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To say that the European press takes soccer seriously would be rather like saying the CBC screws up now and then. It would be what is universally known as an understatement.

There's passion in the press coverage of Euro 2008. It can be unnervingly raw and emotional. Looking around at what the European papers are saying it's all angst, "ouch" and unembarrassed proclamations of fear. Or loathing. It's one fiery cauldron of melodrama and poignancy.

Take the Swedes.

Well, the Swedish press didn't actually take well to the team's performance here — a win over Greece, a loss to Sweden and then a loss to Russia. It was a good showing really, against the tough-to-beast Champions Greece, a late loss to the fabulous Spain and then overwhelmed by a Russia that took everyone's breath away. But that's the neutral's view. Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet declared this on its front page: "What the hell? Too old, too yellow, too tired. Sweden were old, ugly, cowardly and unskilled."

In Switzerland, they brooded about the co-host country's early exit. Was it a lack of skill or cowardliness there? Nope. The Swiss paper Blick was all sulky on its front page: "Finished, Out, Over." And then, "We are European champions at being unlucky".

Over in Italy, where soccer is more important than, well, anything you can name, the victory over France was greeted with overwrought relief. La Gazzetta dello Sport put this headline on its game report - "Too Beautiful." And then got on with the business of declaring Andrea Pirlo to be some kind of god. Mind you, it had words of advice for coach Roberto Donadoni about the upcoming quarter-Final against Spain, in particular the Spanish strikers Fernando Torres and David Villa.

"Keep an eye on those two — On Sunday we're playing a team in better form and their strikers should scare us." As if, you know, Donadoni was eccentrically out-of-touch and needed to hear about Torres and Villa from a newspaper.

In Spain, meanwhile, the media appears to be intent on causing a country-wide nervous breakdown. When it became clear that Spain would meet Italy in the quarter-finals, it is reported that the top soccer guy on the national radio service began his report by bellowing a question at the country and team. In polite language the question can be translated as: "Are you having loose bowels thinking about the game against Italy?"

Just to ram it home, the Spanish press is now obsessing about the date of the game with Italy — June 22. You see it has been on a June 22 that Spain has failed several times in a quarter-final, and usually with some controversy or bad luck. In fact it has had three penalty shootout defeats on that day.

It all began in 1986, when Spain was beaten on June 22, by Belgium, of all countries, at the World Cup in Mexico. At Euro 96 in England, on the same day, Spain went out following a 0-0 draw with England, but two goals for Spain had been disallowed. Then in South Korea in 2002, Spain had a controversial goal disallowed in extra-time and failed to beat the co-host country on penalties.

The German press is understandable excited by Thursday's quarter-final victory over Portugal. Man of the match Bastian Schweinsteiger is the focus. 'Schweini-Cool' was the headline in the mass market Bild newspaper.

However, there follows much coverage of Chancellor Angela Merkel's opinion on the game, attendance at games and advice she has given to both Schweinsteiger and coach Joachim Loew. The sport-and-politics connection is strikingly emphatic. If Germany wins this tournament Angela Merkel is shoo-in for another term.

And then there's the English press, bless it. Because England isn't here, the tabloids make for hilarious reading. The Sun opened its coverage on Thursday with this: "Austria, Czech Republic, France, Greece, Poland, Romania, Sweden and Switzerland are all going home early. So we at SunSport have decided to celebrate the contributions of these teams by compiling a slideshow of their wonderful fans. And of course when we say fans we mean female fans"

There ensues a slide-show of bosomy young women.

In general the English tabs take an English-centric view, concentrating on players who are English Premier League stars. The Daily Mirror announced that Fernando Torres's of Liverpool and Spain would "do the Premiership proud" by scoring a lot. This is probably not the top thing on his mind. June 22nd is.

One English media-watcher took a look at the Torres coverage and sarcastically summarized the attitude as, "The Liverpool striker was going to show that he plays in the best league in the world by leading the line for some sweaty little holiday destination which was apparently taking part in some kick-around with a bunch of other Johnny Foreigners in the place where they make Toblerone."

Ouch. But entertaining stuff. And Canadians think they take hockey seriously?