Someone hand Charles Wang a hockey stick so he can club himself over the head with it.
The man is without sense, hockey sense. He still thinks the National Hockey League bows to Mike Milbury's many accomplishments, most of which were horrid. He thinks it's better to have the New York Islanders' backup goaltender serve as the general manager than the guy who helped the New York Rangers win the Stanley Cup. He thinks his team, which he purchased six years ago, is best run by a committee that includes a head coach who hasn't coached in the NHL in nine years, the backup goalie turned GM, a former Islanders great turned director of player development and another former Islanders great who reportedly resigned.
Does that sound good to you? Of course it doesn't. Ted Nolan might do well enough as the coach of the Islanders, but appointing Garth Snow as the GM and surrounding him with the likes of Bryan Trottier and (perhaps) Pat LaFontaine is like asking Larry, Curly and Moe to fix the hole in your roof. Guaranteed, something is going to go wrong.
Neil Smith lasted 40 days as the Islanders' GM before challenging Wang's committee approach to hockey and being fired. Say what you want about Smith and how he should have known what he was getting into; the fact is, he had a track record of delivering the Stanley Cup while working with a head-strong head coach, Mike Keenan. Compare that with Snow's credentials: he played in goal for 12 seasons and never won the Stanley Cup.
Wow. With a record like that, it's a wonder Wang didn't appoint Snow as the chief executive officer.
A little homework would have showed Wang that taking an active player and making him a GM is rarely a successful move, no matter the sport.
Bobby Clarke did it in 1984 after he played his final game with the Philadelphia Flyers. He went from centreman to focal point, and even now, after 22 years with various titles, many would argue that Clarke owes his longevity to one thing -- his friendship with Flyers owner Ed Snider and executive Keith Allen.
In the Canadian Football League, receiver Paul Masotti retired, then was appointed as the GM of the Toronto Argonauts, who also hired former players Dan Ferrone, as the executive vice-president, and Michael (Pinball) Clemons, as the head coach. Not long after, the Calgary Stampeders made place-kicker Mark McLoughlin the club president, then allowed him to go back to kicking when no one else could split the uprights. (Not so coincidentally, both the Argos and Stampeders struggled until they were bought by new owners.)
As for the National Basketball Association, Isiah Thomas retired from the Detroit Pistons in 1994 to become a part-owner and the executive vice-president of the expansion Toronto Raptors. During his five years, the Raptors got better, got worse and never made the playoffs. Thomas left to take a job as a television commentator.
Those in the know say Wang is convinced Snow will be a good GM because he can learn from Milbury, who gave up the title in January, yet remains in a position of importance. This is why Wang needs a good wallop in the noggin with a hockey stick.
Look at what Milbury has done, other than climb into the stands at Madison Square Garden while playing for the Boston Bruins and beat a Rangers fan with a shoe. He traded away Zdeno Chara, Wade Redden, Eric Brewer, Bryan McCabe, Ollie Jokinen, Todd Bertuzzi, Ziggy Palffy and Roberto Luongo, while passing on draft picks Dany Heatley and Jason Spezza.
And for that, Milbury got to step aside as the Islanders' GM (on his terms) and become a senior vice-president of Wang's sports holdings. No wonder the NHL is abuzz with talk of how the Islanders continue to be "embarrassing and sad," according to one source. Another added: "Wang wants to run the whole thing himself. That's like me telling him, 'I can run Computer Associates [Wang's technology firm]' " A third source stuck with the theme of the past two days and said, "I hear Jay Leno is going to be the next coach on the Island."
The current coach, Nolan, spoke to Rogers Sportsnet and insisted he was not a serial GM killer, meaning he had nothing to do with Smith's ousting, just as he had nothing to do with John Muckler's dismissal from the Buffalo Sabres in 1997.
"I know how it looks and what people are going to say," Nolan said. "I didn't have anything to do with this or the last one."
Maybe not, but what's happening on Long Island looks like a Three Stooges episode come to life, except the Stooges were meant to be eye-gouge silly. The Islanders are simply a bad joke run by an owner with more dollars than hockey sense. And that's embarrassing for the NHL.