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The dark side of mentoring

REBECCA DUBE

From Monday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 3:14 PM EDT 06/05/08

When the protégé backstabs or the mentor steals ideas, you know the feel-good process has gone awry ...Read the full article

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  1. Alistair McLaughlin from Canada writes: Mentoring is just another buzzword management gurus can toss around when writing their books and overcharging for their speaking engagements.
  2. Sharon Graham from Canada writes: At my last job I had a great mentor, who acted as such without needing a formal mentoring program. He was just someone who was great at his job, enjoyed teaching, and wanted everyone in the office to succeed.

    I'm not sure if a formal mentoring program can always be successful, as not everyone has pure motives at work. Instead, an office culture that focuses more on teamwork and less on blame will probably allow more people to act as mentors to newer members of the staff.
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    Mr. Justice from Obama = UNKNOWN . . . McCain vs. Hillary = McCain vs. McCain, Canada writes: I knew two persons who had mentors; both ended up turning on them and doing so with anger . . . and being fierce competitors to the men who had helped them, even taking some of their clients. Both said (different phrasings): "Why shouldn't I do this ? I had learned everything he had to teach. I have to do what's right for ME."

    "Me, me, me."

    I hope that these guys learned a lesson about helping others; gratitude is, like, SO old-fashioned.
  4. Alistair McLaughlin from Canada writes: Sharon Graham is right. Mentoring is something you are good at or you aren't. And it's something that a healthy corporate culture allows to occur naturally. It can't really be enhanced by any sort of official program.
  5. A Chinaman from Canada writes: I just hate the word 'mentoring'. It is just a mutual beneficial relationship.
  6. Richard Daystrom from Toronto, Canada writes: Ir's all been seen before on that Seinfeld episode about the mentor.
  7. Alistair McLaughlin from Canada writes: I was assigned to mentor a new employee about two years ago. However, I mistook the email from my boss to read that I was to "torment" the new employee. By the time I discovered my error, the poor bas tard had quit.
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    Howdy Hicks from Scrotum, ON, Canada writes: Back in the late 80s I mentored someone.

    When my department changed Directors, my new Director went to my "mentee" to undermine my position with the CEO, to have my budget cut.

    Realizing this, I confided in my mentee, of a new restructuring plan I had for the department; a plan which he took upon as his own. He did not know I had already arranged a move to another area of the company.

    The restructuring plan was plausible and appeared inspired, but it was not practical - it failed in two years and my "mentee" was out as was the new Director for their folly.

    I had taught my "mentee" all he knew but not all I knew.

    I went on to finish my career am now retired with a full pension index linked.

    I did not take on any further "mentees"
  9. Sam G from Toronto, Canada writes: Howdy Hicks, I think there is a movie in your story: power, innocence, backstabbing, vanity and long-held grudge. If the mentee has been homeless for a while, we could make a sequel as well.

    I had several mentors - whom I paid out of my own pocket for their service. Result? Financial independence before (way before) age of 40.

    You get what you pay for.
  10. Globe Insider subscriber content
    Howdy Hicks from Scrotum ON, Canada writes: Actually the little pr**k went on to do quite well for himself in related fields (although the poor Director dropped from the horizon - never to be seen again).

    I am not quite sure what part, if any, I played in mentee's subsequent success

    We don't exchange Xmas cards but do touch base from decade to decade - an act of "remembrance" as it were.

    Like legal battles - there are no real winners - I lost; he lost; the Director lost; but more importantly the Company lost.
  11. Albin Forone from Canada writes: Never had a mentor, but I do recall grad school seminars where certain students, invariably mediocrities, would visibly clam up when roundtable discussion turned to the topic they were writing their papers about - not going to give away any "trade secrets." The fact is, open discussion is the best way to puncture any self-hypnotic self-deluding bubble you might be in. Weigh that against the minor risk that somebody might gain a thought for themselves.
  12. ginny ! from Canada writes: The real "dark side" of mentoring is workplaces where it can't be found, anywhere, formally or otherwise, for a number of reasons: job insecurity, poor management, petty jealousy. The CBC is a particularly bad case in this regard.
  13. K S from Velo City, Canada writes: I had a very good experience with a mentor, then a very bad one. Thankfully the good mentor and I are still in touch and although I left that company we can laugh about some of the absurdities we both saw. The bad mentor saw themself as a wise benefactor to whom I should stay an underling, presumably for the rest of my career. I watched other people doing the same work as me thrive and get promoted while I stayed where I was, soaking up lots of knowledge (and added responsibilities) but getting no credit whatsoever for it. Thankfully I got transferred away from this person. Despite the bitter aftertaste, I still wouldn't have passed up the opportunity - I did learn a lot of new skills. But there had to be a severing of the mentoring relationship in order for me to progress.
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    Howdy Hicks from CBC - HQ Central - Scrotum ON, Canada writes: Hi Ginny ! from Canada;

    CBC - hey ho what a bunch they are!!

    They lack any regulatory process so are like a loose cannon on the good ship "Ethics"; the Ombudsman, being the only "self regulatory" instrument - (a clown deserving the Order of Canada for humour)- they drift through the haze of perceived reality accomplishing nothing.

    Leaving the poor idiot who pays for this "service" standing with the bill - a mockery on reality and personal affront to those that expect from the CBC credibility - asking why????
  15. ginny ! from Canada writes: howdy hicks, you couldn't be more inaccurate and off-topic.
  16. Dick Nails from Canada writes: Howdy Hicks from Scrotum, ON, Canada writes: Back in the late 80s I mentored someone. I went on to finish my career am now retired with a full pension index linked.

    >> You are a perfect example why govt does not do anything but waste billions and screw up. And worse, you get an indexed pension while those of us in the taxpaying sector keep having to work to keep you in your comfy hammock. Next time you chow down at the trough, swallow deep and choke on bone you pig.
  17. Jay D from Canada writes: Interesting. Mentoring works best if the mentor understands that the mentee is not exactly like him or her. The worst mentoring I've seen resembles cloning where the mentee is expected to take the exact same views as the mentor. I can see how emotional entanglement might occur in some mentoring relationships because the mentee is unwilling or unable to walk by himself. In such cases ending the relationship is probably best to allow both parties to get on with work life. Pairing younger employees with more experienced ones does make sense to allow a younger employee to understand systems that are in place and how they work. Maybe in time the younger employee will design a better way to do things, but initially learning why things have been done in a certain way is good knowledge to build from.

    Dick Nails: What do you suggest? Should we outsource all government services? Many government services are necessary for citizens and many government employees work with counterparts in other countries. Is there waste? Yep. Is there waste in private enterprise? Yep. Does the waste in private enterprise hurt shareholders? Yep. Maybe you would enjoy Mongolia where there is only a 10% flat tax on individual income? I'm just saying there are worse places to live.

  18. Albin Forone from Canada writes: Hicks is apparently writing about his career in a private company, and even has snide things to say about the CBC, which is no less a mixed bag than HicksCo. Nails, you seem to need a mentor, or some other remedial agency, possibly governmental, to help you read the English language. My tax dollars well spent on that.
  19. Tkk Z from Canada writes: This article title of 'mentoring gone wrong' is off base, in the case of GE.

    Jack Welch was Jeff Immelt boss, not mentor. Jeff raised through the ranks via many other bosses and attended GE famous management school. By the time he and Jack worked together Jeff was already senior exec and has proven his ability. He did not need mentoring by anybody, but certainly benefited by working for Jack.

    When Jack criticized Jeff recently it was not 'mentoring gone wrong'. There was never a mentor relationship and nothing to go wrong. Jack has kept pretty quite about Jeff and GE since his retirement, a credit to Jack. But Jeff deserved to be roundly criticized for the recent profit shocker. It was a major ball-dropper and unacceptable performance for a CEO of GE caliber. And Jack, as former CEO and shareholder, did his duty by hitting Jeff the hardest.
  20. Placido Durango from Here to Eternity, Canada writes: "Mentor" a venerable word and a decent thing to do; conceptually corrupted and debased by inappropriate and over-use in the last decade.

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