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For Canadians, the Zamboni is a never-ending source of amusement and amazement. Like the time one ran out of gas during a World Hockey Association game and had to be hauled away like a beached whale. Or the night one crashed through the ice at a WHA game while Celine Dion sang, My Heart Will Go On.

But this story is too much.

According to MSNBC, a world leader in lengthy acronyms, a 64-year-old New Jersey man has been let off the hook for driving a Zamboni while intoxicated. That's right: some guy got loaded then climbed behind the wheel of a multi-ton ice-resurfacing machine and hit the gas pedal.

Fortunately, he stayed inside the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown, N.J., likely because he couldn't find the exit. Still, John Peragallo drove recklessly around the rink and nearly crashed into the boards while hitting a top speed of … whatever it is a Zamboni can muster.

A fellow employee called the police after seeing Peragallo weaving on ice, unable to drive a straight line. Witnesses said Peragallo had "a big smile on his face" as nervous skaters watched from the sidelines.

Peragallo's blood alcohol count came in at 0.12 per cent, well over the state's limit of 0.08. He had his driver's licence taken away before heading to court to clear his name.

Enter Superior Court Judge Joseph Falcone, who today decided that a Zamboni is not really a motor vehicle because you don't see them on a highway and they don't carry passengers.

It didn't matter to Judge Falcone that Peragallo admitted to police he had "a shot of Sambuca with his breakfast coffee and two Valium pills before work." It didn't matter that Peragallo, had he been able to find the exit, could have left the arena, headed along on East Hanover to 287 North to the Jersey Turnpike and through the Lincoln Tunnel, where he would have been able to wreak untold havoc in New York City.

But according to a Superior Court Judge, it's okay to drink and drive a Zamboni. As Peragallo's attorney said afterward: "It's a vindication for my client. It's the right thing."

Actually, it's not.

The Zamboni is a fine piece of machinery that is larger than the Minnesota Wild's Derek Boogaard and better tempered, but it's still dangerous in the wrong hands. And it can carry passengers; at least the one in Edmonton does. The Fanboni parades people, including children, around Rexall Place between periods of Oiler games. Lately, the Fanboni has been a lot more fun to watch than the Edmonton players.

But can you imagine the outrage if it was discovered the guy driving the Fanboni was looped up on Sambuca and Valium? He'd be vilified so badly he'd think his last name was Pocklington.

Of course, he could probably get a job in New Jersey.

They'll let anybody drive a Zamboni there. Just don't caught smelling of booze while driving a snowmobile, lawnmower, bicycle, a horse or golf cart.

Then you'll feel the wrath of the law.

We think.