BEVERLY HILLS – In the best show-business tradition, the machinery of American television grinds on here in the state of chaos.

You can feel the public unease. Massive wildfires rage in nearby Santa Barbara and continue to spread into surrounding regions. Gas has officially crept past the $5-a-gallon mark in the greater Los Angeles area. And today the National Weather Service issued an “excessive heat watch,” with temperatures expected to reach into the triple-digit range on the old Farenheit scale. Palm Springs is expected to hit 116 degrees by Friday.

No cause for alarm in the heart of Beverly Hills, however, where a parade of familiar TV stars were assembled this morning for the benefit of journalists attending the summer TV Critics Tour, which kicked off today.

Running slightly more than two weeks, the annual TV Tour is designed to promote the incoming fall TV season and faithfully leads off with the gaudy presentations from the U.S. cable channels. As in the past, the leadoff position on the cable portion went to the Hallmark Channel, a broadcast entity owned by the greeting-card company--and with the same cleancut family values. 

Available in Canada on digital service only, the Hallmark Channel's broadcast philosophy involves the ceaseless production of new TV movies starring old TV faces. Hallmark paraded no fewer than two-dozen stars in and out of the cavernous chilled ballroom reserved for the group press conferences. Watching the talent was akin to leafing through issues of TV Guide from decades past.

The press corps were re-introduced to Jane Seymour, aka Doctor Quinn: Medicine Woman, on hand, to promote her Hallmark movie Dear Prudence, which casts her as a Martha Stewart-like TV chef who solves murder-mysteries in her spare time. Former Brady Bunch matriarch Florence Henderson appeared with Donna Mills (Knots Landing) for the movie Ladies of the House, in which they play two tough old gals who renovate a church.

Wedged into Hallmark's two-hour allotment were remarkably brief appearances by Greg Evigan (BJ and the Bear) and Daphne Zuniga (Melrose Place) for the western Mail Order Bride; former L.A. Law star Corbin Bernsen was there for the romantic comedy For The Love of Grace. Old TV stars never really die, they simply make the move to cable.

In the oddity department, there were brief stage turns by Cheech Marin and Tom Arnold, each with their own respective Hallmark projects. And in case anyone ever wondered what happened to Meredith Baxter (Bridget Loves Bernie), Eriq La Salle (ER), Ben Vereen (Roots) and Candace Cameron (Full House), they're all alive and well and appearing on the Hallmark Channel. Work is work in Hollywood these days.

The scene-stealer of the TV Tour's first morning was, not surprisingly, Ed Asner, now 79 and still adorably grumbly and honest. The onetime fixture of The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Lou Grant was on hand to hype the Hallmark movie Generation Gap, which casts him as a grandfather saddled with the care of his teenaged grandson. Since he is a former president of the Screen Actors Guild, Asner was asked straight away about the likelihood of actors going out on strike later this week or next.

“I would think not,” said Asner. “The town's been fairly terrorized this year, and actors don't have any more guts than the average person. I myself would vote for it, but I'm in the minority.”

To his credit, Asner still knows how to work a crowd, and deliver a punchline. When somebody asked the movie's young costar, Alex Black, what lessons he took away from working with the TV legend, Asner jumped in without missing a beat: “How to roll a reefer.”

Hallmark also handed out a catalogue—with more than 200 pages—with detailed descriptions and cast lists for its new fall season, and a cookbook that was somehow connected to Corbin Bernsen's movie. After that, the talent was whisked away amid the blazing midday heat. The opening round of cable was dizzying for most critics in attendance. And so it begins.