This column is dedicated to homeowners who are despairing of their renovations ever being finished.
As for my own myriad projects, they continue to creep along. Our house feels like an amalgam of little niggling tasks. Almost every room has something that needs doing but often gets put aside in favour of more pressing issues. Personally, I think prolonging the angst of things undone speaks to a masochistic bent.
Add to the list jobs that, although small in scope, seem to consume huge amounts of time before you can check them off. Staining wooden transitions between flooring types is one. Witness the process: measure, cut, check the fit, then fiddle with the fit until it's right. This can take half a day. Then screw the transition piece down, apply the first coat of stain, and barricade against dogs, cats and humans. The next day, fix where dog, cat, human or any combination of the above have messed it up. Repeat.
Before you know it, a week has passed, but out of habit and even though the barricades are gone, you spend several more days high-stepping over the threshold as though afflicted with a goose-stepping tick.
The connections for the guest bathroom sink. Changing from a vanity to a pedestal will involve a great deal of plumbing and drywalling. (ELIZABETH RAND-WATKINSON)
Related Articles
It's no wonder the uninitiated may fear they're going mad, convinced that it truly will never end. If you're me, it probably won't ever end but most renovators aren't die-hards and should take heart. Taking a realistic approach also helps.
The biggest project on the go in our house right now is the tarting-up of a guest bedroom and its ensuite bathroom. The floor of the ensuite has been professionally tiled with ceramic and I've painted all the surfaces that won't be wallpapered, though it's disconcerting how the old "sickly hospital green" paint colour is influencing the new, paler wall colour ("Gladiolus" by Ralph Lauren).
Although the new colour won't "read" properly until the hospital green is eradicated, wallpapering is on hold until certain holes are repaired. These holes were revealed because we're replacing a 48-inch-wide vanity with a compact pedestal sink.
If you'd never done this before you might think, no big deal: Take the vanity out, plug the pedestal sink in. Unfortunately, the laws of renovation (kissing cousins to Murphy's Law) don't work that way. This so-called minor bathroom reno is a good example of that.
The original plumbing configuration had water and drain pipes performing all kinds of calisthenics, running in and out of two perpendicular walls. One of those walls is shared with our tenant space and the pipes were connected to the apartment's washing machine. Previously, it was all hidden behind the vanity. The pedestal sink, however, threatened to reveal a mess of pipes strangely reminiscent of my computer screensaver unless we did some fancy replumbing.
Resolving lighting was, again, not a case of merely swapping one fixture for another. The old fixture lined up with the sink in the vanity but the new one would have to be moved to line up with the new pedestal sink that would be in a slightly different location because of it being much smaller than the vanity. That required a new junction box and rewiring, resulting in another hole in the wall.
The holes aren't a big deal. In the world of drywall, tape, mud and sanding, a small hole can take about the same time to fix as a big hole. It was the complicated extra plumbing and electrical work that added time and cost.
And that's my point. It all goes hand-in-hand with renovating — once the realities of making something happen are revealed, a project can take on a whole new complexion (in our case, sickly hospital green). As I said earlier, you'd best go into projects expecting this. Not that it will drive you any less crazy.
The seven stages of renovating
Denial: This is the reaction to the discrepancy between your budget and the contractor's cost estimate.
Anger: It's sparked by how long your contractor is taking, although he's probably doing his best, poor sod.
Bargaining: This is usually done with your contractor over the issues of time and money, but can involve neighbours fed up with construction noise and mess. Bribes of food and cocktails aren't unheard of.
Blame: You remind your spouse at least once a day that, "I never wanted a new kitchen. I can cook on a camp stove. This is all your doing."
Depression: This comes with the realization that you're committed and there's no turning back unless you're prepared to stop the project and use a Port-o-Potty for the rest of your life.
Acceptance: You become resigned to the fact that it cost twice as much and took twice as long as you expected. Interestingly, most people reach this stage once their project is 97.5 per cent complete.
