He may have lost his starting quarterback job in the trade from the Broncos to the Jets – for now – but there is a silver lining, other than getting to compete with Jeremy Lin for the title of biggest do-gooder in the Big Apple. Virgin Atlantic has stepped in to offer the most famous bearer of a V-card since Britney Spears free flights to London as long as he stays away from resident Jezebels, which, assuming he’s doesn’t embrace the city – and its women – Derek Jeter-style should be far easier than leading the Jets to a Super Bowl.
The Argentine legend resumed his running feud with Pele this week after the Brazilian great claimed he was “born for football, like Beethoven was born for music or Michelangelo was for painting.” But Maradona was having none of it. “Never have I heard Beethoven on the pitch,” he said. “In that case, I am Ron Wood, Keith Richards and Bono rolled into one ...” Or as the English might call him, Handel.
It didn’t take the new Red Sox manager long to lob his first spit ball at the Evil Empire down the Eastern Seaboard. Angered that Yankees manager Joe Girardi called Thursday’s tied game after nine innings because of a lack of pitching, Valentine said his counterpart wasn’t very “courteous.” Yes, because one of the most fierce rivalries in all of sports has long been defined by its courtesy.
As the revolutionary general manager of the Oakland A’s and main character of Moneyball, Beane has repeatedly shown his nous when it comes to separating the men from the boys of summer, but apparently he’s also something of a soccer savant. Asked who represented the most undervalued player in the sport by The Guardian, the American plumped for Barcelona’s Lionel Messi, which is somewhat remarkable given that the $43.5-million (U.S.) he earns a year is only $20-million less than the entire A’s roster put together.
For a guy who has never once fumbled the football, it’s quite possible he’s dropped it on this one, choosing to go from a perennial Super Bowl contender in New England to one of the NFL’s more star-crossed outfits. Still, given the Bengals’ run-ins with the law in recent years, if there’s ever a team which needed a Law Firm, as Green-Ellis is nicknamed, Cincinnati is it.