IT'S BEEN A GOOD WEEK FOR...
ALBERT PUJOLS
By the St. Louis Cardinals slugger's standards, it was a week to forget, as, despite the All-Star Game festivities taking place in his adopted town, he could do no better than the final four in the home run derby, before going 0-for-3 with an error in the Midsummer Classic itself. Still, the batting Triple Crown candidate stepped up to the plate on U.S. President Barack Obama's behalf, sparing his blushes with a Gold Glove snare to ensure the First Pitch didn't bounce on its way to home. After all, it's not often you get to say the president owes you one.
RICHARD GASQUET
The world No..32's French kiss really had tongues wagging this week, after the Beziers-born tennis pro successfully claimed a smack on the lips from a fellow club-goer caused him to ingest the cocaine which subsequently showed up on his drug test. He might consider himself a tad fortunate, as he was facing a lengthy suspension otherwise. Of course, if he'd just stuck to the other French way, and kissed her on both cheeks, he wouldn't have got in trouble in the first place.
JACQUES LEMAIRE
Following on from that heartbreaking seventh-game loss to the Carolina Hurricanes, could there be a better time for the New Jersey Devils' first Stanley Cup-winning head coach to return to the scene of his triumph? And in a rare, everyone-is-a-winner scenario, Lemaire also came out on top after leaving behind a non-playoff team (Minnesota Wild) which has since lost its biggest star. While New Jersey fans may complain of Lemaire's dour, defensive style, they also need to look on the bright side: The Devils have never won the Cup without a former Montreal Canadiens player or coach behind the bench.
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IT'S BEEN A BAD WEEK FOR...
COLIN MONTGOMERIE
Poor old Monty. First, he's called a "drama queen" by Sandy Lyle; then, he's labelled as being English on the ESPN.com leaderboard; and finally, the Scot falls one shot shy of making the Open cut at Turnberry in front of his own fans. Still, it could be worse. He could be his nemesis, Lyle, who finished another three shots back. But then at least he'd have a couple of majors on his résumé.
PEDRO MARTINEZ
It was quick, even by Martinez's standards. No sooner had the Philadelphia Phillies inked the flame-thrower to a one-year, $1-million (U.S.) contract last Wednesday, that he was placed on the 15-day disabled list with a shoulder strain. Still, the oft-injured right-hander should be right at home there, and it's not as though the team needs him. The Phillies already have a five-game division lead, and still have the rival New York Mets' September swoon to look forward to.
WAYNE ROONEY
Taken from the Rooney Book of Revelation: He thinks he might have been a priest if he wasn't playing for Manchester United. "I always enjoyed R.E. [religious education]" he said of the calling earlier this week. Must have overlooked the visits to brothels, swearing at referees and stamping on Portuguese players, then. Still, with Cristiano Ronaldo gone from Man U and no replacement on the horizon, now might be a good time to turn to the cloth.
Paul Attfield