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Becoming a hockey mom is like joining an exclusive society; one that changes your day-to-day lifestyle, social circle, sleeping arrangements, bank statement and odometer reading.
The notion of spontaneity disappears from your mindset, replaced with schedules and printouts of Mapquest directions to hotels and the smelly, stale-aired arenas that form a common meeting ground in our collective national experience.
This is especially the case when your child plays on a rep team. For the player, it's a badge of honour. For the parents, it means loving your daughter's athletic endeavours and that look on her face when she's shouting the team song or celebrating a tough-fought victory so much that you are willing to give up every weekend from September through March to ferry her to games near and far.
And, if your daughter is that team's only goalie, you can't not make a game. Family vacation? Reschedule it. Under the weather? Suck it up, buttercup. Piano competition the same day as the provincials? Choose between a year's worth of practice on an instrument and letting your teammates down.
Daughter Alyanna (back row, middle) and some of her hockey and soccer teammates check out the seating. (Harrison Smith For The Globe and Mail)
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There's an effect on your family life, and an effect on the environment, too. Last winter, the Under 8 Belleville Bearcats clocked 7,414 kilometres to get to league, exhibition and tournament games — per player. That's more than 96,000 km for one team (practices not included).
In its latest report, the Ontario Women's Hockey Association registered 951 competitive (rep) teams with 14,779 players — together, using the Belleville distances, that's more than 109.5-million km.
If you give every one of those vehicles the benefit of getting 8.0 litres/100 km (and that's a very generous allotment), more than 21-million kilograms of carbon dioxide was released into Ontario's atmosphere in one season.
Then factor in the girls' hockey teams in other provinces. And, consider that fewer girls play hockey than boys.
Not every parent drives to every game alone: occasionally, parents do car pool. And if we all made a concerted effort, we could reduce our carbon footprint.
Making a go of it would require twice the organization that goes into the summer soccer Freezie schedules — not to mention a willingness on the part of parents to give up viewing every single game. (Part of belonging to this exclusive hockey-mom club is acknowledging that, yes, missing a game — for any reason other than being at another child's game — is a misdemeanour offence.)
Best of all for car pooling is, of course, the ubiquitous but decidedly less fashionable minivan.
The minivan is the vehicular equivalent of what is commonly known as "nursing" shoes: a comfortable, practical and smart choice, but decidedly lacking in sex appeal.
Should you and your team be committed to car pooling, a minivan is the perfect hockey-mom vehicle. The Toyota Sienna fits one mother, five eight- and nine-year-old players and one little brother. And, most important, five hockey bags and a cooler in the back without obstructing your rearview vision.
Unlike many other vehicles, little brother can navigate for mom safely (not that you'd want a seven-year-old navigating) because Toyota has a weight sensor built into the front passenger seat that automatically disengages the air bag if the passenger is too light to register. (A light in the panel lets the driver know immediately if the air bag is on or off.) That weight sensor also helpfully warns you —and warns you and warns you — that your heavy briefcase and purse have failed to put on their seatbelt while riding shotgun.
It's true you can fit your entire defensive line and goalie in the Sienna. But it's not true to say they'd all be comfortable. The back-row passengers — like in a recent Honda model I had the discomfort of being a back-row passenger in — have very little legroom.
For a grownup, it's downright cramp-inducing. Even for leggy eight- and nine-year-olds, it's worth complaining repeatedly about. And, unlike in our older Oldsmobile Silhouette van, the sound in the Sienna travels. Well.
Unless that sound is coming from the fancy sound system. It's meant to be a feature worth bragging about, and if you're a sound aficionado, it may well be. But for someone who wants to flip between CD, the radio and even an audio book, it's an exercise in frustration.
To hear the audio book, you need to pump up the volume to 45. Whatever you do, make sure you turn it way down before you hit the mode button to check the traffic report. And to listen to your music? Blast it, unless you want a tinny sound — because, trust me, one of the first things you'll do is turn down the bass.
You know those people who pull up beside you at an intersection with the bass thumping so loudly that it wakes sleeping children and actually hurts your inner ears? You, too, can be that person with this sound system. What the Sienna lacks in back-row legroom it more than makes up for in bass.
Not what I'd call a selling feature, but the twentysomething I complained to looked at me like I had two heads. Like I was the kind of person who would wear nursing shoes. By choice.
Does this jacked-up model, ringing in at $38,340, have the other features that make a working hockey mom's busy weekend that much more comfortable and convenient? A power rear door so you don't have to dirty your nice winter gloves? Check. Heated front seats? Check. Ample cup holders (that don't allow your travel mug to tip) and easily accessible storage space for maps and CDs? Check. Somewhere to set your purse where it won't get salt-stained? Check. Easily folded rear seats that disappear into a deep well? Check.
Big, easy-to-reach dry cleaning hooks? Not really: too small and the passenger-side hook in the middle, when holding a freshly cleaned blanket and winter coat, ends up blocking too much of your view.
Good storage space for kids' Nintendo DSs, colouring books, notepads, etc? Barely. Easily accessible cup holders for passengers? Oops; not for the middle row.
The Sienna gave me 672 km, majority highway, on 79 litres of gas. This van has lots of power: The engine feels the need for speed. If you get caught up in the energy of Radar Love, look down and see you've eclipsed 130 km/h without an ounce of effort. It takes concentration — or cruise control — to keep this beast at its most fuel-efficient speed (and this from a driver who keeps it under 120 km/h).
Is the Sienna the ultimate hockey-mom vehicle? It scores on fuel efficiency and cargo space, but loses points on mom-friendly amenities and rear-passenger comfort. The verdict is out while other vans and five- and seven-seat crossovers and hybrid vehicles are put to the test.
Mom's checklist
Toyota Sienna
Base Price: $28,990 for the CE; $33,380 for the LE; as tested, $38,340
Fuel economy (litres/100 km): 11.7 city/8.1 highway; regular gasƒo
Room for kids: Room for more kids than you'd want to drive with (including in the front passenger seat)
Room for gear: Easily fits two hockey bags and enough gear for a weekend tournament
Amenities for mom: Heated seats, lots of cup holders up front, easy-to-fold rear seats, safe place for your purse
Drawbacks: Small dry-cleaning hooks, hard-to-reach cup holders in middle row, little storage space for kids' stuff
Look for future vehicle reviews from The Hockey Mom on www.globeauto.com
