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With these things, I thee wed

From Saturday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 2:30 PM EDT 10/06/08

Planning an at-home wedding this summer? Danny Sinopoli suggests 12 must-have items for every style of nuptials, while Valerie McTavish offers tips and trends from planning pros ...Read the full article

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  1. C Santmara from Toronto, Canada writes: $950 for a candelabra? champagne bucket for a centerpiece? fancy napkins? Talk about blowing a budget. If you can elope and not incure anger and hurt to your family and friends, so be it. But if you have family and friends who want to celebrate your wedding with you, three words of advice: KEEP IT SIMPLE!

    As a newlywed, who has heard a million times that our wedding was the best ever, four elements to a great wedding:

    Make sure the FOOD is good.

    Make sure the MUSIC is geared towards your guests, specially if you have a multi-ethnic wedding... a good mix of music will have everyone on the dance floor, even if they never heard the music.

    And keep the SPEACHES SHORT and simple, preferably during the course of a meal. The last thing people want is to be sitting after the meal and listen to speaches or watch father-daughter dancing...

    And keep it as informal as possible: no slideshow presentations, no elaborate protocol, keep it fun. And remember, something will go wrong, no matter what, but that doesn't matter, people are there for you, not criticize your decor, flower pieces, etc... Majority of people will not remember any of those details, unless they are in the stages of planning their own wedding.
  2. bethany middleton from Vancouver, Canada writes: informal and relaxing is where it's at. 'must haves' my a$$. all the you 'must have' is the two spouses to be and two witnesses and a justice of the peace. The rest is completely optional.
  3. M Hawk from Canada writes: Large weddings disgust me. The food generally sucks, the decor tacky, the evening generally boring........not to mention the guests unimpressed that they had to purchase clothing just to fit into the 'white' theme of the wedding.

    You could do so many better things with the money.
  4. Caroline Astley from Vancouver, Canada writes: We had a 27 person wedding in a lovely BC location. We decided to forego a large event (no head table, no dancing, no church) and instead focused on having a delicious dinner with great wine, just like we would have in our own home.

    The outcome? My husband and I relaxed and actually ENJOYED the day with limited stress (my mum nearly didn't make it, but that's a whole OTHER story!), three years later people still tell us what a wonderful time they had and how good the food was, and the only ones who fussed about not being invited - the ones we didn't want there in the first place!

    Given the chance I would do it the same way all over again!
  5. Richard Hawrelak from Sarnia, Canada writes: Caroline, your wedding was almost a carbon copy of ours in 1958. My highschool sweetheart and I were from Fernie, B.C. All our friends when I graduated from UBC were from the Okanogan or Vancouver. So, we had a small wedding in Penticton and off we went on our honeymoon. My total assets were one camp stove, one tent, one broken down 47 Mercury 4-door, a new camera and $200 cash. My wife was still in 3rd year education at UBC and I was entering an engineering Masters at UBC on Fellowship. We were rich as I also marked papers for spending cash. We honeymooned in my tent and toured B.C. and Washington for two weeks before I entered graduate school. Life was never better when we had so little. We've been together since 1952, raised two great kids, no debt, and we are still enjoying life. Good luck to you both.

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