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No dessert until you clean your plate.
Just five bites — then you can leave the table.
C'mon, it's good for you!
All are classic exhortations in the struggle to persuade convince children to eat well. And all are backwards, according to Montreal-based dietitians Marie Breton and Isabelle Emond, the authors of a new book, Family Table: Recipes and Strategies. Instead of cajoling kids into a lifetime of healthy eating, parents are setting them up for bad adult habits: lusting after sweets, eschewing healthy foods and overeating. Sound familiar?
Isabelle Edmond, right, suggests parents decide what's for dinner and let the children say how much they'll eat. She says it works with her children, Estelle, left, Jeanne and Victor. (John Morstad for The Globe and Mail)
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We talked to Ms. Emond about why the tactics parents use to get their kids to eat may be all wrong.
What's wrong with the threat of no dessert?
It makes the dessert more desirable. And it affects satiety, the feeling of being full. With time you're going to lose the ability to know when you're full. And you can offer healthy desserts — one portion, not two.
So, it's okay if a child only eats part of their meal and all of their dessert? Won't they be hungry?
You wait for the next meal. Don't give another meal between the meals, so the child knows how it works.
You also say parents should scrap the just-five-bites logic.
Again, you're playing with satiety. Maybe the third bite is too much.
What about sweets?
Don't forbid them. If it's forbidden, it's more temptation. As grown-ups, we know that. These days it's hard. But you can keep very sweet things like chocolate for special occasions — Halloween, birthday parties.
Instead of prodding their kids, you say, parents should offer a variety of foods and trust their child to eat? That sounds crazy.
When you breastfeed, the child knows when it's enough for him. He knows when to stop. It's natural. Satiety and hunger are natural. I have three kids. I tested this way of life with my second child. She became a picky child at age 1. I experimented, but it was hard to let it go. That's the phrase I use: Let it go.
How was she picky?
She didn't want to eat fruit. So I made sure she ate more vegetables. In the summer I make popsicles with fresh fruits. She loves it. I just let it go and once in a while offered her fruit. Even now, I put out a plate and she'll try something new. It takes a lot of patience. Broccoli's not delicious for everyone the first time. Now that my kids are older — 13, 11 and 10 — I'm not that preoccupied. I wish I had been more alert to this kind of thinking earlier — I would have given it a try.
So, where does this philosophy come from?
It's mainly Ellyn Satter, an American psychotherapist and dietitian.
If you have a five-year-old who is already picky, is it too late?
No, it's not too late. It might be a longer process. One meal at a time. If he's very picky, you try one vegetable or thing he doesn't like per meal. So he can get used to it very slowly. If you present it like it's a grown-up vegetable, it might be more tantalizing. Don't make a fuss out of it and it will pass.
But when your child refuses a food, doesn't that mean they don't like it?
They naturally resist. With some kids, it takes 10 times until they finally taste it. If at this meal he's not going to eat, at the second meal he's going to eat more. A child doesn't stay hungry long. When he's hungry, he's finally going to taste it. It's not bad if one meal a week a kid doesn't eat that much.
And parents have to eat what they're giving their kids?
If you serve broccoli but don't serve it on your own plate, it doesn't work. It's not a good example. It's not just about taste.
You suggest including things they like in every meal. And not offering a back-up for the things they don't.
They are not at a restaurant. If you start it at one meal, they'll always think there's a second choice.
And if they only want to eat the bread, you bite your tongue?
It's hard, but yes. You can ask them to try other things, saying, "It smells good. See how everyone is eating it?" But you don't even have to say it. They see it at the table, and how it works.
So, how do you translate this philosophy into a cookbook?
I wanted the recipes to be easy and healthy. The ingredients are easy to find. Each recipe uses 10 or less, and cooking time is [usually] 30 minutes or less. Sometimes it's longer, but for things cooked in the oven. It's a weeknight recipe book, recipes you can make at the end of the day.
What are your kids' favourites?
The Chinese Chicken, inspired by [Australian cookbook author] Donna Hay. Bolognaise Sauce and Parmesan Meatballs — it's like Play-Doh.
Click here to see recipes.
