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JIQUILILLO, NICARAGUA — My eyes are stinging, my nose is running, but, worst of all, my ego is bruised. I have been sucked in by what I'm calling the Keanu fallacy: Whatever dim-bulb actor Keanu Reeves can do - in this case, surf - I can do too.
As an undercover cop infiltrating a gang of bank-robbing beach bums, Reeves picked up the sport in a matter of minutes in the 1991 cult classic Point Break.
In 2002's Blue Crush, surfing suddenly got a lot more female-friendly with Kate Bosworth and Michelle Rodriguez trying to win gold at Hawaii's famous Pipeline competition.
I was inspired by the movies, but my first outing as a would-be surfer girl, aged 34, is proving more challenging than I expected. I'm taking lessons at a new surf camp in Nicaragua, and the salt water of the Pacific is making my office worker eyes squint almost uncontrollably. And forget hanging 10 - I'm having difficulty just hanging on: While lying on the board, waiting for the perfect wave, I'll make the tiniest adjustment to my balance and promptly tip into the water.
Beginners at Monty's Surf Camp in Jiquilillo, Nicarauga, get instruction on the beach before hitting the waves.
"Patience," my instructor tells me. Canadian Donald (Monty) Montgomery, the camp's owner, is not worried about my lack of progress. "The key thing to remember is that learning is about repetition," he says encouragingly. "Just get comfortable catching the waves while lying on your board, then move to a pushup, then try kneeling and then try standing. And, of course, have fun."
Located in Jiquilillo, a small fishing community of about 1,000, Monty's Surf Camp is about a three-hour drive northwest of Managua, the capital, and an entirely different experience than the traditional beach-resort pleasures of Nicaragua's more developed tourist area, San Juan del Sur. At most, Monty can host 20 people, so you won't be fighting for space on the beach or on a wave - common problems in Costa Rica or Hawaii. You might, however, have to get out of the way of some of the locals' livestock - chickens, pigs, oxen - as they wander along the sand.
Farm animals aside, Jiquilillo's beach is ideal for our small group of beginners. There's no undertow, Monty swears there are no sharks (although stingrays are not uncommon) and the brown-sugar-coloured sand is free of coral and rocks - dangerous obstacles during a wipe-out. Best of all, the waves are just one to two metres at high tide.
Monty's teaching philosophy has me and three other tourists lying on surfboards on the beach practising technique for a good half-hour before he even suggests we try to catch some waves.
His affable manner makes paddling in sand and perfecting the pop - the (hopefully) sudden jump from a prone position to standing - feel less ridiculous. His background as a gym teacher in Kamloops, B.C., is on full display.
So is his sense of adventure. The 42-year-old opened the camp, with its four thatched huts, in December, fulfilling a dream of creating his own tropical oasis.
One giant hut includes an open-air lounge and dining area where guests hang out, swapping stories while waiting for the tide to come in, or chow down on traditional dishes such as gallo pinto - rice and beans served with salsa and a crumbly, tangy white cheese.
With the hypnotic roar of the ocean interrupted only by the occasional clucking chicken and the soothing rustle of palm leaves in the breeze, it's often so peaceful that it's hard to summon the motivation to tackle the waves. Manana - tomorrow - is often uttered.
Some might say opening a business in a remote town in an undeveloped country is in the Montgomery blood: His brother, Charles, wrote The Last Heathen, the prize-winning account of retracing their great-grandfather's missionary tour of Melanesia.
"I love the ocean and the Latino culture - the tranquillo, relaxed way of doing things. And it's taught me a lot: how to be happy and enjoy life without necessarily having a lot," Monty says about his venture. "Plus, I really don't enjoy the Canadian winters."
Gazing out at the ocean from one of the camp's shaded hammocks and sipping on a Tona, one of Nicaragua's national beers, winter seems like a distant memory.
During the dry season, December through May, the daily temperature rarely drops below 30 C. The water remains warm along this stretch of coast even during the rainy season - June through November. Monty has more than a dozen surfboards available for rent, including longboards for beginners and shortboards for those who know what they are doing. My favourite is one of the foam-coated longboards, which provides a little more stability and is easier on the elbows. By Day 3, I can get up on my knees before losing my balance and crashing into the waves. I'm assured it's pretty good for an old-timer.
But it's not quite good enough. On my last day of surfing, Gus Baer, a fellow traveller from San Diego, Calif., who regularly hits his hometown beach with his board, is determined to see me stand. He graciously volunteers to stand in front of me in the water, holding my board steady, watching the waves approaching and cueing me to paddle when the perfect break begins to form behind me.
"Not yet. No, not that one. Not yet. Okay, now go! Paddle, paddle, paddle!" Baer yells, and I'm off, trying to gain momentum to catch that magic moment when the water just folds into a crest and I can ride it home.
As the thundering wave suddenly shoots me forward, I manage to spring up into a low crouch for a few metres before I topple into the water.
The sense of power, the rush of adrenalin is undeniable, and I'm hooked. Maybe those surfer dudes really are onto something special.
*****
Pack your bags
GETTING THERE
There are no direct flights from Canada to Nicaragua, but eight airlines, including TACA International, Lacsa, American, Continental and Delta, fly into Managua international airport, typically departing from Houston and Miami. Canadian citizens need a valid passport for entry. You have to pay a $5 entry fee for a tourist card, good for 30 days, and a $32 departure tax.
Hitting the waves
Monty's Surf Camp 505-884 446; http://www.nicaraguasurfbeach.com. A variety of packages are available. A four-day stay starts at $365, including meals. Surf lessons cost $10 an hour and board rentals are $15 a day or $10 for a half-day.
More INFORMATION
Nicaragua Tourism
