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ELLEN HIMELFARB

Globe and Mail Update

Latest comment posted at 8:47 PM EDT 02/05/08

A couple's first trip used to be to ‘meet the parents.' But no more: A growing number of sweethearts are putting their relationship to the travel test just a few weeks in – and hotels are catering to new romances. Welcome to the ‘holidate' ...Read the full article

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  1. Andrew Toth from Oliver, BC, Canada writes: The way of the present and future, I believe, and not for just 20 somethings. With what the law courts have done with divorce ruling in Canada, this makes real sense. This is truely 50 / 50. More of this is what hotels will target, as they get the message from couples, wanting no more then a fun time. You know what this will cost each of the parties "up front", so to speak. Future Shock is here.
  2. S B from Canada writes: Vegan holidates
  3. T Rimmer from SW Manitoba, Canada writes: Somehow, the practice seems a little shallow to me, and in danger of expectations being set that the reality of marriage or long-term commitment cannot possibly keep up on a consistent basis. The "honeymoon" or "Cinderella" quality of the weekend "holidate" at a fancy resort cannot possibly allow you to understand how a person is in every day life.

    Getting to know someone in order to decide if you wish to pursue a long-term relationship with them should probably be centred around real life -- not something that involves champagne, a concierge, and a resort whose ambition it is to make the experience as fantasy-like as your wallet will allow.
  4. Andrew Toth from Oliver, BC, Canada writes: (Getting to know someone in order to decide if you wish to pursue a long-term relationship with them should probably be centred around real life -- not something that involves champagne, a concierge, and a resort whose ambition it is to make the experience as fantasy-like as your wallet will allow)

    The idea of this is not a long term relationship. Where did you miss the point that it was? 20 somethings are saying they are not into the long term thing, must not have worked for their parents so choices have been made it seems.
    I mean what else could we have expected when divorce rates exceed 55 per cent? I'm not saying that is good, I am saying this is the future.
  5. Me Too from West, Canada writes: My girlfriend of 6 months (at the time) and I went on a 1 month holiday together. Back at home we had careers and family. We knew each other well, but it wasn't like we had big blocks of time together.

    We didn't do the hotel thing. We did a lot of camping, traveling and outdoor adventure stuff. Navigating around strange cities, hiking in adverse conditions and doing new things together give you a real insight as to what your potential mate looks like when the going gets tough. Ever drive with someone for 14 hours in one day ? Ever get 10 miles into the campsite only to discover that the cooking pot was left back in the truck ? Throw in some cold, exhaustion, hunger and generally miserable conditions and its like Survivor between two people. Do you really get along or not ?

    The good news for me is that my gf is great. When the going gets tough she is someone I want to be with. Our relationship blossomed on our trip. It was an excellent experience for us. I highly recommend it to couples. I think the holidate - minus the luxuries - is a great thing.
  6. victoria m from Toronto, Canada writes: Travelling with someone doesn't necessarily tell you everything about who they are from day to day, but it does reveal ALOT of characteristics of a person that you wouldn't learn by just going on dates, or even spending a weekend at their house. Travelling, by nature of logistics, monetary commitment, scheduling and legal issues can be a very stressful situation. Missed connections, lost luggage, unexpected illness, fear of heights, problems with passports and red-eye flights can truly bring out the worst or the best in a person. I believe that you never really know a person until you've travelled with them and I know alot of single people and those in relationships use "the first big trip" as a litmus test into who the other person really is. If the person you're dating gets really pissed off because you've come down with the flu on the first day of vacation, then will they be truly supportive if you are struck with a more serious illness down the road? If you can't agree on the level of luxury of the trip or how you'll split the expenses, how will you later agree on a car, house, mortgage and dual income partnership? I think these holidates are a great way to get to know someone early on.
  7. Rollo Tomasi from Belgium writes: The best part of the hotel is being able to trash the bedroom anytime with sex, such as right after check-in. Afterwards, simply call housekeeping to 'make up the room' while you go out to do something else fun, together.
  8. Flummoxed from Canada South from Canada writes: Handy litmus test for me-if you spell "a lot" as one word, there will be no need for a "holidate".
  9. Andrew Toth from Oliver, BC, Canada writes: Holidate = whats mine is mine and what is yours is mine. It is no longer, "for richer or for poorer, and in sickness and in health, and until death do we .....". As if it ever was, haha. No, for sure things have changed, don't get sick on that first day, for sure.....someone (meaning you) could be left stranded and alone in bed with the flu, in a foriegn land, with all of it having been charged to your credit cards.
  10. M Hawk from Canada writes: I don't think it's a bad idea at all. It's hard to get to really know a person on evenings and weekends, when you're generally exhausted after work and not always in a 'fun' mood.
    In fact, my boyfriend and I went on a trip to Disneyland and we saw sides of eachother we never knew existed! (good ones, mind you) It was certainly a nice shock, and definetely strengthened our relationship.
  11. l h from Germany writes: Consummerism is king! What a ridiculous idea, whatever happened to normal dating? A brilliant marketing strategy, though.
  12. Hydrogen Bob from Toronto, Canada writes: I am in the Information Technology industry. When we test software we execute test cases that put the system under extreme stress with conditions that meet or exceed worse case scenarios. Next time you are flying, think about that. Now, for a couple that has been dating a month or two, how good a relationship test do you think is a vacation at a five star resort?
  13. Lesley Carol Prince from Hamilton, Canada writes: I'm in I h from Germany's camp. Consumerism IS king in North America. Sometimes, the answer isn't throwing money at something. Extreme camping sounds interesting but rather contrived. Long walks and coffee together can also guide budding relationships along. "Holidate" - for those who will.... and those who haven't already maxed out their credit cards.

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