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Go ahead, kids, eat your cake first

TRALEE PEARCE

From Tuesday's Globe and Mail

Latest comment posted at 11:25 AM EDT 30/07/08

'No dessert until you clean your plate.' Parents who have long relied on that line may have to eat their words ...Read the full article

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  1. Winni Pig from Canada writes: It's pure bliss as a mother to have the young adult male you raised say to you "I am so glad that you made me eat healthy food and taught me how to cook real food." This after many, many standoffs and pangs of guilt at not filling the fridge with the latest paste (c'mon - premade Kraft dinner???).
  2. Timothy Nessus from Somewhere, Canada writes: "Yes, kids, you can eat dessert first"
    YES! What a crock of a BS!!!!

    This is just NONSENSE.

    ANY competend dietitian will tell you that it is just plain stupid to offer sugar BEFORE food. Whay? simply because sugar is absorbed rapidly on an empty stomach and ends up in the blood. So what? Well, it so happens that SUGAR LEVELS control to GREAT MEASURE the "hunger reflex".

    To put it simply:

    DESERT FIRST = NO APETITE!!!!

    GEEEEZZZZZZ!!!!!
  3. North of 49 from Ladysmith, Canada writes: This article is nothing new.
  4. Leon Russell from Gatineau, Qc, Canada writes: Ah, the art of provocative headlines. Even when they are misleading. "Go ahead kids, eat your cake first", while the article talks about eating "dessert" first, and specifically "a healthy dessert".
  5. Megan Ratcliffe from Toronto, Canada writes: First of all, Hossein Hajigah you need to read articles BEFORE you comment, and if you don't have a comment that is relevant to the article DON'T POST IT.
    YOu only make yourself sound stupid. Secondly, this might work for some kids, but my parents, particularly my mom would make us try everything that was served. There are still somethings I don't like but at least I am more open to trying things because of the lessons learned at the dinner table when I was a child.
  6. J S from Canada writes: Katharine R: The only way you would have eaten pasta with butter until you were 10 is if your parents served it to you at every meal. This is not what the article suggests that parents do.
  7. m b from Canada writes: This is a lot of common sense.

    It seems people who criticize it haven't read the article carefully.
    She didn't said to eat the desert first (that's just the catchy title). She said it's OK to give them one portion of a healthy desert even if they haven't eaten all their plate. They will eventually learn it is not a good idea because they will be hungry later on.

    She also said to always include something they like and something they don't like (with no backup). So she's not suggesting to only give pasta to a child who only likes pasta. I'm pretty sure she encourages variety...
  8. Gogh Forit from Canada writes: Just another useless article by a person who wants to be friends with her kids instead of being a parent. All the vegetables put on my plate were on the plates of my parents. All this coddling and you're-my-child-but-you're-my-equal-too only serves for further spoil these kids as they will expect the same level of sycophancy from their peers in other life situations.
    Parents work hard to put a roof over the head and food on the table for their children. The least the children could do is to eat what has been prepared for them and be mindful of their elders but this is 21st century Canada and expecting children to be respectful of their elders is just so politically incorrect. Crap!
  9. Kay A from Canada writes: Dessert is not part of the daily meal plan at our house.

    My kids have to eat their veggies before they leave the table but the rest of the meal is completely optional. And it's only the introduction of green salad that is currently causing for long meals these days.
    (We use smaller plates for the kid's meals so as not to over-serve them.)
    On rare occassions they have a snack before bed but not often; they have to request it.

    And, yes, in Canada most of us are blessed to be worrying about what our kids won't eat instead of there being nothing to feed them at all.
  10. J S from Canada writes: It seems hardly any of you have actually read the article before commenting.
  11. Imperial K from Toronto, Canada writes: who the hell eats dessert anymore, what is this 1802?

    also i agree, just tell you kids to step back if they give you a headache. we are much to much a giving in society now when it comes to complaining...mostly because we don't want to hear it. in the long run that harms the child as they become accustomed to being served hand and foot.
  12. Mi Mo from Alberta, Canada writes: Strange article - she says don't make dessert forbidden, but save the really sweet stuff like chocolate for special occaisions. What are these healthy desserts she recommends? Fruit? Yogurt? Because we have that between meals.

    Like with anything, you take what you can use from the advice. Maybe this works for her and her kids, but clearly not for everyone. If there's no dessert in the house there are fewer requests for it, that's what works at my house.
  13. Hugh Draper from Vancouver, Canada writes: Dietitians delving in psychology. I say permissiveness breeds eating disorders.
  14. Katherine R from Canada writes: J S from Canada writes: Katharine R: The only way you would have eaten pasta with butter until you were 10 is if your parents served it to you at every meal. This is not what the article suggests that parents do. .......................................................................................................... Not sure what article you read: "And if they only want to eat the bread, you bite your tongue? It's hard, but yes. You can ask them to try other things, saying, "It smells good. See how everyone is eating it?" But you don't even have to say it. They see it at the table, and how it works. " ......................................................................................................... See, if I had announced that I only wanted to eat plain pasta in my house, I would have had no dinner at all and would have been sent to my room. My parents (quite sensibly, I believe) forced me to try a little of whatever was cooked and not load up on just the starchy things kids love so much. I disagree with the author of the book's belief that if a child only wants to eat bread, that the parents should allow it and assume this is just a passing phase. JS, lighten up! You haven't contributed anything to the discussion except to takes swipes at other people.
  15. Lurelu From Canada from Canada writes: If children are given healthy substitutes instead of sweets or desserts when they are young, they are less likely to reach for these unhealthy products.
  16. mike fall from writes: Rule number 1- I cook, they eat. Easy! We follow the zone diet in our family, 30% fat 30 % protein and 40 % carb. This diet makes it super easy to have meals where everyone likes everything. If they don't like everything, too bad, I simply refer to rule one. My kids are 8 and 13 no issues at all. In my humble opinion diet and fitness are not debatable and allowing them to become debatable opens up a Pandora's box later in life. The key to health and nutrition lies not necessarily in eating vegetables but in the proper balance of carbs, fat and protein at each meal.
  17. Scary Fundamentalist from Canada writes: Great, just one more "expert" telling us to treat kids like adults. And yes, I did read the entire article. Permissive parenting is killing our kids.

    Kids will respond only to their urges until they are through most of their teenage years, at which time they have the capacity to think about their own health. Until that time, they will eat what I tell them to!

    "Dessert" was never a part of my mealtime growing up, and it certainly isn't now. My parents thought that they knew best and I am the better for it.
  18. J S from Canada writes: Katharine R: I was not taking a "swipe" at you, but perhaps now I will. You obviouisly didn't absorb the content of the article either. The writer of the article encourages new foods without "forcing" the child to eat, and if you give them a bit of time they most likely will. My point is, if you don't want your child eating only bread, don't serve it. Serve some other healthy food that they like, along with something new or different, and if they don't want to eat it, then that's all there is.
    My other comment was directed at people who apparently read the "dessert" headline and immediately commented on the article.
  19. Able Bodied Man from It's NOT 'VICTORIA' Island, Canada writes:
    "C'mon kids, no roast beef and potatoes and salad for until you've eaten your bowl of ice cream and cake and drank up all your coke..."
  20. noneof yerbeezwax from Toronto, Canada writes: Kids need to be "forced" to eat certain foods because they do not have the responsibility to make the best food choices. In comparison to children, parents do know best, especially with nutrition.
    Besides, the kids need something to gripe about when they're older.
  21. Itsagoodthingwedont Getallthegovtwepayfor from ON, Canada writes:

    Life is short ---- Eat desert first
  22. Able Bodied Man from It's NOT 'VICTORIA' Island, Canada writes:
    A 300 pound (136 kg) kid with diabetes and another 300 pound (136 kg) kid recovering from a heart attack meet while waddling around the school playground

    The first one says: My parents fed me some great ice cream -- chocolate, mint-chocolate, cappucino, peaches and cream. Was it ever tasty!

    The second one says: Yeah... my folks tried to kill me too.
  23. John H from Canada writes: Funny how society has changed so much in the last 40 years. Parents are all doing it the "new" way.
    Funny how society has gotten worse in health, morals etc.
    Great experiment. As a writer and scientist you should know it wasn't an experiment...
  24. Curious G from Canada writes: I assume there is some substantial research behind this? Say a 10-20 year double-blind study? Oh wait... that wouldnt be ethical... which means this is all just speculation. Outstanding journalism!
  25. John Smith from Canada writes: Curious G from Canada, I assume you are quite correct in questioning whether this is backed by quality evidence versus the opinion of some person out to sell a book.

    The Globe is excellent at providing free PR to pop culture health and lifestyle quacks. Well, at least I assume the article is free with no cost to the author for getting space.
  26. kim batchelor from Canada writes: I do not agree with the article.
    Why are there so many children that are obese, why is diebetes being found in more younger children, and more heart attacks amoung younger age groups??
    Because parents are not being dilligent enough to get the kids to eat
    HEALTHY. so to avoid a conflict is the answer to give in and let children live on desserts and junk and let them become statistics for obesity and diabetes?
    I THINK NOT
    I am thankful to my parents who made me eat all my veggies and dinner we did not have too many sweets.
    people were much healthier in the past than they are now.
    most shocking are the kids i see in my town with a personal 2 litre pop snacking on a large bag of chips and a slurpee and guzzling a sugary so called energy drink.
    wake up people!!
  27. Eat your Weedies from Canada writes: Why does dessert even need to be regular thing? In my house, food was food. Dessert was the kind of stuff we got when people came to visit, birthdays, Christmas. It's easy to avoid the whole dessert battle when it's not part of the meal.

    Why must everything be so complicated?
  28. Ambrosia Miles from Canada writes: If children are consistently offered healthy food options at home (including or excluding dessert) they will learn to eat well. I worked for years with young children in early learning centres and also worked in an eating disorder clinic for a short time. I don't think that forcing children to put things they don't want in their body is healthy, barring - obviously - occasions where it is medically necessary to do so. In my experience, when children are hungry they will eat, and if healthy food is what's available, guess what? Witness a 5 year old eating spinach. I understand why parents feel the need to force food on children but I think it causes more harm than good. Personally I virtually never make dessert for my children (not really necessary when you've just had a healthy meal) and though I don't force, I'm not a short order cook either (ie. when you're hungry you can eat what's available, or make it yourself). It's also important to inform children as to why certain foods should be chosen more often than others. I've never felt the need to force though. Neither did my parents and my siblings and I are all healthy eaters.
  29. Tracy Bracy from toronto, Canada writes: I always ate my cake first. When there was no room for real food I regretted it!!!! Nothing is worse than becoming hungry an hour later and having to make a sandwich or if there is no food left over.
  30. Katherine R from Canada writes: J S from Canada: Easy there, tiger! Everyone gets different things out of these articles, otherwise we would all be mindless robots (or swipe-taking discussion board trolls). I had posted earlier that, in all honesty, I would have chosen plain pasta if I had had a choice as a child. The author says that if a child only wants to eat bread, for example, parents should 'bite their tongues'. I don't believe that parents should bite their tongues and allow their children to just eat bread. Your suggestion was to simply not serve bread. I don't think this is realistic. For example, when my parents cooked us dinner, we would often have a meat, some vegetables, and a starch (dinner roll or mashed potatoes or rice etc). I, like many kids, would have happily eaten JUST the starch with LOTS of butter. The article seems to imply that, without being pushed, kids will eventually make the right choice to eat just ONE dinner roll and then eat a balanced meal of veg and meat. Based on my own experience, I am suspicious of this. I would have eaten only the starch had my parents not forced me to eat a bit of everything. I don't believe many children are able to make the most healthy choices. Your snappy and unpleasant tone about what is essentially a fun article in the 'Life' section reveals you have other problems that have nothing to do with all of us.
  31. Kat Wilson from Canada writes: When I think back to my childhood there were two foods I couldn't stand: brussel sprouts (sp?) and liver. To this day I could not eat those two foods if you paid me. Blech. Everything else was great! There weren't a lot of pre-packaged foods back then and my mother only took us to fast food places a couple of times a year as a treat. Mom - who also worked full time - cooked everything from scratch including the lovely desserts, like lattice-crust sour cherry pies, blueberry pies, angel food cakes, pumpkin pie, all kinds of cookies, etc etc. And she got us involved in cooking and baking. She used "real" ingredients like butter, too, not this transfatty margarine crap or "Crisco". We never ever were allowed to go to MacDonalds but twice a year we could pick between Dairy Queen, Kentucky Fried Chicken and A&W. Not that there is any difference.

    Anyway, we were served a main course first - like most families - and if we finished we got dessert a little later. Usually after we did the dishes.

    None of us - and none of my friends - were overweight, mainly because a) we weren't served humongous platters of food and b) we got plenty of exercise. In the 60s the kids were always outside where I lived, playing tag, exploring, building forts, riding bikes, swinging, climbing monkey bars etc. etc. We didn't have computers or video games and TV was restricted to a couple of shows a night. The parents would shoo us out doors to play. Our neighbourhoods were safe back then (for the most part) and neighbourhood watch was a common natural thing...parents looking out for each others kids. It wasn't just about food, but a whole lifestyle that doesn't seem to exist anymore.
  32. B Field from Vancouver, Canada writes: Yeah this article is totally wrong. My parents fed us homemade healthy foods, vegetables, proteins, fruit, dairy. We never got any candy or junkfood in the house. No Captain Crunch, ding-dongs, microwave pizzas or any of the other garbage kids were eating. Once in a while we got crap, maybe every month or two. I ate Mcdonalds or a Rootbeer Float, but it was always a rare treat not part of my diet. I watched my friends eating and was always shocked at what transfat, sugar coated carbs they were allowed to eat - hot dogs, grilled cheese, pizza, frosted flakes. These foods actually made me SICK after a few tries at them. If you eat REAL food all that stuff is hard to stomache. Sure I would gobble it down then want to puke. My best friend who I have known since kindergarten and grew up with like a brother is now 225 pounds of fat at 5'10 while I am 160 pounds of pure muscle at 6'2. I have a fantastic diet of fibre, veg, fruit and low fat proteins like chicken and fish - all foods he didn't like and coulnd't eat when he came over- he just stopped coming. My Parents made me eat wholesome foods and trained me and my brothers what REAL food was. Exposing us to all sorts of cuisines from Chinese to Indian. I cannot thank my parents enough for training me on this diet. Sure we cried and whined at my mom in the Safeway to buy dessert and junkfood, she always said NO. We just gave up after a while we knew the answer. When we went OUT or on Vacation sure the rules were off and we can have anything we want, but at home the only food IN the house was good for us. So it was starve or eat it. I have seen the product of this "eat what you wan" diet and the recipes she gives as examples are marginal at best. Ground Beef, Cheese, Fried Oils, truckloads of saturated fat and carcinogens. I suspect the vast majority of Adults have no concept of real nutrition which was passed on to them by their parents. My kids will be eating what I put on their plate - REAL FOOD.
  33. R M from Ottawa, Canada writes:
    So, Bill Cosby was right, after all, giving his kids CHOCOLATE CAKE for breakfast!

    Always knew he was a great dad!!
  34. Oksana Szulhan from North Vancouver, Canada writes: And another load of crap . . . if it's packaged, it's probably synthetic, which = not real food. The real stuff takes time to prepare, is better for you and - by gosh and by golly - may just result in some family time. Now, how stupid are the parents ?
  35. Elizabeth McLean from Australia writes: My husband decided that we should never make food dislikes an issue at the table. In our home, mealtimes were always an important time to be together and to share what had happened during the day - not a time for us to be stressed out and mad at each other. It worked out fine. I tried to make healthy interesting meals, and mostly they got eaten and enjoyed! But the best part is that we are still a close family and we still love sharing times together.
  36. I. Con O'Clast from Canada writes: As parents, never, never, say "I don't like..." at the dinner table or elsewhere. It is simply bad modeling, and kids will model parental behaviour.
  37. L R from Argentina writes: Between myself and my friend, I say the parents MAKING you try everything works out betterlong term! She grew up with a mum who would never force her to try anything -- if she didn't like the way it looked the first time she encountered it, she was off the hook. I on the other hand, was THE pickiest eater, but my mum never left me off the hook. I can remember countless nights where I was left staring at my plate ages after the dinner hour because she wouldn't let me go without 3 bites of whatever it was that I didn't like. After all these years, my friend still won't try anything if it looks "weird", which means she basically won't travel since food is just too strange. Myself on the other hand, I'll try pretty much anything -- and there's only 2 foods from those childhood dinners that I still don't like to this day -- brussel sprouts and kidneys! Internal organs are pretty much no-nos for my palate to this day, but I'll still try everything once (or more) before completely writing it off. My Argentina mother-in-law did herself in by catering to each of her kids tastes, and would end up cookng not one but three different meals for dinner. One of her now grown-up sons won't eat anything that has a bit of flavour, but he has outdone himself and found a woman that eats even less. Funnily enough she always picks away at her main meal separating out the things she actually will eat (which seems nothing) but thinks nothing of chowing down on a huge dessert afterwards. I can't imagine the kids they'll raise together!
  38. Jennie MacCrae from Ontario from Canada writes: Finally information from the real experts on food science. I'm getting tired of looking for books about food only to find they have been written by physicians! No thanks, I want to read information that comes from people who actually study the science of food, not diseases! Thank you for the article.
  39. B H from Toronto, Canada writes: One thing here I really agree with is not to mess with the feeling of fullness. Never force a kid to eat more when they say they're full (although it makes sense that they can't just have something else instead, since that implies they're not actually full). Way too many people will eat everything on their plate even if their body doesn't need any more. How many thousands of years of evolution have taught our bodies to use hunger to tell us when to eat and when to stop eating, and we try to teach our kids to override that? No surprise so many weight-loss programs have to literally teach people to figure out if they're actually hungry or not before they eat more.
  40. Chris Schultz from Ottawa, Canada writes: Did anybody read the article, or has reading comprehension really fallen as dramatically as I had pessimistically suspected?

    The article is saying that you provide healthy CHOICES at every stage of a meal. Serve one thing children like as part of a main course (but in a moderate amount so it doesn't singly constitute a meal), give them new food items to try, set a good example by eating everything you serve for yourself, and give them fruit for dessert.

    This is what healthy people have been doing for centuries (look up the European diet and note that obesity and heart disease are at their lowest in Europe), and it continues to work. Children know what they like from a very early age, and your role as a parent is to guide them in making good choices.

    Be a role model. Use positive encouragement and praise good decisions (instead of dinner table dictatorships). Most of the children I know who were forced to eat are chronic overeaters, and now that they're 30, they are packing on the pounds.
  41. stand up mimi from Vancouver, Canada writes: B H - I agree that kids should just stop eating when they're full. Where did the idea come from that they had to force everything down? I have a friend whose mother would constantly tell her and her sisters when they were children, "When your tummy's full, you stop." To this day they eat plenty of food but are all slim (including their mother). It's partly genetics, but I wonder how much is just sensible eating habits.
  42. I_Hate_David Miller from Toronto, Canada writes: Growing up if I didn't eat what was put on my plate...I went hungry. If I didn't like something I still had to have a small portion. Dessert was only provided after the Sunday Family Lunch. If we went out for a meal we were told that we could have some ice cream when we got home and by that point we were no longer hungry. I'm sure that this would now be classes as child abuse by the new age lefties.

    I agree with most of the posters that talk about this new form of parenting. This new parenting is the downfall of modern society...parents need to be parents and not friends to their children
  43. Jill Skorochod from Canada writes: I'm really surprised at the comments here. I thought it was a very informative, helpful article. I didn't see permissiveness -- what I saw was: "Here are some healthy choices for your meal (including a healthy dessert). If you don't want to eat them, I'm not going to force you, but you're also not getting anything else until the next meal time." I had a truly permissive mother -- if I didn't like something she would dutifully make me something else, which I then had to eat every bite of. This combination of permissiveness and invasive control caused me a multitude of problems as an adult. I was afraid to try new things, and would be embarassed in social and business settings if the menu included anything but the most basic things. More importantly, I lost all touch with my sense of satiety, not having any idea of when I was truly full, and should stop eating. Finally, since eating is one of the most intimate things a person can do -- you are, after all, deciding what goes into your body -- any attempts to interfere with that can lead to eating control issues -- specifically, eating disorders, which was a battle I fought for nearly 20 years. Hugh Draper, with the greatest of respect, you haven't a clue what you're talking about. Permissiveness does not breed eating disorders, control by the parent -- or more specifically, lack of control by the child -- is what contributes to eating disorders. A child can be guided to healthy choices -- "You can eat what's given to you or not, but those are your only options" -- still gives the child a sense of control, without handing over the reins to them. The article is full of good advice -- let your child stop eating when they are full, do not turn your kitchen into a restaurant menu for your child, continue to provide healthy choices without forcing anything on your kids -- and you're going to raise a healthy eater. Simple.

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