubs). Teaching children that the body is nothing to be ashamed of is easily done because they are natural mimics. At the same time, privacy is everyone's right no matter what age. I haven't seen the magazines & DVDs you're referring to since my naturist experiences are limited to where I go and not what is in various media. Personally I feel taking photos of children should be done with the same respect as an adult and in the same context: that is, no different than taking a photo at a clothed beach of the family having fun, making faces, building sandcastles, family photo, etc. Maybe because I'm a woman and a naturist, seeing photos of naked women or men in a magazine doesn't have the same visual impact for me--men are supposedly more visually stimulated. That's a personal thing for me and YMMV.
  50. More or Less from Canada writes: Beyond my BEST BEFORE date from Canada: You are correct, things seem to be going off topic from the article. The writer was concerned about how to let the friends know they 'knew' and how this interest would affect their friendship. For me, the point to make was, knowing their friends have a new interest shouldn't affect the friendship. As a long time naturist, I've learned that friends don't always react well to learning this--depending on their personal feelings about not wearing clothes. To address your concern about naturist magazines and other media: some of these things make me uncomfortable as well. There are naturist resorts that are venues for beauty contests and have a reputation for swinging. They do not appeal to me anymore than a resort frequented by clothed people with the same activities. There are many family oriented resorts that do not allow those activities and have strict policies about picture taking (as they now do in health clubs). Teaching children that the body is nothing to be ashamed of is easily done because they are natural mimics. At the same time, privacy is everyone's right no matter what age. I haven't seen the magazines & DVDs you're referring to since my naturist experiences are limited to where I go and not what is in various media. Personally I feel taking photos of children should be done with the same respect as an adult and in the same context: that is, no different than taking a photo at a clothed beach of the family having fun, making faces, building sandcastles, family photo, etc. Maybe because I'm a woman and a naturist, seeing photos of naked women or men in a magazine doesn't have the same visual impact for me--men are supposedly more visually stimulated. That's a personal thing for me and YMMV.
  51. My eyes are open, Are yours? from Canada writes: Geez, and I don't even like the way the back of my legs stick to plastic seats when I'm wearing shorts.

    Plus, any kind of running would be uncomfortable. And what do you do about grease splatters when you're cooking?
  52. Just Me from Canada writes: The writer is not asking opinions or judging the nudism or the nudists socities, or naturists resorts.
    IMO, the nudist friends have all the right of spend the holidays in a naturist resort without offering any explanations to their friends. Unless they spent their holidays together for the last XXX years, thw writer does't have the right to "google" the holidays activities of his friends
    Keep your place as a friend and share with your friends only the subjects your friends wish to share with you
    Ask to yourself: in these 30 years, did your tell to your friends ALL your activities?
  53. Dave Fleming from Toronto, Canada writes: But I can't seem to get beyond the kinkiness of the forced, artificial structure, the magazines, pictures, web-sites but mostly the seeming abuse of underage children as mentioned above. It takes on a seedy tone and there is nothing "natural" about it. *********************************************************** As a dedicated naturist, I certainly agree with you. What my education from other naturists has tought me is that if it's sexual, which includes beauty contests, imho, then it's not naturist. They may have occured occasionally in the past history, but in the last 20 years, they have been frowned upon and not supported by or organized by any naturist club that is 'naturist' in North America. Why? Because it goes against the concept of naturism that says we shalt not judge by the appearance of ones body. We do judge behaviour though. When a club organizes this kind of beauty pagent, I suspect that the owners are 'swinger' types. Of 10 or more 'naturist' clubs in Ontario, there is only 1 that caters to 'swingers', and this is the only club that did contests. But since swingers have to have a place to go, I am happy that there is one place that attracts them, and they don't populate the other 10 clubs. They do keep swinging activities out of the clubhouse and confined to private trailers, therefore they conduct themselves in a civilized way, and certainly don't involve the kids. Naturist clubs have an excellent reputation since the members are very protective. In Europe, their mindset is totally different and anything they do is considered just fun and not meant to be sexually exploitive in any way. If you think it is, then perhaps you don't understand the true culture. I want to emulate the European free thinking way of living, and not believe the paranoias that North American general population has. If you have any concerns about some ad in the Going Natural, contact the editor, and get an explaination.(OT)
  54. The Bell Curve from Canada writes: I had trouble figuring out what the point of this story is.

    Technically we are ALL nudists - it just depends where and with whom we share this tendency.

    I believe it was Sartre or was it Marx who said: "we are at our most honest when we are naked in the company of others"
  55. Mike L. from Canada writes: Well, count me out as a fan of nudism. No problem with my wife in the confines of our bedroom. However, I, and most of my friends have hit the age where we most likely are infinitely better looking clothed than naked.

    I'd rather not, thank you, be at a party where I am visually assaulted by a couple of 60 y.o. hairy beer bellies. Ugh.

    Whatever floats your boat I guess, but count me out.
  56. carol brown from North Jones, United States writes: To me, being nude is being the same person but in a sensually charged ambience that is very pleasurable. Indeed I prefer being with my family and other sociable mixed gender naturists in clubs and resorts for all of our recreation or relaxation. My personal best was three weeks vacation at a resort in France, with everything except sandals put away for the entire duration. The strangeness of shirt and shorts to depart there was almost as strange as becoming a naturist many years before. As regards sex-life; being nude together promotes an appreciation of the pleasure that can be given one to another. If you find nudity offensive for its own sake, ask yourself WHY. Naturist looks like you and I and come from all walks of life. You will find it to be a relaxing lifestyle that is free of the daily stress we all experience. Naturist groups like naturistspace.org are looking for people who are open minded and want to enjoy the company of others of a like mind.
  57. Blind InTheSun from Canada writes: Nudism is fine among children. Among adults, where the ravages of time and experiences have elongated, sagged, stretched, puckered or shrunken (?!?) the flesh, nudism is just weird. I know that my friends use a toilet but I don't need to see that either. What ever happened to modesty? But whatever. It's hardly worth getting enraged that some people like to run around all flopsy.
  58. More or Less from Canada writes: @Blind InTheSun from Canada - and it's that attitude that you must be perfect that gives rise to poor body image. If a person is saggy, so what? Wrinkled? So what? Paunchy, fat, stretched etc. So what? We won't have the baby soft & smooth skin we were born with our whole life--that's reality. I'd rather care about what kind of person you are than how your skin covers your body.

    If the writers to this column have your attitude, then it would be understandable if their friends are reluctant to invite them to share naturism.
  59. Paul Jones from kitchener, Canada writes: Invite them over for drinks one night, and answer the door nude.

    Problem solved, and no embarassment for your friends.
    You might experience some, but if they're really nudists they won't make you feel uncomfortable.
  60. Robert Kagan from Not a Leafs fan, Canada writes: The comment about old high school friends not being able to let a person grow and change is so very true. I finally packed it in with my old friends for the same reason. It was like they were offended that I might be different. Got tiriing being baited in to acting like I did 20 years ago.
  61. Buck Rogers from Canada writes: Blind InTheSun from Canada writes: Nudism is fine among children. Among adults, where the ravages of time and experiences have elongated, sagged, stretched, puckered or shrunken (?!?) the flesh, nudism is just weird...

    watch the final few minutes of Love in the Age of Cholera

    and you might change your tune...

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