Lionel and Karen Dorfman of Bloomfield Township, Mich., are in the running for the coveted Gladys Kravitz Award.
Gladys, as some of you may recall, was the nosy neighbour on the 1960s television show Bewitched. She was so convinced the lady next door was up to something that she would plant herself at her living-room window and stare at the home of Samantha and Darrin Stephens.
The Dorfmans, who don't have their own TV show but may now get one, have been equally fixated on their neighbour, who just happens to be Mr. Hockey, Gordie Howe.
The legendary Mr. Howe was granted a temporary restraining order this week preventing the Dorfmans from conducting surveillance on his home in Bloomfield Township.
While Mrs. Kravitz showed a modicum of restraint when it came to snooping, the Dorfmans have allegedly been far more intrusive, not to mention high tech. In an eight-count stalking lawsuit filed in Oakland County, Mr. Howe has alleged the Dorfmans have "engaged in unlawful eavesdropping and invasion of privacy for more than a year."
Mr. Howe's suit contends the Dorfmans have had a camera snapping photos of his house, located directly across the street from theirs, every five seconds, thereby producing more than 17,000 photos a day. Even O.J. Simpson doesn't have his picture taken that often.
How do we know the Dorfmans are doing this? Because they complained to the Bloomfield Township attorney, who passed dozens of photos along to Mr. Howe's lawyer, Roger Smith.
So why are the Dorfmans, a retired couple in their 70s who have an unlisted number and obviously enjoy their privacy, so keen on following Mr. Hockey's every move?
They think he's breaking the law: the homeowners' association and township ordinances. And if you've ever belonged to a homeowners' association, you know how serious some people can be if the petunias in your front flower bed are not regulation height.
The Dorfmans are convinced the 79-year-old Mr. Howe is running a business out of his home; that he's selling hockey sticks and signed jerseys and that too many vehicles are coming and going for their liking.
"They're saying he's selling memorabilia, and in the subdivision there's supposed to be no business taking place," said Bill Gadsby, a former teammate of Mr. Howe's with the Detroit Red Wings who lives nearby. "This [Dr. Dorfman] guy sees a few cars but I can tell you one of them was probably mine."
So is Mr. Hockey a nefarious, rule-flouting resident selling who knows what (Viagra, used auto parts, hockey pants) from his home? Are the Dorfmans actually in the right, even though their spying makes Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots look like amateurs?
Mr. Smith, the lawyer, said Mr. Howe has been involved in fundraising and charitable organizations, "but he's not operating a business out of his home."
"He's a celebrity and a business himself, wherever he is," Mr. Smith added.
Mark Howe, Gordie's son, said yesterday his dad continues to do a great deal of charity work.
"We feel dad's being harassed a little bit," he said. "We've never spoken to [the Dorfmans], zero communication. We're just trying to put an end to it."
So how did this get started?
When Mr. Howe was changing sites for his commercial office, some of his merchandise was stored in his garage. When the new commercial office opened, the goods were moved.
According to Mr. Smith, Dr. Dorfman saw the merchandise in Mr. Howe's garage and became alarmed. Dr. Dorfman then noticed Mr. Howe's home address was listed on his Mrandmrshockey.com website.
When that was pointed out, the address was dropped from the website and apologies were offered.
As for the traffic coming and going from the Howe home, much of it was easily explained. Colleen Howe, Gordie's wife, continues to suffer from Pick's disease, a brain disorder that results in dementia, withdrawal and aggression. She has been stricken for years, so much so that she requires more care than her husband can manage.
"She's not good," Mark Howe said of his mother.
But when the nurses visited the Howes, the Dorfmans saw wrongful activity.
"One of the photos had a caption that suggests the nurses are engaged in a conspiracy with Gordie to smuggle in contraband and commercial products by co-mingling it with food items being carried in grocery bags," Mr. Smith said. "It shows you the kind of thinking we're dealing with."
Lionel Dorfman, a retired urologist, spoke to a Detroit News reporter yesterday and said he was encouraged by the home association and township to record evidence.
"I can't believe Gordie Howe wants all of this to come out," Dr. Dorfman told the News. "It's going to be hard to say anything negative about Mr. Hockey, but maybe it's the only way to resolve our problem."
The temporary restraining order bans any further photographing, videotaping or audio recording of the Howes or their home. It also ordered the Dorfmans not to destroy any of the video or audio records they've already made.
Until this matter is resolved, one thing is certain: your neighbour, the guy who cuts his grass only once a month? He doesn't look so bad now, does he?
