Charlyne Landgraff and Jason Fothergill had been dating just two months when they decided to take the plunge.
They settled on a weekend in April. Jason picked up Charlyne at her office – excited and a bit nervous – and they drove 21/2 hours from Vancouver to Whistler. When they arrived, they checked into a deluxe room at the Fairmont and let the hotel take care of the rest.
By the time they returned home, “happily exhausted,” it was clear that their relationship had overcome its first true challenge. Yes, the twentysomethings had survived their first “holidate.”
Romantic getaways are nothing new. Most hotels offer weekend packages for lovers clocking serious alone time. Some concierges have become marriage-proposal consultants. Increasingly, though, front desks are also being blitzed with phone calls from guests anxious to impress new girlfriends and boyfriends – in some cases on their second or third dates.
Sure, some new couples are ready for 'the view' at the Empire State Building. Others hedge their bets on holidates with two-bedroom suites. (Eric Thayer/Reuters)
Related Articles
And hotels are launching new programs catering to couples on their first trip as a “we.”
Take Fairmont Hotels & Resorts. Intrigued by what their concierges were saying, the chain embarked on a research project with the Canadian dating website Lavalife. What they discovered: More than 41 per cent of singles would travel with a partner two months into dating; and more than 27 per cent of men and 19 per cent of women would hit the road after just four weeks.
All of which affects how cozy couples want to get.
“With a ‘holidate,' romantic undertones aren't as heavily at the forefront,” says Mike Taylor, a spokesman for Fairmont. “They're really trying to get to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere. If this is your second date, maybe you don't want the roses or the honeymoon suite. You're just breaking the ice.”
I should know. I spent one second date on a trip to Montreal. We were living in different countries at the time and wanted to reunite on neutral territory. But it was a risky move. What if we were wrong about our instincts? What if we got on each other's nerves? Did I even remember what he looked like? And where would we stay? I ended up booking two hotels – one with a pull-out sofa – and crossed my fingers. We're now married. But that weekend in Montreal was some icebreaker.
Appropriately enough then, Fairmont recently rolled out “icebreaker” packages aimed directly at holidaters. They not only emphasize romance, but also keep guests busy during the longest – and potentially most angst-ridden – stretch of time they'll spend together.
At the Fairmont Lake Louise in Alberta, for example, that might mean ice skating, ski lessons and yoga à deux. At the Fairmont Chicago, the package includes a couple's massage, a five-course tasting menu and a “Kama Sutra turndown” (it involves various gels and a feather tickler). And in Whistler, Charlyne and Jason went on a three-hour ziptrek – where they were guided along steel cables suspended above a whitewater river that flows between two mountains.
And the Fairmont isn't the only hotel trying to woo customers wooing each other. The Ritz-Carlton in Orlando, Fla., has a package for pairs hoping to make the city “the first mark on their love story map.” It includes a lakeview room and tickets to the Discover Cove water park.
Maria Roa-Warnant, nightlife concierge at the Four Seasons Miami, has itineraries for new couples feeling out the town – and each other.
“I tell them to avoid Miami's busy club scene and look for more relaxing activities that encourage talking and bonding,” she says. “A private yoga class followed by a couple's massage in one of the hotel's poolside cabanas, or a sundown picnic at the Fairchild Tropical Garden.”
Then there's the Library Hotel in New York. It doesn't offer anything for new romances per se. But with its view of the New York Public Library and a Dewey Decimal theme, it's a hot spot for bookish sweethearts. The most popular room: 800.001 – which in the Dewey system corresponds with Erotic Literature.
Mind you, the intimacy of travel – regardless of a steamy hotel package or a sexy room – doesn't always have a happy ending. For some couples, travelling together for the first time represents a do-or-die situation. Holly Bentz, the author of Dating for I Do: The Single's Guide to Establishing a Lifetime Relationship, tells readers: “Romantic getaways have a way of presenting significant disparities.”
And Bentz's website (www.lulu.com/datingforido) is certainly chockablock with case studies. For instance, Jenny Aldridge, who discovered on a trip to New York that her new boyfriend was a manic-depressive who was capricious about taking his medication. Or Landon McDaniels, who chartered a sailboat with a girlfriend only to find out she refused to lend a hand on deck.
Needless to say, these relationships never made it to “I do.” Nor, seemingly, did those of one serial dater who the concierge at the Fairmont Boston Copley Plaza says has returned for many holidates in the past 21/2 years.
Still, this kind of sleuthing can spare couples months of misery. And some hotels even cater to tentative types. Hilton's Homewood Suites division, for instance, boasts that its two-bedroom suites are perfect for those in need of a bit of “breathing room.”
Other hotels tackle the delicate issue of the shared bathroom by offering rooms appointed with two. The Queen Victoria room at Seattle's Warwick hotel features a master bedroom with two en suites – one with a whirlpool tub with a view over downtown Seattle. Ditto the Park Hyatt in Toronto, whose 705-square-foot Ambassador Suite has views of the Royal Ontario Museum from one of its two loos.
Back at the Fairmont, holidates are being updated and fine-tuned as well. One Vancouver hotel is drawing up a package that offers two conjoined guest rooms at a special rate. “If they don't end up using the second room,” Taylor says, “they'll get a 50-per-cent refund.” This could be a boon to virtual daters meeting in person for the first time and uneasy about sharing a room.
However they meet, for people well suited to one another, a change of scenery and routine can highlight why they are meant to be together.
Mandy Gresh, 28, a manager at the Toronto-based newsletter Travelzoo.com, planned a holidate at Fairmont Le Château Frontenac in Quebec City just six weeks into her relationship with Glen Bastedo. She spent days hunting down the cheapest fares online – not an easy feat, since they were travelling during Winter Carnival – and settled on a flight that connected in Montreal.
“We missed our connection because our plane was delayed in Toronto,” she says. “I was panicking and got really worked up. But Glen was able to calm me down. He kept assuring me it wasn't a big deal. And in the end I didn't even care about the flight because I was with him.”
Bastedo and the Château Frontenac both passed the holidate test with aplomb. Now, Gresh is busy planning the couple's next trip – this time to New York City. “Fingers crossed,” she says. “I have a lot of plans.”
Special to The Globe and Mail
14
