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He's driving to work, she's driving golf balls

SIRI AGRELL

From Thursday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 3:08 AM EDT 06/05/08

Research shows that couples who retire at different times can experience added tension in their relationship ...Read the full article

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  1. CD W from Canada writes: Retired, enjoying family and life. A positive story, hope I dont see them next week in the finance section about how much dog food they have to eat because they did not save money. OOPS CBC and Teacher's pension plan, no need to buy lottery tickets for these 2. Good going.
  2. Stu _ from Windsor, Canada writes: I would hope that the retired person does all the cleaning, cooking, errands, etc. to help the burden of the working individual. I am a little biased. My wife will likely retire 5 years before I do.
  3. Gogh Forit from Canada writes: I have a question. Why is Mrs. Vasey referred to as Ms. I mean they're married so why doesn't the writer use the proper form instead of the feminist form. Did anyone ask Mrs. Vasey if she wanted to be referred to in the singular form.

    May Siri Agrell can provide an answer.
  4. Caroline Astley from Vancouver, Canada writes: This doesn't just apply to retirees. My husband owns his own company and as such, has the freedom to work the hours he chooses. He goes to the gym during the day, can swan off to go skiing, and often meets friends for lunch. I on the otherhand work a long day and commute to it to boot! I have learned that he does work very hard to earn the time off, but sometimes I can't help but resent his freedoms!
  5. Richard Hawrelak from Sarnia, Canada writes: He's driving to work, she's driving golf balls.

    This is how it was when we (my better half and I) first started out in Sania in 1960. I worked at Dow, my wife taught kindergarten, had the summers off. My wife and her buddy golfed 18 holes, EVERY DAY, and we spouses joined them for another 18 after work. This was well before retirement. In retirement, we now talk about it.
  6. WILLY SIO from Brampton, Canada writes: I have to agree that people who do not retire simultaneously, do endure a bit of inconvenience. But sometimes in real life it is rather difficult for both spouses to arive at a pre-determined date for retirement. About 3 years ago after we returned from vacation in Thailand and Myanmar, my wife got ill on the trip and that got compounded with travel fatigue and her work overload spilled over into the mix. Within six weeks she suffered work anxiety and decided to retire. Her health recovered but started feeling loss of companionship as I was still firing on all cylinders at work. However, it took me a few weeks to realise her loneliness, and out of the blue, I decided to retire. My family was completely surprised by this fateful decision, but I gave my employer four months notice. This was well received and they gave me a wonderful retirement party which I captured on film for future reminiscence. After another four months, my children organized a surprise retirement party on my 70th birthday and we have nothing but lovely memories of the event. We live, play and do things together as a well-oiled team and hope to enjoy the rest of our golden years in sweet memories. All we pray for is good health so that every morning we don't have to worry which different part of our body is aching.
  7. John Stanton from Canada writes: This sounds like Leaside except not retired. The nanny is raising the kids and mom is off getting a massage then tennis, a little golf, shop, then come home to a cooked meal while hubby is slaving on Bay Street...ha ha
  8. sudhir jain from Calgary, Canada writes: Women working is a recent phenomenon. In first few years of our married life, my wife was "at home". In fact, she was often away from home when I returned from work. So when she retired recently, it was just like the old days for me. The problem would have arisen if I retired and she was still at work. She would have expected me to have the meals ready which were to her standard. No way I could do it, very few people on this planet can. That is why I will work till my dying day.
  9. ck f from Canada writes: To Gogh Forit from Canada:

    The reason for "Ms." instead of "Mrs." is that there is an imbalance in the traditionally used titles: "Miss" and "Mrs." announce the person's marital status, but "Mr." doesn't. If marital status is to be considered relevant, then we need two titles for men: one for single men, and one for married men. If marital status is not to be considered relevant, then we need only one title for women -- hence, "Ms." That is not a feminist form so much as simply a way of putting the genders on equal footing in terms of the way they are addressed or described.

    I like respectful, formal forms of address as much as anyone, but I don't see why they should include information on marital status (or gender for that matter).

    Cheers
  10. Andrea C from Canada writes: In general, Ms is used unless the woman specifically requests to be called Mrs.
  11. Eric the Red from Uzbekistan writes: "When Paul Vasey came home from work as a CBC morning radio host in Victoria, he would often find his house empty, his wife, Marilyn, nowhere to be found."

    And this is a problem??

    Paul - stock the fridge full of beer, so when you come home to an empty house, crack open a cold one and enjoy time to yourself.

    Sheesh.

    Boomers - worrying about what to do if one of their spouses is away?

    It's called a hobby.
  12. jack Bauer from Canada writes: Here here Eric you are on to something..

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