Here's how it is to be the coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
One day last fall, Ron Wilson is walking through the underground labyrinth of tunnels that connect all of the major points in the city's downtown when his cellphone rings. On the line is Scott Gordon, his assistant coach with the U.S. Olympic hockey team, and they begin talking about issues surrounding the coming Vancouver Whistler Games.
A shortish fellow in standard business attire walks by, sees a familiar face, and does a bit of a double-take. Then he walks up to Wilson, who is still talking, and hollers the following directly into his ear.
"You're the worst [expletive]coach I've ever seen. You're a [expletive] idiot."
Then the man in the suit walks away, leaving Wilson standing there, with Gordon laughing on the other end of the line.
It doesn't end there. Anyone who knows the way Wilson relishes the cut and thrust, understands that he likes to get the last word, can imagine what comes next.
He sprints through the tunnel - his antagonist has a 50-metre lead, but he quickly catches up - and stops him dead in his tracks.
"You said something back there. Now say it to my face."
His critic is momentarily taken aback, but eventually summons his courage and repeats his critique, complete with f-bombs.
"How can you do that?" Wilson says. "I could have been talking to my wife, or my granddaughter. What do you do for a living? Do people come up to you at work and swear at you?
"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to follow you all the way home and call you an idiot."
Wilson does just that, or at least he does until the guy finally escapes into the subway. Point made. Perhaps.
Two years ago, over dinner in the same carnivore friendly restaurant, Wilson sat and chatted about his brand new job, about what it meant to come to a franchise with great tradition, great (albeit ancient) history, about how the son of a player whose name is inscribed on the Stanley Cup, and the nephew of another, so valued the opportunity to coach in a traditional hockey market after stops in Anaheim and Washington and San Jose.
The pressure would be great, the expectations crazily out of whack, which Wilson understood. But the grand challenge he had embraced in partnership with his old college roommate Brian Burke would eventually bear fruit, first with a team culture stripped of an unearned sense of entitlement, then with progress on the ice, and finally with a championship. The payoff would be enormous.
So two seasons in - two more seasons wandering the desert for a franchise that hasn't made the playoffs since 2004 - what do you know about coaching in Toronto now that you didn't know then? Wilson is asked.
"There's a little bit of perspective that you have to keep that you might not even think about if you're coaching in another city," he says. "Everybody has to be reasonable here. We've got a plan and were trying to stick to the plan. Yes, we have at times tried to speed it up a little bit. How we speed it up is that trade Brian was able to pull off last year getting one of the top defencemen in the league [Dion Phaneuf] Sacrificing two first-round picks for a sure-fire 40-goal scorer, and I think if not this year, next year Phil [Kessel]is going to be able to score 50 goals. We've tried to speed up the process there. But things get exaggerated and blown out of proportion. You go 4-0 and after everybody telling you you're the worst coach of all time, you're the best coach of all time."
Even a casual follower of the sports pages will understand where we are in that cycle right now, that 4-0 has given way to 0-7, and Wilson is presumably the worst coach of all time again.
The Toronto Maple Leafs have long been a subject of such obsessive interest, but even by the franchise's unique standards, this fall has been remarkable. It is coming up on 44 years since that last Stanley Cup, the Leafs finished second last in the league in 2009-10, haven't made the postseason since before the lockout, and realistically, competing for the final place in the NHL's Eastern Conference playoff pool this season would represent a great leap forward.